Burnout-Free Lifestyle | The Burnout Queens

Hello from Brighton & London!: 6 August 2016

August 6, 2016

Well Darlings, July came and went without any fuss or bother! Really, the Burnout Queens’ usual trips were cancelled due to the train strikes, slowdowns, overcrowding, and track fires! So we stayed seaside.

Although we love the ‘buzz’ of London, staying local and low-key nurtures the quiet-seeking side of our Highly Sensitive souls.

We’ve been keeping our noses deep down in work all month, so much so we’re growing roots! (humour inspired by local nature). Don’t worry, the fruits of our labour will blossom shortly. (That’s the last nature pun, promise!)

We do practice what we preach sometimes! The Burnout Queens always take nourishment when and where we can grab it, especially on the roof terrace among the flowers in the blazing sun.

It’s never all work, no play for us. We will stop and take in the latest West End theatre production when it arrives. It’s a fab way to leave work behind for a few hours. This month it was ‘After Miss Julie’ a dark drama with actress Helen George (Call the Midwife).

And everything is more exciting under a full moon, especially when it hovers over The Channel right outside our terrace!

We’re looking ahead to a special stay-cation (relatives coming to stay) with day trips to new and never-before-seen villages and castles along the coastline. Can’t wait (fingers crossed the trains aren’t striking or we’ll be forced to shop, shop, shop and have lots and lots of tea and cake).

Till next month from the coastal seaside and London…or who knows where (complete with pictures) enjoy your month.

Love,

PS: The Realm! Our global women’s club is growing fast and our reach is truly worldwide (although there are a few corners on the map we have yet to welcome),so count yourself in too. Register for your instant membership here and start Defying your Ordinary https://theburnoutqueens.com/the-realm/

Women, Bodies & Baggage

June 15, 2016

Women’s bodies come with a full set of baggage. We worry about how fat or thin, tight or saggy, tall or short, young or old, beautiful or ugly we are.

It all comes down to our bodies and the relationship we have with it. Whether it’s loving or spiteful we are stuck with it. It is something we are born with and changes with or without our permission over a lifetime. It changes, it grows, it develops, it moves, it gets strong, it gets weak and all manner of things in-between.

So how do you treat this ‘thing’ that holds you up and moves you through the world. Perhaps because of that very fact alone we should learn to like it more.

Here are 8 ways you can take good care of that ‘thing’ you already love, are getting to love or have hated for years.

Like her more by not comparing her to another woman
Feed and water her regularly
Put lotion on her and let her glow
Massage her to help her move with ease
Take her for a walk, bike ride, swim
Sit her down
Let her sleep
Limit the stress and strain you put her under

Showing respect for your body will help you respect your Self and THAT darling, results in you becoming the radiant Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected you were truly meant to be.

With Love, The Burnout Queens xx

My Boss Bunked Off Work!

June 9, 2016

I have choice at my company. It’s a flexible workplace so if it’s sunny out I can go out and enjoy my day with a mind to work on another day.

Deciding is often easier because I ask the same questions my boss asks. Don’t ask what you should do, but what you want to do.

Decision made.. 2 bosses (hey because I’m one) bunked off work the other day and were found browsing the North Laines (well one had a hair appointment so we made a morning of it). We both love working this way. Then we were back in the afternoon ready to write and create.

This is truly an example of how to ‘think aside’. When we are away from the desk, the minds start to expand and think in a different way. Out of the confines of the office (even if they are beautiful) allows thoughts to come more naturally.

This kind of day…doing something I want…definitely gets the creative juices going (including this post) over coffee and jam doughnuts.

How can you create a ‘thinking aside’ moment in your work life that suits you and your company?

Love, The Burnout Queens, xx

My BFF ‘Denial’ Made Me Burn Out…so we fell out!

June 6, 2016

Meet my BFF Denial. She has helped me in so many ways throughout my life, both personally and in my business. I could always count on Denial to get me through any busy-ness or crisis. We were so close she knew what I wanted before I did! Now that’s friendship (or so I thought)!

It turns out that having a friend like Denial on my side was my ticket to becoming a reluctant Burnout Queen!

Denial was by my side when I was building my psychology practice. In a year the business grew to six-figures and our expertise was sought after! Fabulous, but it came with a price. When I was working day and night, over-stretched and over-stressed with all the hours of patients, meetings, on top of my PhD research, Denial encouraged me to:

ignore my body’s aches and pains,
keep my head down and keep going
ignore the urge to take a break and ‘grab’ dinner
stay focused on completing the task, project, obligation no matter what.

All I wanted to do was give in. I felt weak; I just needed to go home and get some sleep. Denial was my rock-solid support. She urged me to dig in, work harder, push through and not lift my head until it was done. I was exhausted and dazed but thanks to her support and driving force, deadlines were met and success secured!

Denial was there for me again when I was feeling unwell with heart palpitations, migraines and serious injuries after a major car accident. She would whisper in my ear, “You don’t have time to be sick. You’ve got to keep going for everybody.” She kept me going…visiting my Dad in hospital, making sure my elderly Mum had groceries, keeping the house perfectly clean, and never missing a day of work. She was absolutely right, there was no time for my own health.

Just keep going, dig deeper, plod on girlfriend!

What a friend. Denial secured my reputation as kind, helpful and always there for everyone, (just the way my Mother had taught me) to my detriment.

Then one day, out of the blue (or so I thought), I fell asleep on the kitchen floor while feeding the cat. Four hours later, with the cat looking bemused at me from his vantage point, my BFF Denial was nowhere to be found! She had thrown me under the bus! She had become someone else’s BFF in an instant.

Without Denial, I had no voice to tell me to ignore myself; no cheerleader to give me the push to keep going. I wanted to run away. Without Denial by my side my world suddenly seemed insurmountable. I couldn’t escape the facts anymore as I began to see the truth of how burnt-out I was!

Physically, I didn’t feel well.
I was so exhausted I didn’t want to face another day.
I was snippy & snappy with everyone who wanted something from me (Didn’t they see I wasn’t well?).
I could no longer pull ‘it’ out of my hat and keep going (energy bunny had abandoned me too!).
I was gutted, exhausted, and ashamed that I looked inept and weak (after all I was a therapist who could cope).

Here’s the good news!

It was the best thing that could have happened to me when Denial disappeared. I was forced to acknowledge myself in small ways and big ways. I learned to meet obligations and responsibilities on my terms. I began to make decisions, choices, and plans that suited my needs first and foremost.

It had to start with me! As I listened to my body and my soul I began to understand…

when to take a few minutes to breathe,
when and whom to say ‘No’ to (there are many ways to do this I have found),
how to get my health back on track (and keep it there),
how to regain and sustain my energy,
my need to sleep, to eat, and to respect and honour what I need throughout my day.

Now I have a new BFF and her name is ‘Aware’ and she is nothing like ‘Denial’. Aware listens to my inner voice. She knows when I’ve had enough, and she knows when to reach for that extra dream. She responds to my spirit.

Aware gently taps my shoulder and says,

“You are priority one. Without you there isn’t much else”.

Aware has made me realise that when I take care of myself my business works better and I have a better quality of life and love.

If you find yourself in the company of Denial, don’t be afraid or ashamed to walk away from that ‘friendship’ with conviction. Head on over to self-awareness and honesy, trust us it’s more invigorating than scarey. When you team up with Aware you open yourself up to all the possibilities and dreams that happen when you live waaayyyy beyond burnout.

Cheers to finding new friends! The Burnout Queens xx

[The Burnout Queens wrote this article as a guest blog for The Girls Mean Business]

Spring Cleaning HSP-style

May 26, 2016

When Spring arrived, everyone was talking about spring-cleaning the house, the garden, washing the car, mending the curtains and fixing the fence! All of that sounds lovely and inspiring and encouraging. It will make us feel better to put the new paint on the walls, get the old out and make room for the new.

Of course, that got me thinking. All those make-overs outside ourselves will make us happier and feel more organised, but dear one, what if we take that concept and apply it just to little-old-you! Have you spring cleaned your life yet?

Yes, let’s spring clean you! Whoosh that sounds kinda weird, but before you get offended, why not try freshening your ‘self’ up this spring.

Spring may be the perfect time to take stock of yourself and give a heave-hoe to the old stuff and a welcome mat to the new!

Here are 8 challenges that will give you and your life a fresh-air newness.

Challenge your brain. Make a new routine to your day.
Challenge your emotions. Create new rituals (not chores) that you enjoy.
Challenge your spirit. Clear your energy by saying kinder things to you and others (get rid of the swearing and cursing, it doesn’t become a queen).
Challenge your perspective. Look for positives in your life and bin the negatives.
Challenge your heart. Send your outworn styles to charity. Give some other woman less fortunate the opportunity to feel beautiful.
Challenge your creativity. Make a beautiful space, even if it’s a little corner or small surface. Air freshener that makes you smile, candle that calms, colours you love, most classy-comfy armchair to curl up in.
Challenge your self. Take pictures of yourself and see what others see. If you don’t like what you see, change her!
Challenge your desire. Start a piggy-bank for anything you want it to be for. Keep investing in your dream, who knows when that little piggy will crack!

Remember you need to put yourself on the spring clean list every year, along with all the household cleaning. What better way to ensure you feel alive and invigorated again. After all, isn’t that what Spring is all about?

Challenge You. Clear the clutter and feel the freedom!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx