Brighton

Prepping for vacation: The Burnout Queens style

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Here we were rushing, working, preparing, writing, and recording our latest programme all before the lovely relations joined us for two weeks of hols in the hot english seaside.

We were working to a deadline but it was a mindset and an arbitrary date that, if kept, would see us exhausted and grumpy for the hols (I wish they weren’t coming so soon) instead of anticipating them with joy (can’t wait to see them again)!  So we decided it’s joy rather than exhaustion. 

How did we turn it around in our favour. You know the answer. We did it with Burnout Queen-style!

  • Listening to our own wisdom (walking the walk)
  • Being mindful of our bodies screaming ‘stop already’
  • Prioritising us over the work (front & centre)
  • Knowing when to say ‘no’ and let it go

That meant we stopped early and left the outstanding bits for our return. The old burnout personality would have thought ‘eeek not a wise decision, better get it finished because you may not be able to find that groove you were in’.   Well that groove was turning into a right old rut and we’ve learned that leaving it can be a far wiser choice.  We had written down where to begin again and what we wanted to say in an outline, so we were covered.  Done with the prep work, all we needed on  return were the sparkly touches.

We trusted how we were feeling and made decisions about our health before digging in and running ourselves into the ground.  We were not going to spoil this vacation. No way, no how. These Burnout Queens had palaces and castles to conquer and lots and lots of tea and cake to eat!

By golly that’s exactly what happened.  Palaces, teas and castles delighted all of us and on return to work, the new programme was sparkled up and launched!

Next time you have a deadline with something wonderful as it’s reward make sure you have the energy left to enjoy it fully.  Remember to prepare for your vacation in true Burnout-Queen-style.

The programme?  We’ve called it …

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This video will give you the complete scoop.  Click here  Enjoy!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

 

Castles, business and the steep climb

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This summer I had the good fortune of visiting two castles in the SE of England.  They are both beautiful ancient structures that require a bit of legwork to take advantage of magnificant views from the top of what’s called ‘the castle keep’.

I didn’t climb the tallest, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity at Lewes Castle’s Keep which is the remaining structure still standing from the 1060’s (think about this for a moment)!  To say the view is breathtaking over the South Downs is an understatement.

It was a 35 step climb (I can be OCD on these things) and while I was on my way up I thought this is just like building a business.  Bear with me, my mind can jump into biz mode when least expected.

I climbed the first flight not knowing how far up it would go and it landed me in an open space where I could catch my breath and look at a view much higher than where I had started from.  Next flight got narrower, steeper and I was a little winded (and relieved) by the time I reached the next plateau.  The view was amazing and now, although I could see the ultimate steepness of the last flight to the top,  I was eager to go.  I could sense the excitement of climbing out onto the top of the Keep, although I didn’t know exactly what to expect.  The last climb was hard and left me breathless, but I was so glad I didn’t turn away and descend before I had challenged myself on the last leg of the staircase.  The reward was worth every moment.

It really is like building your business.  You start at the bottom and you don’t know where the top is.  Each climb gets you to a new plateau, giving you new knowledge and perspective on what you are doing and why.  You plan the next phase and then it’s time to take action by stretching yourself further.  Each time you stretch and climb you need that little extra muscle, energy and focus to reach the top…even when you don’t know what is waiting.

I love a learning curve and I love discovery.  35 steps to the top may seem small, but when it’s an ancient ruin full of tiny stone steps, a steep climb and openings narrow enough to barely accommodate a bow and arrow those 35 steps are profoundly magical.

Ready to climb?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

My Boss Bunked Off Work!

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I have choice at my company. It’s a flexible workplace so if it’s sunny out I can go out and enjoy my day with a mind to work on another day.

Deciding is often easier because I ask the same questions my boss asks.  Don’t ask what you should do, but what you want to do.

Decision made.. 2 bosses (hey because I’m one) bunked off work the other day and were found browsing the North Laines (well one had a hair appointment so we made a morning of it). We both love working this way.  Then we were back in the afternoon ready to write and create.

This is truly an example of how to ‘think aside’.  When we are away from the desk, the minds start to expand and think in a different way.  Out of the confines of the office (even if they are beautiful) allows thoughts to come more naturally.

This kind of day…doing something I want…definitely gets the creative juices going (including this post) over coffee and jam doughnuts.

How can you create a ‘thinking aside’ moment in your work life that suits you and your company?

Love, The Burnout Queens, xx

Good things come in small packages!

f&mspecialWell, The Burnout Queens always say, if you’re waiting for the BIG things in life to make it worthwhile, you may be waiting a long time.

This beauty bundle arrived in a cardboard box today.  We totally expected to get our order of teas from the department store we love (Fortnum & Mason) in London.  It’s one of the little pleasures and indulgences we allow ourselves.  We’ve been having it delivered to our seaside home for over a year now and was just expecting to unpack the box of teas.

Surprise and delight…this little beauty box was thrown in unannounced and unexpected.  What do they say, good things come in small packages.  Well F & M delivered.  A little box of truffles…a small bit of luxury in an otherwise ordinary workday.

We are convinced more than ever, that it’s the small everyday events that add up to a pleasurable life.

Someone put the kettle on, we’ll all have tea!

Love,  The Burnout Queens xx

 

 

Divine Madness | Love Your Work!

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The Burnout Queens love Love; big Love, small Love, puppy Love!  Of course we are talking about Love today, check the date!  (There are times we love to be predictable!)  In past years we’ve ‘done’ Love (with a capital L), we’ve definitely talked about self-love and yes we have even explored the steamy kind, but love of work, loving what you do, is not necessarily the dot that gets connected to hearts and flowers.

Plato referred to love as ‘divine madness’ and Freud believed that two of the most important aspects of life were love and work.  So is it madness to believe you need to love your work to be healthy and happy?  The Burnout Queens don’t think so!

We have a very real need to love what we do… our work, the product, our art, our contribution and our success.
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If we connect love with work we should expect big moments of passion, true calling, momentous insights, or at least a big ‘kissy fest’ with our colleagues all the time…right?   Not necessarily so.

It can be a challenge to notice signs, big or small, of the kind of love that means your work is engaging your soul.  These signs often hide in the everyday, the mundane, the tedious and the commonplace.  So what exactly are you looking for?

Well, when you work with mindfulness you begin to identify signs of loving what you do: a moment of pride for a well done job; a rush of warmth, understanding or caring toward a co-worker;  the comfortable familiarity of an everyday task; the old books on the shelves in the boardroom; taking a moment to ‘see’ the painting you love on your office wall, the view outside your window; knowing you are doing ‘good’ work or providing for your life and family.

Here are some moments of love in my work:

black-heart15Typing this draft with my soul-dog on my lap (not great for my posture but fab for my heart),
black-heart15Receiving a ‘Hello here’s what I’m up to!’ from a long-ago (but never forgotten) client,
black-heart15Having an ‘ah hah moment’ when two seemingly diverse ideas collide and become something new...BIG LOVE!
black-heart15Writing that flows from the heart.
black-heart15A hot cup of tea and biscuit on the corner of my desk.
black-heart15Being ‘told’ to take a break by a ball dropped on my foot or thrown down the stairwell followed by barking!
black-heart15Receiving baby pictures, pet pictures, family pictures from clients new and old.
black-heart15Taking a brain-break by editing something already written (ah relax).
black-heart15Dropping a quick “Thinking of you” to a client for no reason other than to connect.
black-heart15Hearing the birds in the tree outside my window.
black-heart15Looking up to see the picture of Dad on my bookshelf.
black-heart15Stopping to read the Burnout Queens Desiderata (You mean you haven’t got one? Join the Realm Darlings!)

Let’s be honest we can all lose the love of our work from time to time! 

There will be days you don’t feel like showing up, but don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you don’t love what you do!

Stress, pressures, deadlines, dreaded tasks, the evil boss or conniving colleague, or just the tedium of the everyday can trick even the most enlightened and sensitive amongst us into missing (or possibly avoiding or ignoring) many opportunities to connect with the love of what you do.

In the BIG picture we all want to be happy at work.  We want our work to be engaging, pleasurable and fun at times.  We truly want to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the wellbeing of others in the world.  That sense of contributing is love personified.

Yes there are times when we drag ourselves ‘to the office’ moaning, but there are other times when maybe life is in turnoil that work becomes a place of refuge, a sanctuary.  Just the other day a client whose world has been turned upside down said it so clearly, “Thank goodness for my work, it’s keeping me sane!”  There was a time that my office became my retreat, my haven of peace, from family illness, crises and loss.  It was physically a peaceful and serene place, I loved my clients, and when ‘in session’ I was unavailable to the outside world!  What’s not to love.

Even if you aren’t currently in your ideal job or career, allow yourself to love aspects of what you are doing.

Finding love for what you do in the present doesn’t mean you can’t dream about the future and embrace change when it comes.
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Love for your work, in whatever nooks and crannies you can find it, opens up your imagination, your creativity and awakens your soul.

Being a highly sensitive woman means you were delightfully designed to find work you love but first you have to find love in your work. 

 

From our hearts to yours…Happy Valentines Day!

 

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

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Photography: Caroline True Photography | Illustration by Veronica Miller | Site Design: Kim McDaniels | Disclaimer