Decisions! Love them or hate them they are omnipresent. Most of the mundane everyday decisions we don’t even notice, like getting up or getting dressed. We make hundreds of these nondescript decisions everyday. It is the ‘other ones’ that have some of us declaring that we ‘can’t make decisions’ and for others feeling frozen like a deer in the headlights!
Some decisions just sit there like a heavy weight.
There is no obvious solution. No right or wrong. Not really even a deadline. I know this. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier. I have even taught theories of decision making at university and one of my ‘famous quotes’ came back at me in a students term paper, “when it comes right down to it, most of us toss a coin”. In my defense, it’s true.
I know there are rarely perfectly clear answers to decisions. Heck, there are no perfect answers at all. And yet I find myself wanting a clear sign from the Universe like a bird flying by holding a sign that says ‘choose this’! One minute I think I know but in the next instance I am arguing (with myself) for the opposite! I’m sure you all know what I mean.
So I try to muster up all the wisdom (giving myself credit here) that I have accumulated over many many years and tell myself to just sit with it, go with the flow, trust the Universe and any other motivational sound bite I can recall.
Despite my best efforts every fibre in my being screams, ‘just decide’! Let me be clear, there is absolutely no time pressure on this decision, only self-induced. I can take as long as it takes to figure it out: days, months, even years.
Still the pressure feels intense and heavy like the air before a thunderstorm. It demands attention.
I have taken many ‘leaps of faith’ in my life: many hold your nose and jump moments when I didn’t have a clue if my decision was ‘right’. So everyday I ask myself why does this decision feel so different? I haven’t figured this out. Only that it is a lesson in patience, trust and faith.
By now you are either glazing over from my indecision or asking what on earth this massive decision is. Well, here it is… After almost 7 years living on the edge of a small village in the countryside, with at times only sheep as neighbours, do we move back to city living or not? (By the way, do you know how loud sheep can be? I didn’t, they are!)
Every decision means an ending and a beginning; letting go of something known and embracing something new.
All I can say is…When l know, I’ll know. When I know, you’ll know. Together we can celebrate the end of the agony of not knowing! In the meantime you can follow our spiral path, every twist and turn, forward, back and begin again!
Until next time, Embrace Life!
Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka: The Burnout Queens) xx