Forget self-help’s ‘Have to love yourself’ message. (Groan) We all know it’s true but frankly we’ve heard it so often we tend to go, “Yeah, yeah, have to love myself, yada yada!” That is not what we are talking about here. No, no no…we are pointedly asking;
Do you approve of yourself?
Some of you will pretend that you don’t understand this question, but we know you are wise and sensitive and you ‘get’ it. Why? Well, sadly we all have experience and practice ‘disapproving’ of others so we know in our gut what it means to approve or disapprove of someone. So, no more hiding from the question!
Do you approve of yourself? Do you approve of the way you live your life, your choices, how you treat others, conduct your relationships, how you take care of yourself, your level of honesty, your career choice, or your values? If you don’t, hello disillusionment…hello Burnout!
I met-up with one of my absolutely gorgeous VIP clients last week and it was so clear to me that in less than a year she has gone from Phase 4 burnout to totally approving of how she is living her life. Now I see a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, likes herself, owns her decisions, trusts her judgement, shares her opinions, has way more confidence and has embraced her personal power. Wow, stark contrast to a couple of decades in and out of burnout, doubting who she was and everything she was doing. She soooo approves of herself now it is an absolute delight!
Each and every week we encounter women who believe nothing they do is good enough.
Do you relate?
- You want to be less judgemental of others, but it’s not possible when you judge yourself harshly.
- You want to be more successful, but that’s difficult when you don’t trust your ideas, abilities, choices and achievements.
- You wish you were more loving, but cannot, or refuse to, practice unconditional love for yourself.
- You feel bad because you aren’t more tolerant and yet you barely tolerate your own humanness.
When you don’t approve of or trust your choices and when you doubt your ability to perform, you give others the power to control you with their opinions. When you don’t respect yourself, your relationships will lack strong, clear boundaries and repeat unhealthy patterns. When you actively disapprove of yourself you always fear failing or worse yet, ‘being a failure’. When we fall from the grace of self-approval all we experience can be summed up in one word: doubt, doubt, and more doubt.
No self-approval means no inner-peace.
It is simply that powerful. With the power of self-approval comes the right to self-determination, self-expression, self-respect and ultimately self-love. No more waiting for others to give you their stamp of approval and no more having to prove yourself till you are ready to drop. Until we reach that moment of knowing that we, not can, but will give ourselves complete approval we block our ability to flourish and thrive, we block our path towards bliss and keep on determinedly, and exhaustingly, trudging towards burnout.
So what is stopping you from self-approval? If you say “nothing” then you get it! Nothing is stopping you from accepting that you have the power of self-approval. (Relax, there is no small print that suggests that from this point on you have to be perfect and never experience another moment of doubt.) The decision to approve of yourself is instantaneous. The process of self-approval, living its truth daily, takes commitment, courage and faith.
So, if you do not approve of yourself, for whatever reason, stop and ask yourself, “Why?” You were created perfectly. You were born perfect in being who you are. All those points of ‘disapproval’ on your list are not a reflection of the true you.
Self-approval means accepting who and where
you are now AS perfect. (tweet this)
The Burnout Queens declare, it is time to stop fearing the power of self-approval. Only when you approve of yourself can you truly delight in sharing who you are with the world. You are a Burnout Queen. The power of self approval is your birthright!
Here’s one great tip!
List all of the reasons you can come up with to not approve of yourself from too fat or too thin to not successful enough. Then crumple up the paper and throw it away. That’s right, throw it away!
Do it again: new paper, crumple, throw it away.
Do it again…and again…and again.
Every single time you feel self-disapproval, name it, write down why, then (you know it) crumple it up and throw it away. You will no longer hang on to self-disapproval.
Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!
