Hello!  Happy January & Happy New Year to all you fabulous Burnout Queens!  We hope your year has gotten off to a great start.  You probably expected us to kick-off (that would be a high kick!) 2016 with a ‘rah- rah, you can change your life tomorrow’ article!  Far too ordinary, just not BOQ style.  We are going for the gusto; dig in and dig deep!  Let’s start the year with confidence, we say!  No, really, this article is all about confidence…the power of confidence.

So…what is the power of confidence?  Are you ready?  Ta Dah…

You own your confidence!
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Yes, it’s truly that simple!  Confidence comes from the inside; it is determined by you.  Confidence is about your beliefs, attitudes and experience.  It really isn’t about outside stuff like tasks, situations or relationships.

You, and only you, decide if you are a confident woman.
Now that’s powerful!

There are plenty of myths and misunderstandings about confidence out there.   Like this idea that confidence is a singular state of being; constant and steady, with no ebb and flow.  No wonder so many of us trip-up over confidence when we think of it as an either/or thing.  Confidence, you have it or you don’t.  Now that’s a myth for sure!

As long as you believe there is only one way to be confident you may make proclamations (cause that’s what Queens do!) like ‘I’m not confident’, ‘I don’t know how to be confident!’ or (we love this one) ‘I’ve lost my confidence’!!!  All of these statements are likely untrue and if we are to be completely frank with you darling a little ‘passe’!

Be assured, confidence doesn’t have to be complicated, not even when you are a Highly Sensitive and creative HSP (and as you well know us HSPs can complicate most anything we put our minds to!)  It’s just that confidence is multi-faceted like a brilliant diamond.  The experience of confidence is as varied and unique as you.

There is no one-size-fits-all feeling of confidence.

Confidence is situational.  You may be perfectly confident in one area of your life but quake in your ever-so-fashionable boots at the mere thought of another.  That’s perfectly normal!  (Yes, we use that term advisedly!)

Confidence has an ebb and flow.  Lots of things can affect your confidence, your mood, the company you are in, your physical state, even if you have slept poorly the night before.  Just ‘cause confidence can fluctuate doesn’t mean you don’t have it!

Confidence comes with doing.   This is vitally important to remember because confidence diminishes with avoiding.

Confidence can be ‘borrowed’ from one area of your life to enhance another.  Think about it…if you are good at xyz over there, you can borrow  skills or strengths or attitudes to hold you in good confidence in situation abc!

Confidence can be (how shall we put this?) improvised!  Even if you are feeling particularly shaky you can pull it out of a hat.  Remember when you were young and played pretend or dress-up?  Uh huh, who cares if you are all grown up, you can ‘play pretend’ with confidence.  I remember this Board Meeting that had me a nervous wreck, so I just dressed up (in my imagination) as Tina Turner and made my entrance.  Voila, instant over-the-top confidence (not to mention BIG hair)!  Here’s the hidden treasure in this one, shhhh, if you can pull it off with your imagination…you can actually do it.  So own it.  Strut your stuff!

Confidence grows when you are honest with yourself and others about your strengths, talents and capabilities.  This can be a little tricky for HSPs since we tend to under-estimate our abilities and our gifts, but the benefits are so fab it is well worth the discomfort of trying on this attitude.  It’s a perfect fit!

Self-honesty lets you be a learner, not-so-good at something or own being absolutely brilliant!!

So what are some other key misunderstandings about confidence…hmmm, thinking…got it!

Confidence is not something that you lose or carelessly misplace.  You lose contact lenses, you lose your keys, you lose your phone…you do not lose your confidence.  (So Darling please, no more ‘I’ve lost my confidence’!)

Confidence is not something someone else can take away from you!  The Power of Confidence is that YOU own it, it never belonged to anyone else…ever.  (So no more hiding behind that one!)

AND…get ready for it…for the record, you did not miss out on confidence by being in the wrong line when you were born.  (Nice try!)

Oh, and this is important, as a confident woman you do not have to be able to do anything and everything confidently the first time.  Do not fall into that trap!

Confidence comes from experiencing, succeeding and even failing.
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Here are a few more tid bits to think about when considering the power of  confidence…

If you have never done something before it stands to reason that you would have less confidence, but that doesn’t mean you have no confidence.  Increase your confidence by relating what you are about to do or enter into to similar situations or tasks you have been successful at in the past.  Then say to yourself…

I am confident!  I’ve had experiences like this before.

If you have done something and been a little less than perfect at it (what can we say, it happens) you might be a little ‘iffy’ about climbing on that learning curve again.  Relax, that’s why they call it a learning curve, you are allowed to be a learner!

Confidence increases with doing. Try again!
Give it a chance.

What if you have been doing the same thing over and over again and not succeeding or not even enjoying it?  You tell yourself  you have failed and so has your confidence!  Stop right there.  Get honest and ask yourself why you continue to do something you either aren’t any good at or you don’t like.  If something (or someone) is a bad fit, it’s simply a bad fit!   Darling, your confidence isn’t gone but you have to stop wearing the same old trainers and find some high heels you can proudly walk in!

When you don’t believe in your confidence you spend time and energy  fighting mental, emotional and even physical blocks.  You will feel heavy with anxiety, worry and trepidation because you are fighting shadows that aren’t real.

Stop hiding from the power of your confidence.  When you tell yourself that you don’t have confidence you end up avoiding and not experiencing something that you could be very very good at, brilliant at in fact!  That’s just not ‘ok’ with us!  So…

Get ready Burnout Queens…

Are you ready to own the Power of Confidence?

Are you ready to wear your confidence crown with pizzazz?

YOU ARE A CONFIDENT WOMAN!

We declare that with the utmost confidence!

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.