Womens Health | The Burnout Queens

Email skills up to snuff?

September 26, 2017

I love reading my Inc.com online alerts. This one just jumped out at me. “5 Email Mistakes That Make You Look Extremely Unprofessional”

As a highly sensitive entrepreneur I take great pride in how I write my emails. Do you? Well, according to this article you definitely should. As I read it I had reactions to it (as a highly sensitive entrepreneur of course and a psychologist as well) so here’s my opinion on a great article, starting with the first of Peter’s 5 points.

1 Unstructured Criticism: First I hate the word criticism it’s so unconstructive. I prefer feedback because people tend to listen when it’s called feedback. The article says don’t ‘blast negativity at someone through an email’. Yes, words can appear harsher in print without the tone or facial expressions of the messenger.

For us highly sensitive person biz types, we love ‘seeing and hearing’ face and tone movements and levels. It gives me much more scope for the meaning of the words and the overall sense of the message I am being given. This way I definitely know how the messenger feels. Ho-hum, I know this is not always possible so…

The Inc article suggests delivering your criticism in ‘the compliment sandwich’ way! This sounds nice, but when I taught communication 101 at university this type of sandwich while nicer didn’t always digest well, particularly when using words like “great job Sue, but….” I can guarantee that Sue didn’t dwell on the great job part of the message, but she probably ruminated over all the stuff that came after BUT.

(On a psychological note, the truth and reality of a message always comes after the BUT).

The Burnout Queens suggest using kinder words overall. There is no need to be negative. Instead, focus on the strength of the person’s skills and encourage them in your feedback to use their strengths to correct themselves and their work. “Sue I loved the energy and creativity at the beginning of your report. Is there some way you can end it on that same enthusiastic and creative note?” Sue may actually shine and be proud of the outcome.

Next post, I’ll give you the HSP scoop on one more Email Mistake in this article. In the meantime, why not try The Burnout Queens’ Strength Building Feedback Style for the next few days with your colleagues (wink: it works with the kids and yourself as well).

If you’ve been served the compliment sandwich, let us know and what it may you feel like.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

For the original Inc.com article click here

Too Exhausted for a Life Vision…think again!

March 24, 2017

The Burnout Queens know that most of our Highly Sensitive Women are tired, frazzled and pulled in every direction in their everyday lives. So to suggest one more thing for them to pack into their lives seems cruel. But…

A Life Vision is just what these doctors order for frazzled, fried and burned out women. We know that on any given day, plans can get interrupted, postponed and forgotten in all the details of ‘being and doing’ for everyone. THAT is precisely why having a Life Vision is so very important to cultivate at different stages of your life. When it all goes sideways, isn’t it better to be able to go back to the drawing board and know you have already drawn something to follow? When the chaos and busyness drop off, you can reconnect with yourself quickly and without much struggle.

Quickly and without struggle. Foreign words to busy women, but they can exist.

On our previous blog (Do You Have a Life Vision) we outlined two of our Ideas about Life Visioning to help you get started and not become overwhelmed. Today we’re offering another two for your consideration.

The Burnout Queens want you to stop struggling and actually think about what it is you want in your life. It’s easier to plan and achieve once the vision (the big picture) is clear. So try these:

Idea: Vision is different than purpose. However, the dreams you have for your life can reveal your purpose to you. Your life purpose is embedded in your life vision at the age of 12 or 20 or 50 or 80 or…

Idea: Dreams come from the realm of “what if” and having a vision or a dream requires truthfulness about who you are and what you want. Truthfulness in your vision does not have to lead to limitation. Vision is expansive, illusion is limiting. Vision lends itself to plans and goals, illusion is a dead end.

Come on Darling. Start dreaming and achieving a life you want to live for yourself. I bet you do it all the time for your family, your friends, your colleagues. It’s time for you to get the big picture for your life and step in!

(It may help to read our March 11th Feature Article: Seeking the Big Picture | Life Vision Means Living Burnout Free here:

Leave us a comment and share what your vision is. We’d love to hear.

With love, The Burnout Queens xx

Do You Have a Vision of Your Life?

March 23, 2017

“Without a life vision, you are adrift at sea, shifting directions as the weather changes, and hoping and wishing you will land somewhere tropical with drinks sporting little umbrellas!”

If this sounds like you, you need to read our Feature Article of March 11 (Seeking the Big Picture | Life Vision Means Living Burnout Free ) https://theburnoutqueens.com/seeking-big-picture-life-vision-means-living-burnout-free). We’ll help you take the exhaustion and guesswork out of trying to cultivate a life vision all on your own.

We have Four Ideas about Life Visioning to help you stay motivated instead of overwhelmed. Consider them as you approach the process of defining your Life Vision.

And word to the wise: Don’t make this difficult! Just start wondering and thinking for now.

Idea: You need an idea of your destination. You do not have to know the actual end point. You do not need to know all the stops along the way in order to move forward. You need the dream, you need the will, and you need faith.

Idea: The life vision you have can, and probably will, change with your life stages. What you dreamt about having or achieving in your life from the vantage point of your early 20s may be very different than the life vision you have from the viewpoint of your 40s. Neither were off track.

Of course, we have two other ideas for your life vision that may help keep you on track with dreaming about what you want for your life. They are in our Part 2 post tomorrow.

With Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Life Lessons from The Burnout Queens

February 22, 2017

If there is one life lesson The Burnout Queens have experienced over and over and now believe in 100% it is this…

TRUTH RISES!

Today, the verdict for the disappearance and murder of our friend and former neighbour , Helen Bailey and Boris, her beloved dog (friend to The Burnout Pups) brought Truth and Justice. We are so sad that this beautiful, intelligent, creative and lovely woman was taken in her prime. While she was with us she gave of herself, her life experience and her humourous take on grief.

Helen and Boris, you can now rest. The truth is known and you are with the angels.

Unplugging from social media and ‘going human’ for a day!

February 15, 2017

Can you? Would you dare? Is it possible for you to leave social media alone for one day and ‘go human’?

Did I just hear an almighty gasp!?!

Ask yourself this…. Will my social media ‘friends’ who I have never met (and probably never will) care if I have no post, tweet, pin or media footprint online for one day?

The Burnout Queens see people out and about having a good time, but instead of experiencing and focusing on the time they are having, they are focused on recording the moment to quickly upload to their thousands of friends. What is going on? Before digital and instant sharing, we just had fun and then ‘shared’ the memories with others after we returned home…not during! No wonder we aren’t quiet, reflective and truly connected any longer.

Here’s the challenge. Get out of your tech-mode and step into life-mode for one day. Speak to people instead of tweeting with them. Walk with friends and enjoy their company. Call and chat instead of sending an email. If you are on your own sit in a café and watch others. It just might spark a spontaneous chat with a fellow human, rather than your android (it even sounds strange writing this).

See you in 24 hours…we’re unplugging and going human!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx