We’ve said it before and we will say it again, burnout messes up everything.  Burnout messes up your work, your career, your health, your relationships, and it messes up your love life. (One more thing, shhhh, burnout definitely messes up your sex life!  I’m trying to be quiet here so we don’t get sp*mmed)!

Without a doubt,eventually burnout contaminates every aspect of living.  So how do we convince highly intelligent, sensitive, creative, and professional women that burnout is a seriously sexy topic to talk about?  Well, here at The Burnout Queens, we are not above appealing to your vanity!  Burnout definitely affects the way your body looks.  Here’s what one VIP client said:

“Burnout is like a rapid aging machine.  My body’s changed, I look like I’ve been through a war!   My hair’s falling out, my skin’s like paper, I have joint pain, and now I’m told that stress has thrown my body into early menopause.  I’m in my 40s and I feel old.”

Chances are, if you are burned-out you will not have the physical or mental energy to take care of yourself.   Exercise is out the window, you care less about what you eat which means you are probably gaining or losing weight.  You may be drinking more wine or smoking more ‘just to relax’.  Both these coping habits are going to affect how you look (premature aging causes wrinkles and saggy skin) and how you feel.  Then there is the exhaustion to deal with.  Many times women have told me that they fell into bed ‘too exhausted’ to bother washing their makeup off.  Definitely not sexy to wake up the next morning with mascara racoon eyes and dull grimey skin!  You don’t have the energy to get that haircut so desperately needed, don’t have the time to get clean underwear, and who cares if you shave your legs just wear tights another day!   So many things, big and small make us feel awful about our physical self and, yes, distinctly un-sexy when burned-out.

Ok, so what about burnout and sex?  What sex?  It’s as easy as that.  Being too exhausted, having too many headaches (legit ones), muscle aches and pains, indigestion, while not sleeping (which doesn’t mean middle of the night parties, if you know what I mean), or falling asleep mid-sentence, all adds up to… “You want what!” 

Burnout is accompanied by so many stress symptoms we’ve lost count, but some are exclusive to our fabulous female bodies thanks to our unique physiology.  We can include:

• increased PMS tension
• pre-menstrual headache syndrome
• loss of menstruation
• roller coaster hormones
• painful sexual intercourse (vaginismus)
• pelvic pain
• postpartum depression
• menopausal ‘blues’
• infertility
• inhibited sexual arousal
• lowered sex drive

Burnout can cause all of this and more.  Burnout means feeling absolutely falling-down exhausted, can’t think your way out of a paper bag, being irritable and impatient, wanting everyone to leave you alone, physically not feeling like being touched, and socially feeling very unsociable!  Uh, we hate to say it, but that adds up to “Bye-bye sex”.

Wouldn’t you know it though, sex is one thing that can actually make you feel physically and emotionally better!  You see, certain neurohormones boost dopamine which contributes to our feelings of wellbeing and pleasure.  It’s also been connected with increased motivation, increased energy and the desire to be with others.  Lots of happy brain chemicals, endorphins, are released when you fall in love, or lust, or have sex!  They make you feel happy, relaxed, even giddy, like the world is your oyster (I’m not sure if oysters help burnout but they apparently do help sex-drive).

We know, we know, just the thought of having to put out energy for anything or anybody is beyond contemplation at times, but intimate touching can provide complete relaxation, and you know, the ‘big kaboom’, is a great anti-aging solution  (which you will need if you keep going to bed with your makeup on!).

Here’s one great tip:

Take care of your body and you will also nurture your spirit.  Make room for physical intimacy in your life, with a partner or on your own. Touch, gentle caring touch, can be a source of relaxation and a physical release of tension.

Until next time, grab life by the crown!