Dr Toby

Co-owner, The Burnout Queens

Save me from the flash of fast

vintage watch in pink

Save me from the flash of fast!

I’m feeling harassed by flash!  Why does everybody want me to rush?   Every single day something (or someone) is telling me to hurry.  No, I don’t want to open emails that tell me to “GO, quick, sign up NOW!”  I don’t want to hurry to save 10% by midnight.  AND, I most certainly don’t want to cook fast and frantically!

What’s with speeding through life these days?   It’s not like you actually accomplish a lot more.  I don’t want other people harassing me with their super- frenetic buzzed lifestyle.  Been there-done that, once upon a time and it was no fairytale let me tell you.  I remember the overwhelm, the exhaustion and the stress of it all.  Where did it get me?  Well far from achieving all my dreamt of success in super sonic time, I just burned out completely!

As I was imagining myself cooking fast and frantically I had to chuckle at the idea of stirring the sauce with the spoon held in my teeth, peeling the parsnips while I ‘ballerina-like’ shut the fridge door with a quick kick!  Now having said that, it is actually a possibility in my kitchen (you haven’t seen the size of the kitchen!) but really???  Who wants to?

For the record, I am actually known as a ‘speedy’ person, I’m constitutionally wired that way.  I have learned to exhale, savour the moment, and not get caught up in the whirl of our speed-obsessed culture.  Burnout once, burnout twice, burnout three plus times and the penny finally drops!  The thing is, it’s not the actual rushing, I’m good at fast.  It’s what I miss when life is that blur as you rush through it.  Am I really going to look back with fondness as I recall all the shopping or cleaning I managed to get done that day I said ‘no’ to a cuppa with a friend?

Sorry, my soul needs more than the rush of air as I fly by.  I don’t need my lunch in 15 minutes (or it’s free!); I don’t want to power walk so fast I miss the butterfly hovering in the sun; and I don’t need to buy poop bags by midnight so I can save 20p!

I know it’s a cliche, but life is too short to rush through it.  Now if you still believe you need to, I respect that.  I’ll see you at the finish line.

Love from:  The Burnout Queens xx

Burnout Proof Your Life! (Yawn, booooring!

burnout-proof-your-life

I started out this year by asking myself this one very simple question:

What am I committed to doing this year?

Now for me this question isn’t about the ‘doing’ bit, not the ‘to do’lists or juggling stuff, no, it is all about the commitment end of things. To me that means throwing myself heart and soul into whatever is on my viewmaster at that moment in time. It’s about how I live. It’s about being truthful with myself. It’s about overcoming that sneaky form of fear that undermines commitment. Mostly it’s about living enthusiastically, energetically and ‘spirit-fully’ (I don’t think that’s a real word, but it’s my word and I’m committing to it!)

As The Burnout Queens we get asked pretty regularly how we live so we don’t burnout and ‘make it look so easy’. Most people expect us to list-off the usual things: say No, set goals, make a plan, don’t take on too much, and live the ‘perfectly’ balanced life! (Wrong answer! SOUND THE LOUD BUZZER PLEASE!!! )

If you want to live your life without burnout you have to burnout proof your life.
(tweet this)

Now that has nothing to do with sorting the stuff in your life and everything to do with YOU. Ask yourself: Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Are you pursuing your dreams? Do you believe in yourself? Do you live consciously? Do you live with confidence? Do you understand the who, how, and why of your heart and soul? If you can’t say ‘yes’ to these questions, well that’s where burnout gets its footing.

Here’s some things to consider:

First, there is no such thing as work/life balance! You have been fed a myth with royal proportions!

Next, stress is a good thing, embrace it and give it style…your style! (What’s your other option? It’s not going to go away!)

Finally, being Highly Sensitive with your oh so fab combo of characteristics you are primed to be brave, bold and bigger than you ever thought possible. You are definitely not a shrinking violet!

There’s plenty more, but now we’re really talking burnout proofing your life. Oh we know, it’s not a stylish, trendy, or cutesy phrase is it? (We tried to think of some other ‘popsy’ way of saying it, but nothing worked.)

Burnout proof your life. It’s practical, to the point, and it completely describes what you get in the box!

Well that’s good because burnout proofing your life can mean the difference between success and (we won’t even whisper that other nasty word!). Most importantly it is very very doable! And, wow, these days, it is necessary if you don’t want to end up exhausted and feeling like you are drowning under the sheer volume of obligations, responsibilities, choices, decisions, problems, worries, fears for the future, and even all the fun and entertaining stuff you try to cram in. (Oh come on admit it, sometimes you make social plans and then end up moaning that you don’t have time or are just too tired to be social and would rather curl up with a cuppa! ) .

Now just cause burnout proofing your life sounds so darn practical, or dare we say, even dull (Never! The Burnout Queens don’t do dull!) it doesn’t mean it is. In fact, think opposite; it’s creative, inspiring, fun, fulfilling and expanding.

When you burnout proof your life you get to live spirit-fully and enthusiastically.

You will make a commitment to yourself at such a deep level that things just start making sense. You don’t even have to try to ‘find balance’ (which is like trying to find the holy grail!) your life naturally develops a rhythm and an equilibrium. You don’t have to worry about ‘finding your meaning and purpose’ (we heard that audible sigh of relief) you will be living it in small ways, big ways, inside and out. Now that’s meaningful and soulful.

So, that’s what I’m committing to this year, living another burnout free year, and that means living in full colour and being willing to defy ordinary. Oh, and have a bunch of adventures along the way. Are you ready to come along?

YES? (OK, cue the choir!!!)

Here’s one great tip:

You know it’s coming don’t you…don’t you? (Could I have been more obvious?)

Write down your answer to this one ever so important question…you could change your life with your answer!

What are you committed to doing this year?

Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!

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