Burnout-Free Lifestyle | The Burnout Queens

Heatwave burnout

August 12, 2026

Hello from our hot little cottage in the English countryside. Today starts the 5th heatwave alert for the summer with temperatures rising into the mid-30s Celsius.

As the Burnout Queens always say, defy ordinary.

So while others are busy rushing to and fro in this heat, we are staying inside and taking it slow and steady to get done what is absolutely necessary (between tea and a little bite of course).

It’s the only way to meet the day. If we venture out, it will be to sit here and enjoy a quiet moment of calm.

We hope you can find a moment in your day, as beautiful as this.

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka: The Burnout Queens) xx

Finally, I had arrived…but where?

August 2, 2026

I’m sitting here totally frustrated! My laptop has decided on work to rule and my printer won’t communicate with my laptop! This is all due to an ‘upgrade’ that would be faster, better, quicker, easier. It’s not. I yearn for the ‘old days’ (that would be last week) when all was working just fine and plenty fast enough to get everything done.

So, I ask you Universe (‘cause you can’t talk to a human in the same country) in all sincerity and bewilderment, why does everything have to be quicker, faster, better. Just so you know, I’m not some old fuddy-duddy who wants to go back to the days of dial-up (and before you ask, yes I do remember them but only for a very short time).

We have decades in our lives that are defined by achieving, moving up, doing more, setting one bigger goal after another. I admit I remember when 18-hour days were a badge of honour. I’d arrived…but where? For me it was the land of burnout!

As we get older nature naturally begins to slow us down. Not in some scary way but in a way that encourages us to pursue more relaxation, leisure, softer values, and maybe even eventually retiring from the busyness of work-life.

We can stop trying so hard, pushing through and simply be. We can retire from busyness, hurrying just for the sake of hurrying, saying yes to please others, giving everything to our job (when did work become everything?), putting everyone else’s needs first, or doing things that don’t really matter to you.

As we find a different style of living we go through lots of changes. Some of these changes feel uncomfortable (like playing ‘hooky’ from school) but many of these changes are a welcomed breath of fresh air. With age we have the chance to reflect on what we truly want to do.

Redefining aging, and retirement, means reengaging with newness, change, reflection, beauty, quiet time, friends that ‘get you’, activities that resonate with who you are, new discoveries, adventures, creativity, old dreams, and new dreams.

The big surprise was how easy it was to make these changes, not all at once, but gradually, slowly, savouring each and every new sense of freedom.

The thing I want you to take from this is knowing that in order to find something new you always have to leave something old behind. For me it was a burnout lifestyle.

Cheers, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka The Burnout Queens)xx

The agony of decisions

July 16, 2026

Decisions! Love them or hate them they are omnipresent. Most of the mundane everyday decisions we don’t even notice, like getting up or getting dressed. We make hundreds of these nondescript decisions everyday. It is the ‘other ones’ that have some of us declaring that we ‘can’t make decisions’ and for others feeling frozen like a deer in the headlights!

Some decisions just sit there like a heavy weight.

There is no obvious solution. No right or wrong. Not really even a deadline. I know this. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier. I have even taught theories of decision making at university and one of my ‘famous quotes’ came back at me in a students term paper, “when it comes right down to it, most of us toss a coin”. In my defense, it’s true.

I know there are rarely perfectly clear answers to decisions. Heck, there are no perfect answers at all. And yet I find myself wanting a clear sign from the Universe like a bird flying by holding a sign that says ‘choose this’! One minute I think I know but in the next instance I am arguing (with myself) for the opposite! I’m sure you all know what I mean.

So I try to muster up all the wisdom (giving myself credit here) that I have accumulated over many many years and tell myself to just sit with it, go with the flow, trust the Universe and any other motivational sound bite I can recall.

Despite my best efforts every fibre in my being screams, ‘just decide’! Let me be clear, there is absolutely no time pressure on this decision, only self-induced. I can take as long as it takes to figure it out: days, months, even years.

Still the pressure feels intense and heavy like the air before a thunderstorm. It demands attention.

I have taken many ‘leaps of faith’ in my life: many hold your nose and jump moments when I didn’t have a clue if my decision was ‘right’. So everyday I ask myself why does this decision feel so different? I haven’t figured this out. Only that it is a lesson in patience, trust and faith.

By now you are either glazing over from my indecision or asking what on earth this massive decision is. Well, here it is… After almost 7 years living on the edge of a small village in the countryside, with at times only sheep as neighbours, do we move back to city living or not? (By the way, do you know how loud sheep can be? I didn’t, they are!)

Every decision means an ending and a beginning; letting go of something known and embracing something new.

All I can say is…When l know, I’ll know. When I know, you’ll know. Together we can celebrate the end of the agony of not knowing! In the meantime you can follow our spiral path, every twist and turn, forward, back and begin again!

Until next time, Embrace Life!

Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka: The Burnout Queens) xx

On the other side of Burnout

July 8, 2026

We want you to think and dream about the other side of burnout. Even though we talk about how Bliss can be yours after burnout, let’s be clear…Bliss doesn’t mean…

sitting on a beach with a fancy drink
a remote island where you meditate all day long
that enlightenment is just around the corner

And it certainly doesn’t mean that life can’t catch up with you and bite you in the… well you know!

Life is never a straight line, it’s more of a spiral path. There will always be ups and downs, new surprises and discoveries, and, of course decisions and problems to solve.

But with each step you take, each level you transcend you will have discovered how strong you are and how resilient you are. Even more than that, you will know what’s right for you and what’s wrong. You won’t be afraid to leave something behind in pursuit of something new. One step at a time, and you own each and every amazing step. You will believe in your path, YOUR path, down to your very gut.

On the other side of Burnout you will live life your way because, believe it or not, Burnout leads you closer to the real, true YOU.

Embrace Life!

Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka: The Burnout Queens}

Embracing a summer-pace lifestyle

July 30, 2019

Always striving for balance we’ve taken impromptu moments away from work to de-stress and play… after all darling, we’re all about putting our burnout-balance-bliss system to the test.

We’re calling this our summer-pace lifestyle. It takes skill, boundaries, and plenty of curiosity.

Relaxing days strolling through newly discovered neighbourhoods, poking around interesting shops, checking out the art open houses and plenty of room for afternoon tea…cake and all. It’s what we both love and do best.

The benefit of all this summer fun? We return to work refreshed, rested and creative.

(Of course you can always catch our latest edition of ‘Hello from London & Lewes’ to see the photos that prove we are living what we suggest!)

Here’s to embracing your own summer-pace lifestyle.

The Burnout Queens xx