
The Burnout Queens Wisdom: It’s time to fall in love with yourself!

The Burnout Queens Wisdom: It’s time to fall in love with yourself!

In 2009 we had a sign on the office wall that simply read,
Burn the Boats!
It was our mantra as we embarked upon the biggest change we had ever made in our lives. We had decided to pack up our entire lives and move from Canada to England. We were no strangers to BIG change, but this one was a whopper.
Each and every week we talk to women who post-burnout are finding their new stride as they set their course for the future. Regardless of the reasons they have stumbled, relationship breakup, job loss, career change, or health challenges, they know that life is going to change sometimes to the point that it will be unrecognisable. They have decided to burn the boats!
Now, if you don’t know where that phrase came from, well when Cortes landed in Mexico in 1519 he and his men (sorry no women allowed back then) faced a fierce battle. As they set off up the hill Cortes ordered his aide back to the beach with a single command…Burn the boats! Sometimes there is no going back.
We will all reach a point in life at some time or another when we have to forge a new direction.
Maybe that time is now for you. Has the way you have been comfortably living now become so uncomfortable that it feels like life is suffocating you? Perhaps you have arrived at a point where everything that was once so familiar now seems strange. Sometimes it will be of your own making and sometimes you will be catapulted into change. Either way, you may want to burn the boats.
Of course, moving away from everything you know as ‘your life’ is difficult and scary, but as human beings we are meant to outgrow ourselves! We age, we mature, we change inside and out, and there is little we can do to avoid the process. Change is natural and it is going to happen with you or without you, so really, truly, you have no choice but to to move forward and through it.
What counts is how you approach big changes, handle the transition, and ultimately find your stride again.
There is no denying it there will be times when change is terrifying, exhausting, and even times when it brings despair. However, flip side…change also brings growth, renewal, joy, and excitement. And what about new adventures? We are all about new adventures.
Now with all the BIG changes we have made in our lives we have heard all the questions, like…
How do you stop worrying about what’s at the other end?
You don’t. You consider all your choices, make decisions, make more decisions, and ultimately realise that change means accepting the unknown, which in time will once again settle into the familiar.
Next question…
How do you handle the fear?
Easy, peasy, you don’! You just wade into it and confront it. When I was a kid at the beach and the tide was miles out, I couldn’t wait to get out to that farthest sandbar to explore! That meant having to wade through many tidal pools full of scary seaweed and who knows what else! So I had to make a choice, stay afraid and never feel the exhilaration of reaching the sandbar with all of it’s treasures, or start wading. No contest, roll up those ‘pedal-pushers’ (capris for some of you) and plunge in.
Finally, we always get asked,
How do you keep going when you hit obstacles or things go wrong?
One foot in front of the other, what else? Keep the dream in sight and have faith. You have to believe in yourself and in your dream. And you have to be tenacious.
There is no avoiding it, in every person’s life there will come a time, or two or three, when everything will change no matter how much you may try to keep it all the same. If you choose out of fear you end up with a less than satisfactory result. If you choose out of a sense of adventure, belief, and faith you take your life in amazing directions. You may stumble but you will get there!
Obstacles or opportunities…you choose!
The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.
The Realm’s weekly postcard with it’s assignment arrived in my inbox this past Sunday. It made me think about the question and how I would answer it, and so I posted in our private facebook page.
Then I thought, this is important, so I’m sharing it here as well.
The assignment for this week’s The Realm postcard asked our members to think not about their age, but about what or how age has changed them for the better over the last 10 years. So here was my answer….
” 10 years on and I am stronger and more able to say NO to people and things that aren’t right for me. How did I come to this? After several ‘crazy and manipulative’ people in my life pre UK and here as well, I can clearly and quickly see the train wreck coming towards me, so I say NO and get out. It may look like I’m a rude or unfriendly person, but having experienced prolonged relationships with friends, colleagues and family members who were not good for my health and mind, I have learned I have a choice to look after me.”
Here are my examples (and feel free to leave yours in the comments below)
Some people will judge this as b**chy (and believe you me they have and on several occasions convinced me I was) but I don’t mind because 10 years on, my heart is in the right place and I am firm about what I have learned the hard way.
Life post-burnout is ‘very’ different thankfully.
Love, The Burnout Queens xx
Happy October! September brought the last few days of our family visit, and that meant enjoying the last few days of cultural splendour at museums and castles in and around London. An exhibition of lingerie, a bomb scare evacuation at the coach station (made for a hasty retreat into the back streets), the little train ride to the castle, all added-up to a great time.


And now The Burnout Queens are back to normal, whatever you want normal to be when you live and work from home. For us seaside normal is enjoying rituals like Sunday breakfasts and Friday doughnut mornings in The North Laines. It’s a fabulous way to enjoy the vibe of the area and squeeze in our daily walk as well.


Getting back into the everyday groove can be challenging, so we booked something cultural to give us a day away from ‘the office’. Brighton was the final stop for the play, ‘The Dresser’ prior to opening on London’s West End. We couldn’t miss this opportunity for brilliant acting and drama, so we dropped everything and booked an afternoon matinee (the perks of solopreneurs). If you are in London go see it, it’s fab, and if you aren’t you can always watch the timeless movie.


We are definitely ready for Autumn and any rainfall that arrives with it. Well, The Burnout Pups are at least. No more wringing out the buckets of damp from these shorties now that new raingear is here (they always look adorable). And while we didn’t get new rain attire, we will console ourselves with yummy tea and home baking!


Did you see, listen to, or read about our newest project? We have just launched it!
Quiet the Buzz of Everyday Life…
creating calm for the Highly Sensitive Woman.
The programme shares our unique ‘everyday’ way to quiet overarousal, create a calmer you, and make you more resiliant to the busyiness and stress of daily life. Mini-audios and videos (21 in all) show you a variety of ways to enjoy and benefit from physical relaxation, breath awareness, mindfulness and even some mini meditations. Little and often is our philosophy.
It’s quick, it’s easy and it doesn’t break the budget. Your best buy at £27.99 for everything (or £22.99 if you are a member of The Realm!).
Watch our video presentation here and get started! https://theburnoutqueens.com/quiet-buzz-sales
Until November (wow), have a groovy month.
Love,

PS: The Realm! Our global women’s club is growing fast and our reach is truly worldwide (although there are a few corners on the map we have yet to welcome),so count yourself in too. Register for your instant membership here: https://theburnoutqueens.com/the-realm/
The Burnout Queens Wisdom: Plan in order to be spontaneous