The experience of living as a highly sensitive woman in a noisy, busy and unrelenting world
It’s been so mild here in southern England that we were lulled into thinking spring was just around the corner. As I sit here writing to you winter just snuck up and settled in with a bang. Aptly named ‘the beast from the east’ it is bitterly cold, train passengers and motorists are stranded en route, and we have 10 severe weather warnings posted (Canada we are geographically as big in size as the province of B.C.) so the army and tractors are pitching in to rescue people.
What does this mean for The Burnout Queens and The Burnout Pups? Let’s just say we are getting a lot of work done, drinking pots and pots of tea, baking and the pups (?) well, they are by our side sleeping cosily on their blankets. These are the times we know we made a smart decision to work from home so we don’t have to brave the elements anymore. Good planning The Burnout Queens!!!!!!
Whether you’re in the freeze, still stuck on the motorway or train, or warm in front of the fire, we hope this edition of Hello brings a bit of beauty and entertainment to you. For those elsewhere in the world experiencing milder ‘climes’ enjoy as well.
Early February we bought a car (Dr B passed her UK drive test) so we bundled up the Burnout Pups and drove across town to Priory Park site of a 9th Century monastery. Who walks their dogs amongst ruins built between 1078 and 1082 during the reign of Cluniac pope Gregory VII? We do! It’s fabulous and all four of us were excited to walk and learn as we went. A definite walkie route is unanimously established (more in an upcoming extra edition of Hello). Arrived home to two valentine’s day cards from Dog’s Trust pups to finish the outing properly.
Then came the first snowfall (thought we have dodged this moving from Canada, but no). The street looked bleak, but I must admit the castle still looked pretty stunning, wouldn’t you agree?
Now the ‘beast from the east’ makes the pups hesitate before being taken outdoors for breaks. Who wouldn’t if you had short legs, were slung low to the cold pavement and get hypothermia quickly! The pleading eyes are a killer, but the youngest gets excited to romp, especially when wearing her pink fleece sweater and matching neck scarf (she insists wearing it over her head like The Queen). We swore we would never be these kind of dog owners, but…guilty!
Hope still springs eternal on market day with these inspirations. And we admit there is always room in the freezer for a Victoria Sponge to get us through cold evenings. However, this Valentine’s cake was too glorious to pass up (at least for a photo op).
Now that we have a car (aka ‘Flash’) you can bet we’ll be going further afield to explore, walk and just enjoy this beautiful countryside we live in. Don’t worry you’ll have a front row seat for all our journeys…promise.
Until next month, get a good winter’s rest like this guy does. This is his version of mindfulness… going, going, GONE!
Love from all of us!
The Burnout Queens Wisdom: A question can create a moment of knowing. If you are feeling stuck or confused don’t look for an answer look for a question.
There is no escaping it, there is a lot of real stuff to feel unhappy about these days. There’s the whole global mess: conflicts, unemployment, terrorism, crime, economics, and, dare we forget, politics! On an individual basis we all have challenges and worries to deal with: jobs, children, health, relationships, finances, and general life woes. There is no denying it, there is definitely enough unhappiness to go around. Being Highly Sensitive means we take it all to heart and some days it feels like a stretch to believe in ‘good’. Now that’s gloomy, but I have good news…
You, my love, were born ready for happiness.
Now, I have to be honest and say that I am a convert to happiness. When I was little I didn’t fit my family’s definition of happy. I was quiet, shy, introverted, and creative. I wasn’t a boisterous child, I was happiest with my nose in a book or daydreaming while I watched the clouds. I grew up being told that I was ‘unhappy’ and I believed it. So I was always kind of confused about happiness, what exactly was it and where could I get some?
Many of us who are Highly Sensitive feel the elusiveness of ‘happy’ and worry that they can never ‘find’ it. Some get caught up “chasing” happiness hoping to find it in more money, new things, new jobs, new relationships, or physical perfection. Others even find themselves chasing happiness down rabbit holes with alcohol, drugs or even medications. Needless to say, you’re not going to find happiness there. Still others sigh and give up believing it’s just not in the stars for them.
It’s only when you stop running after happiness that you can simply allow yourself to be happy. Happiness is never found ‘out there’ it quietly resides deep within you, at the very centre of your being.
Happiness doesn’t come and go.
Happiness is always there.
The idea of happiness as a constant has some backup. It has been suggested that we have a set-point for happiness, a thermostat if you like. Regardless of what goes on in our life, regardless of our age, our basic level of happiness stays relatively constant. Yup, we are happy whether we know it or not! Even when life stuff happens and your ‘happy thermostat’ takes a hit, it will reset!
It’s about belief. If we believe that being happy is a natural state we are more likely to allow ourselves to experience a sense of joy. If you are ‘rusty’ at being happy you may have to make a conscious decision each and every day to experience happy. You don’t have to work hard at it, so no groaning about having to add something else to your list, you simply have to remember that you were born to be happy. Maybe it’s as simple as taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on the ‘happy moments’ you have had.
I’m not saying that you are going to ‘be’ happy all the time. Goodness knows, being Highly Sensitive makes you more aware of the many not so happy things going on all around you and that has a definite effect on your psyche. However, we can still view the world, make decisions, and act from a place of happiness just as much as we can from a place of fear.
Only you have the key to your unique style of happiness. You can’t be wrong with happiness! Just remember, happiness is not found in what you do, what you have, how you look, who you are with, or where you live. Happiness is found in you.
Let happiness happen.
The Burnout Queens Wisdom: If you see things differently than everyone else…does that make you wrong?
Do you quickly accept this is true?
You seeing things differently merely means you have a unique perspective not matched by others.
Whichever way you perceive it, embrace it. It’s your highly sensitive style!