Are You Rusty At Being Happy? | An HSPs How-to On Happiness

An HSPs How-to On Happiness

There is no escaping it, there is a lot of real stuff to feel unhappy about these days.  There’s the whole global mess: conflicts, unemployment, terrorism, crime, economics, and, dare we forget, politics!  On an individual basis we all have challenges and worries to deal with: jobs, children, health, relationships, finances, and general life woes.  There is no denying it, there is definitely enough unhappiness to go around.  Being Highly Sensitive means we take it all to heart and some days it feels like a stretch to believe in ‘good’.  Now that’s gloomy, but I have good news…

You, my love, were born ready for happiness.

Now, I have to be honest and say that I am a convert to happiness.  When I was little I didn’t fit my family’s definition of happy.  I was quiet, shy, introverted, and creative.  I wasn’t a boisterous child, I was happiest with my nose in a book or daydreaming while I watched the clouds.  I grew up being told that I was ‘unhappy’ and I believed it.  So I was always kind of confused about happiness, what exactly was it and where could I get some?

Many of us who are Highly Sensitive feel the elusiveness of ‘happy’ and worry that they can never ‘find’ it.  Some get caught up “chasing” happiness hoping to find it in more money, new things, new jobs, new relationships, or physical perfection.  Others even find themselves chasing happiness down rabbit holes with alcohol, drugs or even medications.  Needless to say, you’re not going to find happiness there.  Still others sigh and give up believing it’s just not in the stars for them.

It’s only when you stop running after happiness that you can simply allow yourself to be happy.  Happiness is never found ‘out there’ it quietly resides deep within you, at the very centre of your being.

Happiness doesn’t come and go.

Happiness is always there.

The idea of happiness as a constant has some backup.  It has been suggested that we have a set-point for happiness, a thermostat if you like.  Regardless of what goes on in our life, regardless of our age, our basic level of happiness stays relatively constant.  Yup, we are happy whether we know it or not!  Even when life stuff happens and your ‘happy thermostat’ takes a hit, it will reset!

It’s about belief.  If we believe that being happy is a natural state we are more likely to allow ourselves to experience a sense of joy.  If you are ‘rusty’ at being happy you may have to make a conscious decision each and every day to experience happy.  You don’t have to work hard at it, so no groaning about having to add something else to your list, you simply have to remember that you were born to be happy.  Maybe it’s as simple as taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on the ‘happy moments’ you have had.

I’m not saying that you are going to ‘be’ happy all the time.  Goodness knows, being Highly Sensitive makes you more aware of the many not so happy things going on all around you and that has a definite effect on your psyche.  However, we can still view the world, make decisions, and act from a place of happiness just as much as we can from a place of fear.

Only you have the key to your unique style of happiness.  You can’t be wrong with happiness!  Just remember, happiness is not found in what you do, what you have, how you look, who you are with, or where you live.  Happiness is found in you.

Let happiness happen.

Video: If you see things differently than everyone else

The Burnout Queens Wisdom: If you see things differently than everyone else…does that make you wrong?

Do you quickly accept this is true?

You seeing things differently merely means you have a unique perspective not matched by others.

Whichever way you perceive it, embrace it.  It’s your highly sensitive style!

Talk It Up & Shout It Out! | Let people know just how great you are.

Are you good at acknowledging your accomplishments?  How about your strengths and gifts?  No?  Well, it’s time to get BOLD BOLD BOLD and honest about how great you are!  (Felt you cringe.)  You know, many of us were raised and trained to be modest; no bragging or being conceited allowed.   Not even in school where you are supposed to develop your gifts were you allowed to shout out the answer when you knew or rush to be first in line.

So guess that when it comes to being an adult it stands to reason that you are simply not comfortable blowing your own horn or proclaiming your own praises.  You have to ask,“Where does that get you?” Answer:  Absolutely nowhere.  Yes, it’s definitely time for a change.

It just doesn’t pay to be shy, and we mean that quite literally.  You are not going to get the promotions or the pay rises if you can’t talk-up or shout-out your accomplishments, achievements, abilities, capabilities, strengths, and greatness.  And we know, my dear, that you have all of those in abundance!  Taking centre stage may not be the most comfortable thing you do, but…well…get over it.

You are a Burnout Queen and it is time to own your throne!

(mind chatter: what if the other kids won’t like me? I’ll be left sitting all alone at recess…I meant coffee break…really I meant coffee break!) 

It’s a dilemma.  We want others to see us for who we are.  We want to be acknowledged for our hard work, our good results, our leadership, our great people skills, but we are also people pleasers and want others to ‘like’ us.

If we can’t stand up and proclaim loudly, boldly, confidently, how absolutely fabulous we are why do we expect others to notice or care?

Just the other day one of my fab VIP clients said she was ecstatic that she had finally learned to “shamelessly promote herself”.  (Those words are music to my ears!)  And the outcome?  One word… promotion!  Our message is getting out there.  Another Exec client ‘bragged’ to me that she had told her boss that “she was the expert” in her area!  You bet she is, time he knew it and valued it as well!

So, what has this got to do with burnout?  Easy peasy.

Burnout is hiding just around the corner if you continue pretending you are less than you are!

It’s all about your beliefs and your attitude.  AND, it’s about what you do.  Time to set yourself a goal to step over all the obstacles in your path that stop you from sharing your fabulous self with the world.  Go ahead and make a list of your strengths, talents, successes, and accomplishments.  Pop it right into your queenly handbag, backpack, diaper bag, or briefcase.  Next time you are on the verge of being modest, get your crown on straight, read your list, and step up to take your place!

You have some pretty amazing qualities.  You are great at what you do.  You have fabulous, outside of the box, ideas.  You are not afraid of hard work.  We know it, you know it.  Now let the rest of the world know it!  Time to talk it up and shout it out!

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