Brighton

NOW is the Capital City of Aware! (How to Get Present)

How to get present

“I want to be more present, I want to live in the now!”  No problem!  No, seriously, it’s time to stop making ‘presence’ a problem in your life or something else you consider yourself not very good at.  You can’t get this one wrong!  It’s simple (now you know The Burnout Queens like simple) all you have to do is to turn up your awareness because…

You are already living in Now!

It all goes terribly ‘wrong’ when you think you should, ought to, or need to be present.  You can’t think your way to being present!  So, what does ‘being present’ or as we prefer ‘living in Now’ actually mean?

Well lovelies, Now is simply a state of being conscious and aware.

Living in Now is to be experienced, not thought about or analysed, and Now is definitely not about doing.  In fact our cultural obsession with doing takes us away from Now.  You are right here in Now, even right now so to speak!  All you have to do is learn to pay attention on purpose!

Many of you want to know ‘how’ to live in Now, so here is the one really important thing to remember, you must pay attention without judgement!  Oh we can hear you groaning, but it’s not as hard as you think.  The minute you hear yourself editorialising about your experience you’ve left Now and travelled into the land of should of, could of, would of, if only or what if…none of which have anything to do with Now.  When you start time travelling, ask yourself…

What’s happening right Now?  What’s real right Now?

Sometimes it’s difficult realising how ‘in Now’ we really are because we get lost by constantly running off into the future or into the past.  If you want to enjoy living today you have to stop ruminating and worrying about what’s happening tomorrow or next week or resenting or regretting what did or didn’t happen yesterday.

We can remember the past and plan for the future, but the only place we can live in is Now!
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Living in Now is not a difficult skill.  It’s not going to take years of learning some new philosophy or form of meditation.  It takes a bit of extra effort to pay attention at first, like anything new, and you have to have patience with yourself.  Beyond that, we know that as soon as this idea ‘clicks’ for you it will become pretty natural.

Try any of these tiny, simple ways to entice your consciousness back to Now.  For instance, while sitting at my desk right now I can,

♦       Take a big deep breath (instantly brings you into your body)

♦       Ask, ‘Am I physically comfortable or stiff and achey?’

♦       Look out the window and actually see the weather, trees, birds

♦       Ask, ‘Am I hungry or thirsty?’

♦       Check, ‘Has my office become too cold or warm?’

♦       ‘Tune in’ and listen to the classical piece on the radio.

These are all about pausing and cueing yourself to the present by observing ‘how’ you are at that particular moment in time.  With consistency this way of staying aware will literally become a no-brainer.  It will, in fact, become automatic and natural.

You can also practice being more actively aware in small ways.  For instance I can stop and:

♦       Run my hands over the arms of my chair and feel of the wood.

♦       Quietly watch my breath rise and fall for a few minutes.

♦       Look around my desk and observe… the antique lamp I love, the ‘smiling pig’ birthday card, my ‘goal’ post it note to self, and my Grandpa’s old letter opener.

The secret to being present is believing that whatever you are experiencing or doing at this very moment in time, big or small, is important.

Living in Now, starts as a skill that needs a bit of practice and then blossoms into a beautiful natural way of being in your world.  Here’s my confession, I am a true thinking, reflecting, analysing HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) so it’s pretty easy for me to drift off into my thoughts and ideas.  So whether it’s gently bringing myself back to a conversation or task or staying in touch with my physical, emotional and spiritual self, living in Now is something I actively and consciously practice and enjoy each and every day.

Here’s another little secret, many of our Burnout Queens talk about needing more focus in their day or in their lives in general.  Well, live in Now and you ARE focused!  Plain and simple!

You may have noticed that we have capitalised Now, kind of like it’s the capital city of Aware!  Well, that’s because we want you to consider it a wonderful place to BE, think of it kind of like the emerald city of Oz.

For it to work in the world of the Burnout Queens it has to be simple, practical, inspirational, and yes quirky!  We want you to be able to simply say to yourself ‘Go to Now’.  After all, when you live in Now,

Now IS now!

So click your ruby red heels and BE there…or be square!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

The Burnout Queens | Dr Toby and Dr Bev

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

PPS!  The Burnout Queens have a special invitation waiting for you…

We would love you to be part of our exclusive members only club for women, The Realm!

the-realm-invitation

The Motivation Dilemma…Stop Sitting and Waiting!

motivation dilemma

Oh how we have come to dread hearing the ‘M’ word!  You know the one…

♦       I have no motivation.

♦       I just can’t get motivated.

♦       I don’t know what will motivate me.

♦       I’ve lost my motivation!  (Quick call search and rescue!)

Oh the motivation dilemma!  If you are waiting to be ‘struck’ by motivation, kind of like lightning, it’s not a good bet given that lightning never strikes twice in the same place!  So much for motivation.  Well, you don’t have to wait for the heavens to part, motivation is in each and every one of us right now, tomorrow, and each and every day after that.  “Great”  you say, “so how do I find it?” (Ahhhhhhhh!)

You don’t find motivation…

You don’t get hit by divine motivation…

You live motivation!

Motivation is in the doing.  Motivation takes commitment and follow-through.  It’s about action.   If you sit and wait for motivation, you could be waiting a very long time, a lifetime even!  Have you got the patience for that?   No, you have to get up and do, get up and try, sometimes over and over again if you want to feel motivated.

Try this…think about something that you have been waiting to be motivated to do.  Now ask yourself,  “Why am I waiting and what exactly am I waiting for?”  Wouldn’t you get more satisfaction and pleasure from actually digging in and doing it?  You certainly would get more results!

You ‘find’ motivation when desire and action share the same path.
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The thing is, if we really want something we usually do it.  For instance,  I want to order-in dinner tonight, no problem with my motivation.  How about taking Friday afternoon off?  I’ve got motivation galore!  So question number one just has to be,

If you absolutely aren’t motivated to act, is it something you truly want to do?

It’s pretty simple, next time you are waiting for motivation to hit, get honest about what you want to do or what the desired outcome is for you.  Then after consideration, you still want to do it, just start.  Take a step NOW.  You will love yourself!  Once you begin to see motivation as a verb rather than a noun the sky is your limit!

Darling, doing is a choice, so get up,get moving and get motivated!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

The Burnout Queens | Dr Toby and Dr Bev

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

PPS!  The Burnout Queens have a special invitation waiting for you…

We would love you to be part of our exclusive members only club for women, The Realm!

the-realm-invitation

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Photography: Caroline True Photography | Illustration by Veronica Miller | Site Design: Kim McDaniels | Disclaimer