burnout

What is burnout; information and understanding of the experience of burning out

A gift of love from The Burnout Queens

On today of all days, The Burnout Queens want to share the love we send to our members inside The Realm!  Each week they receive a special postcard that encourages them to cultivate a better life.  And we don’t stop there, they get their weekly assignment to put that concept to good use.   Change is happening in such a beautiful way for these women, we just thought today we would reach out to all our community to share this special postcard.

Here’s your copy and if you find it enriching we hope it will entice you to join us.  When you register you immediately join a creative group of  women from Germany, New Zealand, Australia, United Kingdom, United States, Canada and Brazil, all waiting to welcome you to The Realm!  Join us by clicking here:  The Realm!

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Hello Darlings!

Are you ready to fall in love with yourself?  Can you find all your little quirky imperfections endearing?  Will you hang on your every word with respect and interest, be absorbed in your dreams, laugh at your own jokes and treat yourself with the same gentleness you would treat another love?

When you fall in love with yourself you open your heart, you listen to your soul and you feel connected to who you truly are.  Begin this journey today.  Don’t wait to fall in love with yourself ‘if or when’ and definitely don’t wait till Monday to start!

Fall in love with who you are now and not who you would like to be…sometime…when you have time.

Here’s your weekly assignment:

Write yourself a love note, what you admire in yourself, what you love about your looks, your life, your being. How you look forward to your relationship growing and deepening.

Be special to yourself: buy yourself chocolates or your favourite flowers or make your favourite breakfast to leisurely enjoy.  Have a bubble bath and love your body.  Take yourself to the theatre, read poetry or listen to music that makes your soul soar…or dance!

Draw a Heart, then write your name in it. Paste it on your mirror and then every morning this week go ahead and say it,

“I’m falling in love with you!”

Love, The Burnout Queen xx

Well did you love our special love note?   Of course, our members will be sharing their hearts and success inside The Realm in our private facebook group.  Can’t wait to see all the photos with creative ‘hearts on the mirrors’  that I know they will share.

We’ll be sharing our hearts, won’t you join us too?  (Click here to receive instant membership).   Joining The Realm will make your feel special, supported and celebrated by all our members who are actively and I might add impressively enriching their lives.

See you inside and Happy Valentine’s Day from The Burnout Queens xx

Divine Madness | Love Your Work!

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The Burnout Queens love Love; big Love, small Love, puppy Love!  Of course we are talking about Love today, check the date!  (There are times we love to be predictable!)  In past years we’ve ‘done’ Love (with a capital L), we’ve definitely talked about self-love and yes we have even explored the steamy kind, but love of work, loving what you do, is not necessarily the dot that gets connected to hearts and flowers.

Plato referred to love as ‘divine madness’ and Freud believed that two of the most important aspects of life were love and work.  So is it madness to believe you need to love your work to be healthy and happy?  The Burnout Queens don’t think so!

We have a very real need to love what we do… our work, the product, our art, our contribution and our success.
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If we connect love with work we should expect big moments of passion, true calling, momentous insights, or at least a big ‘kissy fest’ with our colleagues all the time…right?   Not necessarily so.

It can be a challenge to notice signs, big or small, of the kind of love that means your work is engaging your soul.  These signs often hide in the everyday, the mundane, the tedious and the commonplace.  So what exactly are you looking for?

Well, when you work with mindfulness you begin to identify signs of loving what you do: a moment of pride for a well done job; a rush of warmth, understanding or caring toward a co-worker;  the comfortable familiarity of an everyday task; the old books on the shelves in the boardroom; taking a moment to ‘see’ the painting you love on your office wall, the view outside your window; knowing you are doing ‘good’ work or providing for your life and family.

Here are some moments of love in my work:

black-heart15Typing this draft with my soul-dog on my lap (not great for my posture but fab for my heart),
black-heart15Receiving a ‘Hello here’s what I’m up to!’ from a long-ago (but never forgotten) client,
black-heart15Having an ‘ah hah moment’ when two seemingly diverse ideas collide and become something new...BIG LOVE!
black-heart15Writing that flows from the heart.
black-heart15A hot cup of tea and biscuit on the corner of my desk.
black-heart15Being ‘told’ to take a break by a ball dropped on my foot or thrown down the stairwell followed by barking!
black-heart15Receiving baby pictures, pet pictures, family pictures from clients new and old.
black-heart15Taking a brain-break by editing something already written (ah relax).
black-heart15Dropping a quick “Thinking of you” to a client for no reason other than to connect.
black-heart15Hearing the birds in the tree outside my window.
black-heart15Looking up to see the picture of Dad on my bookshelf.
black-heart15Stopping to read the Burnout Queens Desiderata (You mean you haven’t got one? Join the Realm Darlings!)

Let’s be honest we can all lose the love of our work from time to time! 

There will be days you don’t feel like showing up, but don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you don’t love what you do!

Stress, pressures, deadlines, dreaded tasks, the evil boss or conniving colleague, or just the tedium of the everyday can trick even the most enlightened and sensitive amongst us into missing (or possibly avoiding or ignoring) many opportunities to connect with the love of what you do.

In the BIG picture we all want to be happy at work.  We want our work to be engaging, pleasurable and fun at times.  We truly want to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the wellbeing of others in the world.  That sense of contributing is love personified.

Yes there are times when we drag ourselves ‘to the office’ moaning, but there are other times when maybe life is in turnoil that work becomes a place of refuge, a sanctuary.  Just the other day a client whose world has been turned upside down said it so clearly, “Thank goodness for my work, it’s keeping me sane!”  There was a time that my office became my retreat, my haven of peace, from family illness, crises and loss.  It was physically a peaceful and serene place, I loved my clients, and when ‘in session’ I was unavailable to the outside world!  What’s not to love.

Even if you aren’t currently in your ideal job or career, allow yourself to love aspects of what you are doing.

Finding love for what you do in the present doesn’t mean you can’t dream about the future and embrace change when it comes.
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Love for your work, in whatever nooks and crannies you can find it, opens up your imagination, your creativity and awakens your soul.

Being a highly sensitive woman means you were delightfully designed to find work you love but first you have to find love in your work. 

 

From our hearts to yours…Happy Valentines Day!

 

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

Giving Is Simply Fun

This last Christmas, The Burnout Queens decided to add a little sparkle to girls’ and womens’ lives.  We decided it’s time to put our Christmas Chaos Campaign into action.

Ladies who read us…and get our philosophy…were asked to purchase our It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Chaos video and learn how to create delight in the holidays, instead of dread!   As an incentive we decided to send all the proceeds…yes 100% +…to WaterAid to help young girls get an education rather than walking all day to gather water for their village.  The purchase + our donation match + UK governments match.

Well…proud to say that we got some lovely hearted women on board and we raised £50.00 for WaterAid.  So like all good women after Christmas….we shopped!  Here’s what we got with your help, our help and the government’s help:  a bag or 2 of cement, enough to build the foundations of a village loo!!

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And because a woman can’t just stop at bags, we thought a little red toolkit was the perfect accessory.  This red toolkit will fix the water supplies in not 1, but 10 villages. 

ShopForLife_CardVisuals_3_Toolkit_Cover_grandeNow that’s what I call a shopping spree.  It was fantastically fun to know that your £2 expanded to give young girls the chance to open a book or two and help her village for the future in a different and important way.

And we hope that those of you who helped in this global way, found some fun and merriment in the suggestions we gave on our latest edition of It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chaos.

 

Till next year’s campaign kicks off with another offering.  Thanks from us to all our Burnout Queen friends.  Your generosity is uplifting.

With love, The Burnout Queens xx

 

Not My Responsibility!

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Twice this week clients, professional HSP working women, have wanted my opinion about situations that had come up at work and the common denominator…is this my responsibility?

Responsibility is tricky for us highly sensitive (dare I say, oh sure why not since I’m one too!) perfectionistic, over-achieving, and highly ethical and responsible women!   You see we have been raised and trained to take responsibility for everything and anything whether it actually is our responsibility or not!  And we step up and then we stew about it.  Two scenarios:

First one:  Client is aware that a colleague is partaking in some pretty unethical behaviour.  My client had alerted the owners of the company about this possibility when they hired this other worker – it wasn’t a suggestion to not hire them just to keep an eye on them.  Over and over again my client tried to raise the red flag, which was part of her original consultancy responsibility but wasn’t really listened to by the powers that be.  This time my client directly addressed the situation with the person who was carrying out this questionable behaviour to be met with a complete ‘who cares!’ attitude.  So now she was wondering do I go to ‘the bosses’ with it?  Lots of you are probably saying, ‘of course!’ (probably because you are also  HSPs full of integrity).

My response…not your responsibility any longer, let it go.  They didn’t listen to you before, they are not going to listen now.  Take yourself off the hook and don’t enter a contentious situation.

Second situation:  Budget!  My client, a financial exec, brings forward an invoice of varying tech costs with a whole list of reasons why some should be excluded from these tech consultants.  Bosses attitude is “just pay it!”  But, but, but…

My response…not your company, his company, you did your job, you raised the issue, you showed him the evidence…pay it, it’s his money! 

I’ll probably have lots of people disagreeing with me, even I disagree with me sometimes! However, I also know that our proclivity to take 150% responsibility for things that aren’t ultimately our responsibility gets us into trouble.

Take the steps you need to feel like you can look at yourself in the mirror, know you have done your best, then let it go. You can’t be right, or listened to, all the time.  Darn!

Love, Dr Toby (The Burnout Queens)) xx

Late For An Important Date?

vintage watch in pinkIf you are a woman always struggling to show up on time, this is for you.

We know you are juggling so many balls in the air that it’s often hard to fit everything into your day.  Quite often you may find yourself running late.  More often you overbook your day because you are busy running around for everyone else in your life (in which case, we need to talk).  You may even want to re-acquaint yourself with Dr B’s post September 10th, 2015 about her client’s struggle with time.

But fear not dear one, The Burnout Queens have a Contingency System designed for you.  Between your bookings, jobs, school run, clients, meetings, and any blank space in your diary think…

20   30   40   50  or  60 MINUTE INTERVALS

The result?  Travel time, shifting gears, grabbing lunch, finding your breath…all sorted.  Who knows, you may even have time for a quiet cuppa and cake (a Burnout Queens must-do)!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx 

 

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