Burnout-Free Lifestyle | The Burnout Queens

Giving Is Simply Fun

January 26, 2016

This last Christmas, The Burnout Queens decided to add a little sparkle to girls’ and womens’ lives. We decided it’s time to put our Christmas Chaos Campaign into action.

Ladies who read us…and get our philosophy…were asked to purchase our It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Chaos video and learn how to create delight in the holidays, instead of dread! As an incentive we decided to send all the proceeds…yes 100% +…to WaterAid to help young girls get an education rather than walking all day to gather water for their village. The purchase + our donation match + UK governments match.

Well…proud to say that we got some lovely hearted women on board and we raised £50.00 for WaterAid. So like all good women after Christmas….we shopped! Here’s what we got with your help, our help and the government’s help: a bag or 2 of cement, enough to build the foundations of a village loo!!

And because a woman can’t just stop at bags, we thought a little red toolkit was the perfect accessory. This red toolkit will fix the water supplies in not 1, but 10 villages.

Now that’s what I call a shopping spree. It was fantastically fun to know that your £2 expanded to give young girls the chance to open a book or two and help her village for the future in a different and important way.

And we hope that those of you who helped in this global way, found some fun and merriment in the suggestions we gave on our latest edition of It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chaos.

Till next year’s campaign kicks off with another offering. Thanks from us to all our Burnout Queen friends. Your generosity is uplifting.

With love, The Burnout Queens xx

Not My Responsibility!

January 22, 2016

Twice this week clients, professional HSP working women, have wanted my opinion about situations that had come up at work and the common denominator…is this my responsibility?

Responsibility is tricky for us highly sensitive (dare I say, oh sure why not since I’m one too!) perfectionistic, over-achieving, and highly ethical and responsible women! You see we have been raised and trained to take responsibility for everything and anything whether it actually is our responsibility or not! And we step up and then we stew about it. Two scenarios:

First one: Client is aware that a colleague is partaking in some pretty unethical behaviour. My client had alerted the owners of the company about this possibility when they hired this other worker – it wasn’t a suggestion to not hire them just to keep an eye on them. Over and over again my client tried to raise the red flag, which was part of her original consultancy responsibility but wasn’t really listened to by the powers that be. This time my client directly addressed the situation with the person who was carrying out this questionable behaviour to be met with a complete ‘who cares!’ attitude. So now she was wondering do I go to ‘the bosses’ with it? Lots of you are probably saying, ‘of course!’ (probably because you are also HSPs full of integrity).

My response…not your responsibility any longer, let it go. They didn’t listen to you before, they are not going to listen now. Take yourself off the hook and don’t enter a contentious situation.

Second situation: Budget! My client, a financial exec, brings forward an invoice of varying tech costs with a whole list of reasons why some should be excluded from these tech consultants. Bosses attitude is “just pay it!” But, but, but…

My response…not your company, his company, you did your job, you raised the issue, you showed him the evidence…pay it, it’s his money!

I’ll probably have lots of people disagreeing with me, even I disagree with me sometimes! However, I also know that our proclivity to take 150% responsibility for things that aren’t ultimately our responsibility gets us into trouble.

Take the steps you need to feel like you can look at yourself in the mirror, know you have done your best, then let it go. You can’t be right, or listened to, all the time. Darn!

Love, Dr Toby (The Burnout Queens)) xx

What’s Age Anymore?

January 21, 2016

You know when you rush through a station and something catches your eye, well I was rushing through the internet the other day and this blog caught my eye. It was called Wonder Women: The Stars Who’ve Turned Seventy and Still Continue to Shine (by Alison Coldridge, 19/01/2016). I had to have a look and I can only say…Wow! These women are inspirational, not just because they have celebrity or look amazing, but because they are still relevant and working at what they love to do. I swear that is why they are all so beautiful. So here is their list, then we added a few of our own.

Their list: Dolly Parton (70); Diane Keaton (70); Bette Midler (70); Helen Mirren (70); Debbie Harry (70); Jane Fonda (78); Vivienne Westwood (74); Grace Coddington (74); Goldie Hawn (70); Tina Turner (76); Judi Dench (81); Maggie Smith (81); Joan Collins (82) .

Our additions: Mary Berry (80); Shirley Bassey (79); Cleo Laine (88); Angela Lansbury (90); Queen Elizabeth (90); Bridget Riley (84); Rose Hilton (85); Louise Hay (89); Joanna Lumley (70); Carole King (73); Carly Simon (70); Daphne Selfe (85); Yoko Ono (82); Carmen Dell’Orefice (84).

I know someone out there is going to say they are all stars, well you are right they are all stars in their known field and many of them have made massive contributions behind the scenes as humanitarians and activists as well.

We know them, we see them and I for one appreciate their visibility. I wish it were as easy to name off all the brilliant women scientists, philosophers, legal minds, or economists who are still working at what they are passionate about past 70! If you know of some please share so we can all broaden our horizons.

Take a moment and look up some of their accomplishments. I’ll simply say it again, Wow!

With love and inspiration to all…Dr. Toby (The Burnout Queens) xx

Reflect your gorgeous energy into the world

January 15, 2016

The Burnout Queens Wisdom: Reflect your gorgeous energy into the world

Can’t Keep Your Antlers Straight?

December 17, 2015

Can’t keep your antlers straight?…

You might just be in the Loop! That’s the B-Loop we’re talking about. What’s the B-Loop? Well my dears… B is for Burnout!

The holiday season is defined by stress and pressure: TV ads with sparkling lights and happy happy families, perfect dinners, happy families, mounds of presents, did we mention happy families?!!!

It’s enough to give you the chills! But you are a Burnout Queen so when the pressure hits you get going!

You vow you will..

dig in and push harder
achieve more
write more lists, check them twice (no make that 10 times!)
make double the shortbread
plan the perfect Holiday menu
craft like a crazy lady
buy more lights for the house (the neighbours doubled theirs!)
get more prezzies for the kids, musn’t disappoint
create the perfect decorating scheme
and get a reindeer for the front lawn (note to self make that a real one!)

Don’t look up you’re not done! You…

need to paint the guestroom, (it’s tired)
order the new sofa in time for the neighbourhood party
find the perfect dress for the office party (not too sexy not too prim)
make the Christmas pageant costumes (1 angel, 2 shepherds)
lose the extra weight by the holidays
and love your in-laws by Dec 24!

Welcome to the B-Loop! It’s a slippery slope with or without snow!

Burnout Queens think it’s normal to be in the Loop! We don’t recognise the pattern. Well, now you can! It looks like this…

stress >> dig in >> do more>> achieve less>> stress >>push harder

You live in the Loop with a smile on your face, you make it look easy and no one knows you are skating on thin ice! And because you make it look so easy-peasy everyone just expects you to do it all again…and again…and again…

Next year it will be different! We’ve heard that before, but now it can! Stick with us Darling Burnout Queens and we will show you how to get out of the Loop and stay out!

Join us inside The Realm and see how other women are escaping the Loop. What a gift! (Click here to become a free member instantly)

Until next time…sparkle! Dr Toby, The Burnout Queens xx