Living Balance | The Burnout Queens

Finally, I had arrived…but where?

August 2, 2026

I’m sitting here totally frustrated! My laptop has decided on work to rule and my printer won’t communicate with my laptop! This is all due to an ‘upgrade’ that would be faster, better, quicker, easier. It’s not. I yearn for the ‘old days’ (that would be last week) when all was working just fine and plenty fast enough to get everything done.

So, I ask you Universe (‘cause you can’t talk to a human in the same country) in all sincerity and bewilderment, why does everything have to be quicker, faster, better. Just so you know, I’m not some old fuddy-duddy who wants to go back to the days of dial-up (and before you ask, yes I do remember them but only for a very short time).

We have decades in our lives that are defined by achieving, moving up, doing more, setting one bigger goal after another. I admit I remember when 18-hour days were a badge of honour. I’d arrived…but where? For me it was the land of burnout!

As we get older nature naturally begins to slow us down. Not in some scary way but in a way that encourages us to pursue more relaxation, leisure, softer values, and maybe even eventually retiring from the busyness of work-life.

We can stop trying so hard, pushing through and simply be. We can retire from busyness, hurrying just for the sake of hurrying, saying yes to please others, giving everything to our job (when did work become everything?), putting everyone else’s needs first, or doing things that don’t really matter to you.

As we find a different style of living we go through lots of changes. Some of these changes feel uncomfortable (like playing ‘hooky’ from school) but many of these changes are a welcomed breath of fresh air. With age we have the chance to reflect on what we truly want to do.

Redefining aging, and retirement, means reengaging with newness, change, reflection, beauty, quiet time, friends that ‘get you’, activities that resonate with who you are, new discoveries, adventures, creativity, old dreams, and new dreams.

The big surprise was how easy it was to make these changes, not all at once, but gradually, slowly, savouring each and every new sense of freedom.

The thing I want you to take from this is knowing that in order to find something new you always have to leave something old behind. For me it was a burnout lifestyle.

Cheers, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka The Burnout Queens)xx

The agony of decisions

July 16, 2026

Decisions! Love them or hate them they are omnipresent. Most of the mundane everyday decisions we don’t even notice, like getting up or getting dressed. We make hundreds of these nondescript decisions everyday. It is the ‘other ones’ that have some of us declaring that we ‘can’t make decisions’ and for others feeling frozen like a deer in the headlights!

Some decisions just sit there like a heavy weight.

There is no obvious solution. No right or wrong. Not really even a deadline. I know this. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier. I have even taught theories of decision making at university and one of my ‘famous quotes’ came back at me in a students term paper, “when it comes right down to it, most of us toss a coin”. In my defense, it’s true.

I know there are rarely perfectly clear answers to decisions. Heck, there are no perfect answers at all. And yet I find myself wanting a clear sign from the Universe like a bird flying by holding a sign that says ‘choose this’! One minute I think I know but in the next instance I am arguing (with myself) for the opposite! I’m sure you all know what I mean.

So I try to muster up all the wisdom (giving myself credit here) that I have accumulated over many many years and tell myself to just sit with it, go with the flow, trust the Universe and any other motivational sound bite I can recall.

Despite my best efforts every fibre in my being screams, ‘just decide’! Let me be clear, there is absolutely no time pressure on this decision, only self-induced. I can take as long as it takes to figure it out: days, months, even years.

Still the pressure feels intense and heavy like the air before a thunderstorm. It demands attention.

I have taken many ‘leaps of faith’ in my life: many hold your nose and jump moments when I didn’t have a clue if my decision was ‘right’. So everyday I ask myself why does this decision feel so different? I haven’t figured this out. Only that it is a lesson in patience, trust and faith.

By now you are either glazing over from my indecision or asking what on earth this massive decision is. Well, here it is… After almost 7 years living on the edge of a small village in the countryside, with at times only sheep as neighbours, do we move back to city living or not? (By the way, do you know how loud sheep can be? I didn’t, they are!)

Every decision means an ending and a beginning; letting go of something known and embracing something new.

All I can say is…When l know, I’ll know. When I know, you’ll know. Together we can celebrate the end of the agony of not knowing! In the meantime you can follow our spiral path, every twist and turn, forward, back and begin again!

Until next time, Embrace Life!

Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka: The Burnout Queens) xx

Embracing a summer-pace lifestyle

July 30, 2019

Always striving for balance we’ve taken impromptu moments away from work to de-stress and play… after all darling, we’re all about putting our burnout-balance-bliss system to the test.

We’re calling this our summer-pace lifestyle. It takes skill, boundaries, and plenty of curiosity.

Relaxing days strolling through newly discovered neighbourhoods, poking around interesting shops, checking out the art open houses and plenty of room for afternoon tea…cake and all. It’s what we both love and do best.

The benefit of all this summer fun? We return to work refreshed, rested and creative.

(Of course you can always catch our latest edition of ‘Hello from London & Lewes’ to see the photos that prove we are living what we suggest!)

Here’s to embracing your own summer-pace lifestyle.

The Burnout Queens xx

The Big Leap’s initial excitement

July 4, 2019

Our first morning in our new country happened to be JULY 4th! How symbolic for two Canadians to be celebrating our own Independance Day in a country we had held as a dream destination since we were both teenagers. We sat in the local cafe (we had to have the English breakfast) and just watched and took in the vibe of our new neighbourhood. It felt great and we had given ourselves a month to settle into the flow of London while we waited for our container of furniture to arrive.

Arrival date, first rental flat and lucky us it was a dreamy, quirky little up-down with a garden in North London. Welcome home!

It was fun to start decorating and fitting our belongings into a smaller space, making it work, making it feel like home, yet seeing it all in a new way.

We were settling into our adventure with enthusiasm. And of course we found a real passion for ‘taking tea’ wherever we explored. So many options and all the time in the world we kept saying. We’re not on holiday, this is where we live now. Yet it felt like the best holiday ever!

Embracing our new routine and lifestyle. Sunday morning reads & tea

New routines, new locals, new neighbours, new everything. And even though we were in England, everything had different labels, brands and names. Tiring work, so relaxing for tea and a read became our new norm!

Good start at living a Burnout-Free Lifestyle don’t you think?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

The Big Leap times 10 years!

July 3, 2019

From Here to There!

We just cannot believe it has been a full decade that we left our home and country. Last evening we were sitting in the Vancouver International Airport saying ‘shouldn’t we be nervous, or sad, or something?’ We weren’t, we were just quietly waiting for our one-way ticket to our new destination in life.

Brave or stupid? Just feels right. We had sold our condo, money in the bank, said good-bye to family, friends, neighbours and clients (although some would stay with us over skype), all our belongings except our luggage was packed into a container enroute across Canada to board a boat heading east!

A big leap of faith was starting to really happen.

I vividly remember looking out the window of the plane as we took off, looking back at my neighbourhood (we climbed right over it) and thought…’I don’t know what will happen or how it will turn out, but I’m open to whatever transpires’.

A long sleep, a beautifully calm flight and we landed in our new homeland. The customs woman looked at our passports and VISAs and said, ‘welcome home‘. Just such a deeply happy moment we had both waited for for the last 4 decades. You couldn’t wipe the smiles off our faces, even after the 10 hour flight and time-change.

So it’s official. We live in England and over the next 10 or so days in honour of these 10 years, we’ll give you a peek at the life we set up and are living from then until now (warts, pups and all)!

In the meantime…..

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY TO THE BOTH OF US!