This May celebrates 5 illustrious and inspiring years since The Burnout Queens donned their crowns.

It all happened because one day our business coach cheekily said to us, “You ARE the Burnout Queens!”  At first we thought, “Nah, we couldn’t…could we?  We are serious psychotherapists and educators.  Can we unleash our quirky and still get our message across?”  Of course we could, so we did!

Our mission was simple…
To tell women that burnout is no way to live!

Pretty well all of our clients were Highly Sensitive, gifted, accomplished, and successful women.  They were also exhausted, overwhelmed, discouraged, frazzled, and fed-up from living a Burnout Lifestyle.  They didn’t realise that being burned out is not a normal state of affairs, it had just become their normal way of living.

5 Things Burnout Can Utterly Ruin In Your Life!

• Health
• Relationships
• Career
• Finances
• Your dreams

We weren’t novices when it came to burnout!  We had studied women’s burnout for years.  We also knew about burnout from the bottom of our hearts and souls.  We knew it from our own experiences, you see, we had both burned out more than once.

With lots of soul searching, lots of know-how, and lots of courage we changed our way of living from one of burnout to a life of balance.  In fact, we are willing to go further, our lifestyle went from burnout to balance to bliss! How could we not share that message, inspiration, and all of our practical solutions?

We (The Burnout Queens) sat and pondered and talked (of course over tea and cake) until we figured out how we had beaten back burnout and come through the other end healthy, happy, and with our irreverent senses of humour intact!

We know the recipe for turning burnout on its head!
We know the freedom in living your unique and quirky potential!

5 Things You Need To Know About Burnout Right Now!

• Burnout is more prevalent than ever.
• Burnout is never simply about juggling the stuff of your life!
• Each generation, from the Boomers to Gen Z, experience burnout.
• Burnout is more, much more, than ‘just stress’.
• You can live a burnout free lifestyle. Imagine!

The media talks about burnout from the perspective of too much stress, too much pressure, and having too much to do!  We know that burnout isn’t about juggling the stuff of your life, women are great at juggling, and it isn’t about calendars or prioritising, no…

Burnout is about who you are!

Highly Sensitive women are particularly prone to burnout.  You see your BOP Factor sends you straight to the front of the line in the burnout queue.  If you don’t understand your BOP Factor (your burnout personality) well, my love, it’s down right impossible to go from flat on your face to back on your feet!

5 Essentials (we know, yawn) for Preventing Burnout Starting Now

• Eat well
• Exercise moderately
• Get your sleep
• Say ‘No’ more than you do now
• Learn to relax

The thing is, if you are feeling fried, toasted, singed around the edges you may run screaming from the room (if you had the energy to run!) at the very idea of changing-up your life.  We are here to tell you that renewing your life is doable; small everyday changes can mysteriously and magically add up to living burnout free forever.

5 Reasons Darling You Have To Say NO To Burnout!

• If you want to find the real you.
• If you ever want to enjoy having energy galore.
• If you are dreaming about discovering new dreams.
• If you want your relationships to be richer and sweeter.
• So YOUR Life will be more fulfilling and full!

I mean to say, what are you waiting for?

If you are living a burnout lifestyle, if you are teetering on the edge of burnout, you need to stick with us.  We know, we believe, and we want to share with you just how…

Life beyond burnout is bliss!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

Sometimes, without any warning, it becomes obvious that the direction you might be headed in is looking, shall we say, questionable.  Well, that is exactly what happened to us.  January usually signals the beginning of unlimited opportunities and possibilities, however, this January felt different.  Instead of being excited by the plans we had put in place we were feeling exhausted and unsure of the next step.  We were, to put it in burnout terms, fried!

The Holiday Season had been hectic: in a good way (yeah, surprise house guests) and in a bad way (yuck, surprise viruses).  We had been counting on that time away from work and other usual obligations to catch our breath and quietly think (in our HSP way) about dreams of the future and plans for the year to come.

In December we had stripped our vision board of last year’s memorabilia ready to embrace these new dreams, ideas, and plans.  Surprisingly, the board remained blank and every time we walked past it, it glared accusingly at us…

“Come on, fill me up with dreams and ideas,
you know you want to!”

We did want to, we had a plan, or so we thought.  In truth, it turned out we were as blank as that board!  Tellingly, the only thing that remained on our board was one of our favourite signs, it reads…

“Tear Up The Plans”

And so we did.  What had seemed so right, now simply didn’t.  It’s inevitable sometimes we know and sometimes we don’t.  We change, we grow, we get wiser, gain clarity, and sometimes we gain confusion.  And you know what?  It is all OK.

It’s OK to not know.  It’s OK to feel unsure.
It’s OK to take time till you know.

We were at that proverbial fork in the road and couldn’t decide on the ‘right’ direction!  So we did what we tell our clients to do, sit down in the middle of the road and wait.  Pushing pause on plans gives you time and space to ask yourself some probing questions, lots and lots of questions.  You know us, we love questions more than we love answers!  Questions like:

What do I feel is missing?  What would make me bounce out of bed in the morning?  What view do I want to see when I look out my kitchen window?  What don’t I relish about life these days?  What could I do without right now?  What can’t I do without?  What do I wish I had done before now?  What do I imagine myself doing in the future?

It’s not about regretting, it’s about discovering a new starting point.

Our original plan was actually going to put us behind rather than move us forward so the plan had to go.  We were disappointed although relieved.  We still occasionally groan that we, “should have pushed onwards” but only because pausing the plan is different from our usual ‘fear be damned’ response! To an HSP wired for burnout (but too wise to go there) it feels a bit like plodding, a bit like we gave-up, even if I’m to be truthful, a bit like failing.  But I know it is none of that!  It is using our HSP intuition, creativity, and smarts.

Arriving at a fork in the road can be brilliant!  It’s a sign.
It’s an opportunity to Tear up the Plan.

So that is where we are at.  And, you know what?  New plans are already forming.  Life never stands still.  So, if you are at your own fork in the road like we are and you feel confused about which direction to choose (we are there with you sister!), sit down and have a think.  The future is not going anywhere.  It could be time for you to tear up your plans and stage your own creative revolution.  Want our advice?

Take your time, be open to the unexpected,
and have a nice cup of tea…with cake of course!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

This is the perfect time of year to ask you to imagine.  If you believe in angels, elves or magical sleigh rides then you are ready to dream.

What do you imagine your life to be…someday?

We are talking about the Big Picture, not plans or goals.  Oh, plans and goals are helpful when it comes to making things happen but they go nowhere without your imagination, your desire to dream big.  Whatever you choose to call your Big Dream (life vision, life dream, or wide angle view) we want you to indulge in imagining it in all its glory.

Now you know that the BOQs believe in inspiration, but we are also pretty ‘down to earth’!  We are not necessarily preaching the ‘dream it and it will happen’ school of thought, but we do believe that once you begin to dream your life in the future you breathe an energetic spirit into your dream and that is when it becomes a possibility.

Having a vision of your life in the future takes you beyond a place of limitation to a place of possibility and opportunity.

We all have times when we think about the future and wish or hope that things will be different.  Well, no one ever accused the BOQs of being subtle so here is what we believe…wishing is wishy-washy!  Wishing and hoping don’t make things happen.  Wishing is passive. ‘Wanting’ on the other hand encourages you to stretch and challenge yourself to realise your potential.  Wanting has energy.

To make things happen you need to want!

Still skeptical whether or not you have the ability to design a life vision for yourself?  Anyone can dream what is possible, dreaming and imagining is a natural process of our psyche.  Since the beginning of humanity every single achievement or invention began as a sparkle of an idea in someone’s mind.  Everything that exists was merely a thought once upon a time.

Allowing yourself to dream and design a life vision means getting a sneak preview of life to come.

We know that many of you, our darling readers, are looking for a new dream, a different direction, deeper satisfaction, new challenges, and definitely more time to laugh and love.  You only need an idea, a ‘wouldn’t it be great if…’ kind of idea.  The rest will unfold as you allow yourself to dream.  After all, what better time of year is there to believe?

There is plenty to come!

We send you our love and wishes for a gentle and loving holiday time.  We sincerely hope you will join us on this adventure called life next year as we unravel our new dreams along with yours. 

May we all pray in whatever way we do for Peace on Earth, there could be no greater gift.

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

This month is all about energy.  We spend it, we lament it, we curse it, and we desire it.  But…do we understand it?  Well, the Burnout Queens have some pretty simple ideas and solutions for nurturing your energy, so let’s get started.

First of all, there is no one infinite pot of energy to draw on, sorry but it’s true.  This came as a big shock to me when I was totally burned out.  I had always figured when I used up my energy from one pot I’d just switch to another and keep on trekking!  When I realised that I had only one pot of energy to draw from I began treating it like a pot of gold.

Energy is nature’s pulse.

Energy is one of our most basic needs.  Energy is nature’s pulse.  Think about nature and how we never question the shift between high energy and low energy, activity and rest; think of the tides and the seasons, think of plants and animals.  Well, us human beings also need that rhythmic movement between activity and rest.  We need to learn to spend and recover energy.

When we find ourselves out of energy, running on empty, it is usually because we have overridden that natural rhythmic pulse.  We work long hours, we work without breaks, we divide our energy by constant multi-tasking, we keep going even when we know we are exhausted, we get the minimum amount of sleep we can function on, we grab empty calories to stave off hunger, and if you are truly a highly sensitive Burnout Queen you put everyone elses’ needs before your own.

HSPs are in touch with their energy flow,
but often ignore it’s needs!

HSPs’ energy levels quite naturally have peaks and troughs, often big ones.  Some may say you need to get a handle on these and even them out, but not us.  We know these highs and lows of energy are important to you as a highly feeling and creative individual.  We wouldn’t dream of telling you to limit them, instead we suggest that you create/add buffer zones or equilibrium phases to your natural HSP energy cycles.  For example, if you have been enjoying a period of peak creative energy plan an ‘equilibrium space’.  Enjoy this shift in pace instead of seeing it in a negative light of being uninspired, lacking inspiration or motivation, even lazy…you get my drift!  Of course, you may experience a ‘depleted’ level of energy after finishing your masterpiece, that is part of the nature’s cycle of expenditure and restoration.  It’s about perception.  Respect the shift, savour the quiet energy, enjoy your downtime, and take care of simpler, slower aspects of life.

We all need times when we step out of the race, stop soaking up information, and shift our energy from doing doing doing to being being being.  We need downtime.  Downtime is productive time.

Downtime is time to think, to rest, to restore, to create, to
contemplate, to breathe, to love,
to find and refind your sense of Self.

Nurturing your energy flow doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult.  It doesn’t even have to take up much time.  What it does take is awareness and a simple question.

We promised you a simple, doable (dare we say inspiring…yes we dare!) inspiring way of nourishing and nurturing your energy flow.  We call it…P*I*E*S!

P is for Physical:  Protecting your fundamental sources of energy: food, fluids, breathing, and rest.

I is for Intellectual:  Keeping your mental energy up by challenging yourself with new learning.

E is for Emotional:  Staying in touch with your emotions and expressing them.

S is for Spiritual:  Living with Spirit means slowing down and listening to your inner voice.

Put it all together into one simple but life changing question to ask yourself on a daily basis…

Am I taking care of my energy needs Physically, Intellectually,
Emotionally, and Spiritually TODAY?   P*I*E*S

Now, there is one last thing I think we should talk about around this topic of energy and that is…Aging!  Ok, there I’ve said it.  We lose our energy as we age, right?  Not necessarily.  Some women find they have more energy with age as they grow into being comfortable with who they are and freer to pursue and express their uniqueness.

As we age well our choices about how we spend our energy may undergo a complete renaissance.  We may choose to spend our energy differently; we may desire different things, pursue different activities, we may decide to change paths completely or live a totally different lifestyle.  Of course there may be a few more creaks and groans but each day as we age is an opportunity to initiate life changing choices.

Dance to your hearts content, but then catch your breath, find that
rhythm, and listen to your own wise voice.

Yes, my loves, with awareness, commitment, and a few simple changes you can fall in love with your energy.  Who would have thought it could be as easy as, you got it…

P*I*E*S

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

How many of you indulge in ‘retro-worry’?  Show of hands please!  We knew it.  Oh my goodness, us Highly Sensitive types are brilliant at retro-worrying, in fact, you could say we take it to an art form!  If you are wondering what on earth I mean by ‘retro-worry’, well, it sounds like this and it just may sound familiar.

Should I have?  What if I had…?  Why didn’t I?  If only I had… Why did I say that?  Why didn’t I say that?  What do you think s/he meant by that?  Why did I do that?  Why didn’t I do that?  Why did I leave that relationship, take that job, die my hair bright green…? 

Retro-worry keeps you stressed and it keeps you stuck.

This wonderful brain of mine can take me back years simply to retro-worry about something that was ‘done and dusted’ long ago.  This creates a problem since all it does is keep me stuck looking over my shoulder.  It’s like driving forward with your gaze stuck on the rear view mirror!

When we retro-worry about the distant past, or even about something yesterday, we get stuck in a loop; we keep retracing our steps only to end up right back where we are now.  This loop never allows us to move forward.  All it does is unnecessarily compound stress and tension, ultimately drain our energy, and lead to feeling over-aroused and overwhelmed.

Goodness knows, there are enough daily stressors in our world without needing to dredge up long-lost ones!

Now here is something that you may not realise about indiscriminate retro- worry, it winds you up.  You may be worrying about something that happened 20 years ago but your body doesn’t know that.  The minute you start into retro-worrying your body swings into action with ‘in the moment’ stress responses.  That’s a no-win situation for your body because it’s making all the appropriate moves to alert you and protect you but nothing is changing; there is no release for all the tension, there is nothing ‘real’ that can be achieved or solved with retro-worry.

Retro-worry creates the kind of anxiety
that you can do nothing about.

When we perceive past events as ‘mistakes’ or ‘stupid follies’ then we are more likely to anticipate future events in the same way.  We would go so far as to say that retro-worrying allows the past to dictate future thinking, for example believing that if you didn’t get something right in the past means you will likely fail at it in the future.  Nonsense we say!  Using retro-worry as a crystal ball seriously affects our sense of who we are; our very sense of Self.  Turn that crystal ball upside down, however, and we learn from our past perceived mistake, evolve our definition of who we are, and move forward with the assumption that if the same type of thing happens in the future we will handle it differently, we will be different.

Getting stuck in the muck of retro-worry
limits your freedom of choice.

You can’t change the past, but you can at this present moment in time, make another choice, take another path. You can learn whatever lessons you can, then look straight ahead and head on out into the future.

Thing is, in most cases, you did the best you could do, made the choice that was ‘right’ at the time. (Of course you all know the BOQs belief: there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices, there are simply choices.)  Maybe you could have done something else, said something different, turned a different corner, but if you had truly known that at the time you probably would have done it back then.  I mean, in retrospect would I have bought the bright orange shaggy wool coat from Peru that made me look a little like Big Bird?  (Hey it was the 80s and it felt ‘right’ at the time…really!)

Retro-worrying holds the HSP back.
We bring forward the mistake instead of the learning.

So why discuss retro-worry?  Easy!  From our work we know that HSPs and Peak Performers share characteristics, strengths, and gifts.  Now when Peak Performers revisit and reflect on a ‘fumble’ they learn what went ‘wrong’ so that they can enhance their performance now and in the future.  When an HSP looks back on the ‘fumble’ we tend to focus on any perceived failure, upset, and often get mired in the emotions of how it made us, and anyone else involved, feel…real or not.  We tend to review and relive the mistake, the upset, and most certainly the self-judgement rather than reflecting on the past so that we can learn, grow, and let it go.

As HSPs we all need to learn to make the distinction between reflection (which we love and do so well) and retro-worry (which we hate but do so well!).  We need to create healthy boundaries between these two vistas.  Honouring this distinction allow us to harness all that energy that gets stuck in retro-worrying and use it to move forward in our lives, forward toward our dreams.  So, our lovely Burnout Queens, repeat after us…

Learn, grow, and let it go!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.