Highly Sensitive Woman

The experience of living as a highly sensitive woman in a noisy, busy and unrelenting world

The Big Leap’s initial excitement

Our first morning in our new country happened to be JULY 4th!  How symbolic for two Canadians to be celebrating our own Independance Day in a country we had held as a dream destination since we were both teenagers.  We sat in the local cafe (we had to have the English breakfast) and just watched and took in the vibe of our new neighbourhood.  It felt great and we had given ourselves a month to settle into the flow of London while we waited for our container of furniture to arrive.

Arrival date, first rental flat and lucky us it was a dreamy, quirky little up-down with a garden in North London.  Welcome home!

It was fun to start decorating and fitting our belongings into a smaller space, making it work, making it feel like home, yet seeing it all in a new way.

We were settling into our adventure with enthusiasm.  And of course we found a real passion for ‘taking tea’ wherever we explored.  So many options and all the time in the world we kept saying.  We’re not on holiday, this is where we live now.  Yet it felt like the best holiday ever!

 

Embracing our new routine and lifestyle. Sunday morning reads & tea

New routines, new locals, new neighbours, new everything.  And even though we were in England, everything had different labels, brands and names.  Tiring work, so relaxing for tea and a read became our new norm!

 

 

 

Good start at living a Burnout-Free Lifestyle don’t you think?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

 

 

 

 

The Big Leap times 10 years!

From Here to There!

From Here

We just cannot believe it has been a full decade that we left our home and country.  Last evening we were sitting in the Vancouver International Airport saying ‘shouldn’t we be nervous, or sad, or something?’  We weren’t, we were just quietly waiting for our one-way ticket to our new destination in life.

Brave or stupid?  Just feels right.  We had sold our condo, money in the bank, said good-bye to family, friends, neighbours and clients (although some would stay with us over skype), all our belongings except our luggage was packed into a container enroute across Canada to board a boat heading east!

A big leap of faith was starting to really happen.

I vividly remember looking out the window of the plane as we took off, looking back at my neighbourhood (we climbed right over it) and thought…’I don’t know what will happen or how it will turn out, but I’m open to whatever transpires’.

A long sleep, a beautifully calm flight and we landed in our new homeland.  The customs woman looked at our passports and VISAs and said, ‘welcome home‘.  Just such a deeply happy moment we had both waited for for the last 4 decades.  You couldn’t wipe the smiles off our faces, even after the 10 hour flight and time-change.

To There

 

 

 

 

 

So it’s official.  We live in England and over the next 10 or so days in honour of these 10 years,  we’ll give you a peek at the life we set up and are living from then until now (warts, pups and all)!

In the meantime…..

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY TO THE BOTH OF US!

Living Your Values! | Simplify Life and Avoid Burnout

Living Your Values! | Living Your Values!

It’s a Big topic…Values, right up there alongside of Purpose and Meaning.  When I come up against one of these Big topics I try to bring it down to earth, and make it understandable, simple and actionable in an everyday sort of way.  Why?  ‘Cause…

Living your values is an ‘absolute must’ if you are Highly Sensitive.

Why is it so important for HSPs to know and live by their values?  Easy, values are the cornerstone of your true identity and character.  (As demonstrated by our fabulous feline fashionista Freddie who lives her values surrounded by nature, living peacefully with birds and squirrels alike, in the California mountains!)

Since values form part of the very foundation of who you are, not living in alignment with your values can result in not liking yourself and feeling like a fraud.  On the other hand, when you do something aligned with your values it just feels ‘right’!  When you live by your Values you…

Live from a place of Truth and Integrity.

Connect to your Real Self.

Live, love and work in a way that suits your Soul.

When you know your values you can articulate them clearly and communicate them through what you do and how you live, just like our Freddie.

Everyday values honour who you are and what you believe in.

So now you are thinking, “That all sounds grand, but how do I do that?”

Well, here’s what works for me.  I configure my values on two different levels, Guiding Values and Everyday Values.  My Guiding Values (the BIG ones that belong to my Higher Self) guide my very existence on the planet.  But BIG values can be intangible and hard to nail down, so it can be difficult to know how to act on them directly.  I look for ways to reflect Big values in how I live each and every day.  My Everyday Values are expressed through loving and caring for animals, gardening, teaching and inspiring women, communicating with kindness being generous and respectful, living in a soulful way and looking for meaning in all I do in life.  That I can do.

Looking at values in this two-tiered way helps to create a roadmap to what is, or is not, important in your life.  Values, both big and small, simplify life by guiding and informing choices, decisions, actions, work and relationships.

Knowing your values definitely clarifies and defines how you live your life, but it sometimes means having to make tough choices. The alternative, however, will eventually lead you down the road to burnout.  You will find yourself in the 4Ds of Burnout being disappointed, discouraged, disillusioned and eventually completely disheartened.  Not living your values leads to tension, dissonance, discontent, and even depression.  Ultimately, you might feel like you are selling your soul. (Been there, done that, not pretty!)

Knowing your values isn’t a ‘one-shot’ deal, you will need to continually review them, refine them, expand them and explore more deeply what they mean in your life.  When you do this you will find more and more creative  ways to express them in your daily life.  To help this process along here are a few questions that you can ask yourself now and in the future:

  • What are my most important Guiding Values?
  • Am I living my Values in a everyday kind of way?
  • Is what I am doing in my life serving my values?
  • Will this action move me closer to honouring my values or farther away?
  • What values must I honour or feel like a part of me dies?

Living so that you can express your values in an ordinary, everyday sort of way leads to a more powerful, ethical and fulfilling life.  Living out-of-sync with the very things that bring meaning into your life, your values, means never truly living a balanced, harmonious or purposeful life.  Big questions, big answers, don’t avoid them.

When you are Highly Sensitive living a good life means living
a ‘value driven’ life.

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

Crack open the books

What better time than summer to crack open the books you’ve longed to read all year long.  The days are long, the pace is summer-slow, and the time is yours to catch up on yourself.  

The Burnout Queens believe in the power of knowledge.  With our psychology degrees, our coaching expertise, and a specialty in womens’ issues, we wanted to share just a few books that will help you jump any life hurdles and open you up to even more personal growth. 

Here are a few of our ‘must reads’ to get you started.

  1. Excuses Begone! (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer)
  2. Be Happy.  (Robert Holden, Ph.D.)
  3. Quiet.   (Susan Cain)

 

Happy Reading darling. 

Dr Toby Silverton & Dr Bev McLagan  aka…The Burnout Queens xx

 

Hello from Lewes & London! 15 June 2019

Hello from London & Lewes

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Ah…nothing better than a birthday in the countryside just outside our town.  No need for a petsitter or train, just the little red car, sunshine and our National Trust member cards (love this membership).

First stop, lunch at Kingston’s ‘The Juggs’ pub established in 1400’s.  Sitting outside amongst all the flowers enjoying the sun, listening to the birds singing and horses clopping by, and enjoying great food, perfection.  It’s not often Dr T is so tall she has to duck through a pub door.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Next stop the village of Rodmell just down the road for a visit to the country home and gardens of Virginia Woolf.  She shared Monk’s House with her husband Leonard and it is literally out our back door.  The house is so divine and quirky it took our breath away.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Bohemian style cottages are an absolute ‘treat’ to both of us.  We instantly felt surrounded by calm and inspiring energy.  Every corner and every room held something wonderful to enjoy.  And we hadn’t even gone outside yet (but the views were enticing).

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens


Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

The Monk’s House gardens are vast:  lawns, lakes, bowling greens, orchards, sculptures, small flower beds, and many benches where you can sit and soak up the birdsong, scents and magnificent views.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens


Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

And then, the piece de resistance, the very thing we were so excited to see…right there at the back of the garden…Virginia Woolf’s writing cottage.  A simple but profound place where she wrote the novels we had both studied in our womens studies courses and loved to read.  In fact, we declare, every woman must read ‘A Room Of One’s Own’.  Who wouldn’t be inspired to write surrounded by gardens and an orchard just outside your door.  Standing in this little gem of literary inspiration was a ‘pinch us moment’ we could only have dreamt of decades ago.

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

 

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Village life in Rodmell is so beautiful it was hard to leave, but we will definitely be back again and again as the seasons change.  If you look close you can see  our little town in the distance (told you we lived close by).

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

Monks House-Virginia Woolf | The Burnout Queens

We arrived home to a surprise delivery, a huge box from Fortnum & Mason department store (someone has expensive and good taste).  The Burnout Pups got so excited, they love an unexpected box!  The gift?  A cannister of favourite tea and a fabulous biscuit tin that started to play Happy Birthday!!!  That sent the pups wildly over the top…thanks Auntie Sher you know how much you’re loved for this!

Fortnum & Masons| The Burnout Queens

Until we share our next adventure, and finish off the biscuits and tea, keep daytripping.

Love,

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Photography: Caroline True Photography | Illustration by Veronica Miller | Site Design: Kim McDaniels | Disclaimer