A wise woman raised a very thought provoking idea in her recent post: can something in life become so familiar that we stop seeing it for what it is. As strange as it sounds, do we stop seeing ‘danger’ in the everyday ordinary? I really had to think hard about this and then it became crystal clear.
As you know by now, we are struggling with ‘The Big Decision’ (it had to be bolded ‘cause as I write this I hear a booming game show voice in my head) do we stick with country living or become townies again? As I write this I hear hunters up in the fields. Everytime I hear a volley of shots my heart stops for that moment and I want to cry. Clearly I am not made out of country stuff!
Having said that, almost daily we tell ourselves that maybe, just maybe, we should stay on here. Why??? What became clear today is that the familiar ‘Here’ means security. The Estate we lease from isn’t going to sell off property after hundreds of years of tenants. If we move to a city we are back to a riskier situation. Everybody thinks you should own a house but renting has allowed us to live in different places, each with their individual pros and cons. Some we loved and some not so much. We never feared moving on, in fact we rather relished it. It was part of the original grand plan when we moved from Canada to the UK. Ten years or so of big city living and then another 10 years or so of country living.
We forget that our decision making didn’t take a ‘wrong’ turn!
My head shouts, “How could we have made such a stupid decision?” My heart whispers, “Of course you didn’t it was an opportunity to try something new”. My head counters with, “Another bad decision means you should be fearful of the next”. Yes, every time we venture into this decision making journey the safety of the familiar rears it’s head and we retreat toward ‘knowing’. The ‘danger’ is that settling for something only because it is safe and familiar means accepting, no quibbles, what it actually means to you.
As winter settles in here the decision becomes all about timing. Winter is not our favourite season as we experienced many losses in past winters. Then add the practicalities of winter in the country! We will have to rely on planning a new stage of life and lots of patience to get us through the coming dark days.
Acceptance can be difficult especially when you stop seeing the danger in settling for something that no longer fits. Safety comes from being honest with yourself and trusting your inner knowing even if at times you don’t like what it is telling you! And that’s just it.
With Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka The Burnout Queens)