Well the talk about perfectionism really struck a chord with many of you.
It’s true, given the ‘right’ upbringing, pretty well anyone can become a perfectionist, but highly sensitive and creative women naturally tend toward perfectionism. Striving for ‘perfect’ is kind of part of the package that is ‘normal for us’.
No it’s not a flaw in the wiring! It is what we call an artifact of some other fabulous traits we have. First off, HSPs are exquisitely perceptive and sensitive to communications. So as children we often pick up messages about being perfect where others wouldn’t. Highly sensitive kids ‘read between the lines’, as I like to tell parents, however, they are kids so can just as easily get the message wrong. As a parent you may not mean “do it perfectly or you won’t be loved”, but that unfortunately can be what the HSP child ‘hears’.
Here’s another thing, as HSPs we are often ‘overly’ reliable, conscientious, and concerned about pleasing others. We have a tremendous focus on detail, are good at processing, thinking, and ruminating about almost anything and everything. We keep everything we do under a microscope and are pretty consistently hard on ourselves. As one HSP client put it, “I look for the flaws in my life where others tend to look past my flaws”. Exactly.!
HSPs are so cautious about making mistakes, one could even say terrified of making mistakes, that they believe they should do anything ‘only once and do it right’. What a trap this is since all learning is, in essence, built on trial and error.
The intensity that we HSPs bring to everything we do, be it trivial or major, combined with perfectionism can put us on the fact track to burnout.