Burnout doesn’t ‘happen’ all at once. Burnout sneaks up on you. The 4 D’s are a progressive ladder of emotions that play a major role in burnout. Apply these to any area of your life and pinpoint where you are on the ‘ladder’ and what you need to do to create change.
No. 1 Disappointed ~
When disappointed you may feel, sad, confused, thwarted, unsatisfied, frustrated, regretful, let-down or even betrayed.
Your hopes or expectations have not been met.
If disappointed you may need a very active response towards the situation or person. Small changes can have a big impact. Look for solutions or change your desired outcome and don’t be afraid to express your disappointment.
No. 2 Discouraged ~
When discouraged you may feel, weary, pessimistic or dejected.
Your confidence and enthusiasm is diminishing be it for a situation, project or even a person.
When you are discouraged it takes more effort to keep looking for different ways forward. The key here is to keep trying and keep going. Look at what you are disappointed in and what isn’t working for you. Take a break from the situation so that you can refocus and recoup your energy.
No. 3 Disillusioned ~
When disillusioned you may feel futile, despondent or defeated.
You are losing sight of your dream, goal or desired outcome. You may start expecting the worst. You are losing your desire to try. It’s ‘as if’ your belief or faith in something or someone is mistaken or unrealistic.
When you are feeling disillusioned you know something is not right. You no longer feel enthusiastic or energetic about what you are doing. You are not even feeling sure about what your goal originally was. You may begin to fear or expect a poor outcome.
You need to retrace your steps back from disillusionment. You need to reconnect with your original desires and goals. Ask yourself if it is still what you want, what (or who) has gotten in your way, and the important question, are you still willing to move towards your goal, regardless.
No. 4 Disheartened ~
When disheartened you feel dispirited, weary or even depressed.
It’s almost too hard to care anymore. You begin to feel indifferent towards the situations, people or experiences. You have lost your usual determination. You feel like you are out of options or resources when it comes to finding a solution.
It takes a lot of energy to respond when you are disheartened because it feels like you have lost the heart and soul of what you were doing. You feel lost. So what do you do? Don’t hide from the truth of how you are feeling. Talk about how you are feeling. Maybe you need help to sort it out. You may have to temporarily or permanently stop the very thing that has brought you to this point.
Remember, even if you are feeling disheartened you can still change. Go back to the beginning of the ladder and retrace your steps. Make whatever small changes you can. Then stop and reevaluate where you are and what you want.
With love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka The Burnout Queens)