symptoms of burnout | The Burnout Queens

Rest for the Soul

September 28, 2016

We awoke to a great new research study being talked about on BBC Breakfast earlier this week. It’s called The Anatomy of Rest and perhaps you’ve heard about it by now. If not, let us share some of the findings with you.

We are talking about REST, which is not to be confused with Sleep. There has been plenty of research conducted on sleep patterns, amount of sleep, sleep deprivation, etc, etc, etc. For the first time there is a study on rest. 18,000 people from 134 countries took a Rest Test by BBC Radio 4 and Wellcome Collection’s researchers Hubbub. What do you think they found?

The findings are bang on with what we at The Burnout Queens and all our community of highly sensitive and exhausted women know all too well. We need and want more rest!

2/3 of the people in this study said they wanted more rest. When asked what would rest look like, it came in different forms, everything from sleeping, sipping coffee, sitting in front of the TV and doing ultramarathons. The top ‘rest activity’ came as a surprise to the research team… Reading. The other top activities were ‘being in nature’, music and being alone. It seems the majority of us need and want regular solitude to rest and restore ourselves.

So why don’t we rest more? The report showed we feel guilty when we squeeze out time for ourselves. I don’t think this is surprising to women. We feel selfish and self-centred (which means our guilt and stress rises) when we take time away from everything and everybody else in our lives to have a quiet moment for us. Women are already living in a state of exhaustion and don’t think they have the ‘time’ to recoup. We have to turn that notion on it’s head. The ultimate gift we can give ourselves is to consciously and deliberately create an inner calm that will make us more resilient to the outside world.

Now here’s the easy part. The Burnout Queens have designed a fast, simple and extremely effective group of 21audios and videos that help you create that inner calm and resilience needed in your everyday life. Quiet the Buzz of Everyday Life…creating calm for the Highly Sensitive Woman can be done anywhere, anytime; walking, shopping, waiting for the kids, on your break, waiting for your latte. Promise.

Why not see for yourself and solve the dilemma of rest, calm and quiet within yourself?!? Watch our video about Quiet the Buzz and get yourself started now

Embrace the calm!

With love, The Burnout Queens

Quirky doesn’t mean crazy!

August 18, 2016

This page on our website (you’ve been to our website right!) gets people breathing a sigh of relief every time they read it!

If you’ve heard you are ‘too’ something all your life, you might want to check out our Top 14 ‘too’ words that sum up being highly sensitive.

Have a read and remember, it doesn’t make you crazy…just sort of quirky.

Top 14 “YOU’RE TOO” phrases Highly Sensitive People hear!

‘too’ emotional
‘too’ shy
‘too’ intense
‘too’ serious
‘too’ moody
‘too’ artsy
‘too’ idealistic
‘too’ neurotic

There are more obviously but it all ends with You’re Just Too Sensitive!

Have you heard these ‘too’ words all your life? They don’t make you crazy, although we bet you have felt like you were every time you heard them. No, these just mean you are a HSP – Highly Sensitive Person.

At the Burnout Queens we celebrate being Highly Sensitive! We’re HSPs ourselves, and we are No shrinking violets! Being an HSP means you are strong, bold, creative, quirky, and much more. Find out what it really means to be highly sensitive and how it affects everything from your identity to your relationships.

Highly Sensitive

The #1 feedback on this page is…”thank you, I thought I was just crazy all my life!” Nectar to our ears!

Embrace the True You! The Burnout Queens xx

I Work Differently Now and Love It!

August 17, 2016

Over the last months we have been working, working, working on new programmes, by choice…but have to say…working ‘overtime’ certainly doesn’t resemble the past. Then it was 18 hour days; racing from office, to hospital, to university, to private practice, then home quickly to look after ill cats and aging parents. It was madness but necessary and unavoidable.

On the contrary, these days work often starts with a quiet dog walk to the park, a breakfast looking out the roof terrace at the English Channel, a walk to the local for bread and dinner dessert, a play time with dogs, and afternoon tea break to clear the head.

Sounds too good to be true? Sometimes it feels it! After living a life of unrelenting stress and strain and driving ourselves into the ground (literally) this new life of enlightened balance (aka burnout-free lifestyle) makes our hearts sing!

And that’s blissful!

Can you make a few changes to your usual routine to make life more enjoyable?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

My Reality, Your Reality, Our Reality

June 23, 2016

We all have a way of looking at things in our life. It’s called perspective. There’s nothing wrong with having your own perspective on things, it is after all how your eyes see the world…your reality.

Others see the world, (their reality) through their own eyes and perspective. We can all look at the exact same thing and see it very differently, depending on our view. One is neither right, nor wrong, it simply is!

Too often in my therapy practice I would hear couples and individuals question their own perspectives, as if their reality was ‘wrong’ and it needed to be put ‘right’. Not so. What we need to learn is the tolerance of differences that gives breathing room for all our personal realities.

My truth may not be your truth…but it is still Truth.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

The Infamous HSP Tennis Game

May 24, 2016

Highly Sensitive Women are often inwardly analytic (we can’t help ourselves), but sometimes it doesn’t work in our favour. In fact, it backfires on us and we are left wondering “how the heck does this keep happening?”

I’ll use this cute, manipulative little face from The Burnout Pup as a case in point (stick with me, my mind is strangely creative). She’s waiting for her dinner and begging in her very cute way. It’s hard to ignore, but I don’t want to give into her demands when it’s too early for her dinner (guilty mummy moment). How can I say ‘no’ to that face? I feel like a meany and then I think (in HSP analysing mode now) why am I feeling like I should change the rules for her…perhaps I’m being too harsh… maybe she’s really hungry… why am I being so unreasonable… no really I should stay strong. On and on the circle of reasoning and guilt goes, till I’m tired and confused from thinking.

Wait a minute now…this sound like many of my clients (HSP creative mind thinking in loop-de-loops)! They want to stand firm in their opinion, the trouble is when they do, the other person blames or criticises, attacks their character! So my clients end up taking on the responsibility and guilt that isn’t theirs to begin with. They end up feeling so hurt, confused, guilty and lost. “Why is this always my fault” they ask.

Here are 6 accusations that signal it’s someone else’s issue, not yours!

Why can’t you just go with the flow.
Why do you always have to be unreasonable.
Why can’t you be more flexible.
What’s wrong with you that you can never let this go.
You’re always such a control freak.
This isn’t about you, you know.

These are the kind of accusations that send reasonable HSW’s into immediate turmoil upset and analysis. We waffle back and forth, arguing silently with ourselves in an attempt to understand why a conversation and opinion went so sideways and how we ended up feeling guilty and responsible for it.

Stop analysing this. It’s rarely something to feel guilty or responsible for. It’s not yours after all. It’s never been yours! As one wise woman told me (that would be Dr T) “you aren’t even in it!”

Saying no, or contradicting somehow makes others point the finger in our direction, rather than admitting they just don’t like our answer.

So here’s the advice I tell my HSW clients. Think of a back and forth conversation as a back and forth tennis game. If the other side hits the ball to your side of the court and somehow you know that ball has changed colour mid-return or it should have been a foul, then shoot it back across the net where it came from and where it belongs. Don’t let it drop and remain on your side of the court.

If that tennis ball changed colour, you didn’t do it.

If that tennis ball went offside, you didn’t do it.

If you were accused of the sun being in your opponent’s eyes, you didn’t do it!

Do you get the picture?

Yes! Then repeat after me…

this is ‘not’ my responsibility…

this is ‘not’ my problem…

this is ‘not’ about me.

Long-winded story, but it occured to me while I was looking at cutesy pup trying her best to make me change my ways (and feel sorry for her in the mix). I’m not the one trying to sneak dinner early! Nope, this is ‘not’ about me!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx