The Burnout Queens Wisdom: Embrace Who You Are!
Ready to Leap?
Then by all means…Let’s Leap!
Two years ago this month, we decided our work needed to take a major leap forward, much like we did with our whole life 7 years ago when we moved from Canada to London UK. A good, dare we say GREAT (of course we dare!) rebrand requires leaping and landing in a totally new place, and that is what we have proudly done. Two years ago, The Burnout Queens made the royal leap and we have not looked back!
Everything, everyone, is soooo results oriented these days, it’s numbers this and numbers that, you know, ‘how many followers, how many likes, how many tweets, how many programmes, how many clients’. If you love excel sheets and counting it all up then that’s wonderful. But really the massive reward for us is always in the leap itself.
When you Leap you get to have fun and find yourself all over again: a new way to look at things, present things…a whole new voice! Leaping is invigorating, fun, scary, challenging, and creative! We were absolutely on board for this.
But we practice what we preach! Too too much hard work makes The Burnout Queens tooooo boring, so a day at the Seaside watching someone else take the ‘leap’ was just what we needed before we roll out even more fabulous newness!
Refreshed and Ready…we’re about to leap!
Love, The Burnout Queens xx
Time Tension, Time Pressure, Time Stress | This HSPs War With Time
Time (ime, ime, ime) is on my side…really?
Thank-you Rolling Stones for your reassuring words. In all truth, I have never felt at ease with time. Oh how I wish I did. From the moment I wake up until the time I go to sleep I feel ‘as if’ I’m at war with time. Strangely, my time tension has nothing real or practical to do with time.
If you are also an HSW (Highly Sensitive Woman) you may know exactly what I am talking about. Regardless of what you call it: time urgency, time pressure, chronic time stress, or time tension, it feels like “the wolves are at the door”. The pressure cooker of time makes me believe that I am never going to accomplish enough of anything.
Time tension, when unchecked, leaves me drained and breathless in a spiritual kind of way.
Time tension simply exists within me. It has nothing to do with a clock ticking, deadlines or even the ultimate fact that there are 24 hours in a day and nothing is going to change that. No, time tension reflects a lived experience of time: instead of feeling that time can flow easily I experience a squeezed anticipation of time. There aren’t a lot of real emotions associated with time tension, it’s just there. It feels like being in a race with no finish line in sight. If there were a real deadline at least I could worry, but my time tension is an illusion.
Today is a perfect example: no scheduled appointments, no expected interruptions (hopefully the planets are all aligned!), only 3 things on the ‘get done’ list, and yet as I write about time tension I feel it covertly settling into the armchair in my office waiting there for the opportunity to leap onto my back and intimidate me with time. It’s only purpose is to throw me into a tizz or make me freeze with fright. Time raises the spectre of disasters and failures; of not getting done what I need to get done. Thing is, it’s not true, I usually get done what I need to get done. I make a point of not over-tasking myself. There are no secret time disasters lurking in the shadows.
I think this exaggerated fear of time comes from a mix of nature and nurture. I was born with a ‘hummingbird temperament’ (no insult intended to the bird world, I love hummingbirds) it is natural for me to do everything fast, fast (attested to by my many bumped heads, bruised knees, and slightly chopped fingers!) Then I grew-up with parents who never ‘wasted’ time. I was ‘late’ getting up by 8:30 in the morning having wasted half the day! I marveled at how Mum could accomplish six things at once, bake 3 things simultaneously, welcome whoever arrived at the door for tea with a smile and always fresh baking. Super woman in my child’s eyes. However, from my rather advanced vantage point now (ah hmm) I can see that she was always in a state of time tension, she didn’t necessarily do everything perfectly as I once thought, and rarely took any time to stop, relax and enjoy life. It was always a buzz.
Constantly arm wrestling with time eventually harms your health, happiness and success.
What the use of time management if time is the enemy? When you are caught in the net of time urgency no amount of time management or prioritising is going to make a difference. That is not what time tension is about. You simply can’t run fast enough to outrun the pressure of time. It’s the way we relate to time that creates the stress and urgency. Sadly, the outcome of time tension is most often anxiousness or avoidance, procrastination and indecision. We all know where that leads…more stress, tension and pressure.
At this point I’m supposed to offer you at least 5 tips on how to overcome time urgency (…thinking…) Ok, time’s up! I don’t have 5 tips. I have thought and thought about this over the last few days and I have only one tip, the only one that works for me. Here it is…
To stop the anxiousness and the avoidance we have to acknowledge the creepy little time monster lurking in the dark corner. Go ahead and yell BOO at it! Send it running. Sure it will creep back in, maybe each and every day, but you no longer have to give it the time of day.
By now you probably, intuitively know if you engage in this war with time, but in case you are still wondering here are a few signs of time tension:
- finger tapping, knee or foot jiggling
- doing several things at once
- having a hard time sitting still to do nothing
- fidgeting
- facial tension or tautness
- eating fast and never just dawdling at the table
- during conversations thinking about other things or what’s next
If any of these tip-offs ring your alarm bell, don’t hit the snooze button and pull the covers over your head! Wake up to the knowledge that your relationship with time isn’t about minutes, or hours, it’s all about perception! The time tension you feel doesn’t truly exist. Don’t let it determine the mood of your day, after all…
Time (ime, ime, ime) is on YOUR side. YES IT IS!
PS. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.
Good things come in small packages!
Well, The Burnout Queens always say, if you’re waiting for the BIG things in life to make it worthwhile, you may be waiting a long time.
This beauty bundle arrived in a cardboard box today. We totally expected to get our order of teas from the department store we love (Fortnum & Mason) in London. It’s one of the little pleasures and indulgences we allow ourselves. We’ve been having it delivered to our seaside home for over a year now and was just expecting to unpack the box of teas.
Surprise and delight…this little beauty box was thrown in unannounced and unexpected. What do they say, good things come in small packages. Well F & M delivered. A little box of truffles…a small bit of luxury in an otherwise ordinary workday.
We are convinced more than ever, that it’s the small everyday events that add up to a pleasurable life.
Someone put the kettle on, we’ll all have tea!
Love, The Burnout Queens xx
Hello from Brighton & London: 9 April 2016
We’re settling nicely into Spring seaside. March is always about clearing the cobwebs and getting out-and -about to explore what’s new. You know The Burnout Queens are all about living a burnout-proof lifestyle, so what better time than spring, to pursue that balance between work and play.
There is nothing better than that first beach romp in the year, especially when rewarded with an outdoor snack of tea and teacakes. (We all love our teacakes at the beach cafe). And while breathing in the sea-air on the beach is fabulous, as far as I’m concerned, there is no better discovery than a window full of delicious easter delights (we couldn’t resist).
March in London means the Affordable Art Fair and we always find that special piece to be enjoyed forever (like the chocolate shop, should have left the credit card at home).
But London isn’t the only kind of culture we now enjoy. To say Brighton dishes it’s own brand of culture and vibe is an understatement. Everything from style (who wears these high heels), to the buzz of food and friends in The Laines, to the quirky backstage door of the theatre royal, and all the street music (yes it’s a piano-playing zebra), it keeps us walking, gawking and definitely smiling.
You know what we always say don’t you? “Expect the Unexpected”. Well, it doesn’t get more unexpected than this home-to-go parked around the corner from us. It was soooo cute and quirky we just had to take a snapshot. I must admit I’m becoming a convert to Tiny House Nation, but this just took the prize!
Workwise, we set aside a week of planning and design for three new programmes to be launched this year… and now the writing and videos begins. Never shy for a challenge, we believe these programmes will be ‘just what the doctors ordered’ to shed your stress, embrace your sensitivity and live a burnout-proof lifestyle in the same way we do (well not exactly the same, but you get the drift).
We want all of you to recognise the beauty and sense of spirit in your daily living… so when moments like this happen, you’ll be ready to embrace the wonderment!
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but as May (omg) approaches, see you at the beach!
PS: If you’ve decided it’s time to defy ordinary and make some changes this spring, come join us inside The Realm! Our global women’s club is expanding each month, so it’s never to late to get acquainted. Register for your instant membership here: https://theburnoutqueens.com/the-realm/