Three months ago we heard that a friend had gone missing. At the time we had no idea what could have happened to her. It was widely reported that she may have simply ‘disappeared from her life on purpose’. She wouldn’t have done this; she was an intelligent, accomplished, savvy, gentle soul and would not have hurt the people around her like this.
Our hearts were cold with fear because we knew from all our many years of education and practice in the field of women’s studies and women’s psychology that the sad but still true fact is the mere fact of being a woman puts you at risk.
Yesterday we found out that the police had arrested a man she had come to trust in her life on suspicion of murder. They have still not found Helen. We feel sick with our own personal grief but we also feel angry.
The majority of women who are killed are killed by trusted males in their lives. Domestic violence is still one of the leading causes of injury and death for women.
It’s not only the ‘night’ that we need to take back, we need to take back our world. It isn’t right that we have to even think about, let alone worry about, going out alone at night, what you are wearing, how you are looking, what you say, who you flirt with or even who you live with. It’s just not right.
For decades we have asked, oh let’s be truthful, begged women to read this brilliant book and then to give it to their daughters, granddaughters, sisters and nieces and then friends daughters, granddaughters, sisters and nieces. The book is called:
The Gift of Fear. Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence by Gavin De Becker. Published by Little, Brown and Company in 1997.
(sadly I’ve been told to add this one line…we are not receiving any payment for promoting this book)
We have to start somewhere to take back our world, this book offers all of us a good starting point.
So in honour of Helen, our lovely Helen and her mini-dachs Boris, please take care of yourself, please read, please please trust your intuition and protect yourself. And then…live the fullest life you can. We can all do this for Helen.
In love and light, The Burnout Queens xx