Highly Sensitive Woman

The experience of living as a highly sensitive woman in a noisy, busy and unrelenting world

Saluting International Women’s Day


Today is International Women’s Day, so we are saluting the fabulous women who we call our Burnout Queens.  Who are these Burnout Queens?

They are an interesting and varied lot!  Many are creative professionals; musicians, singers, artists, writers, poets, actors, screenwriters, jewellery designers, chefs, bakers, interior designers, event planners, fashion designers, theatre company managers and film production personnel.  They are in business, education and health care.  They are teachers, lawyers, health executives, social workers, pilots, financial advisors, academics, and business owners. Many work for themselves, or long to.  They are entrepreneurs, solo-preneurs, and mum-preneurs!

Our Burnout Queens are strong, fabulous, creative, sensitive, and smart women.  They come from big cities and small towns around the globe.

What they share is a personality that makes them prone to burnout.  They are busy being their best!  They are personal strivers, responsible, dependable, conscientious, perfectionistic, reliable, and, wow, they have drive and stick-to-it-ness.  Throw in being creative, perceptive, sensitive, and intuitive, all it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and you either have a recipe for burnout or the secret formula for high potential living.

We love our Burnout Queens.  They dream big dreams; they dream of changing the world.  They are inspiring and exciting.

We want you to value, accept, and learn to love the power and strength that comes from being a Burnout Queen!  We want you to do your own thing, live your dreams your way because that will enrich the world for all of us and generations to come.

We salute and take our crowns off to all of you.

Love,  Dr T & Dr B

 

TEAR UP THE PLANS | The Burnout Queens Stage A Sit In!

Tear Up The Plans | The Burnout Queens Stage A Sit In!

Sometimes, without any warning, it becomes obvious that the direction you might be headed in is looking, shall we say, questionable.  Well, that is exactly what happened to us.  January usually signals the beginning of unlimited opportunities and possibilities, however, this January felt different.  Instead of being excited by the plans we had put in place we were feeling exhausted and unsure of the next step.  We were, to put it in burnout terms, fried!

The Holiday Season had been hectic: in a good way (yeah, surprise house guests) and in a bad way (yuck, surprise viruses).  We had been counting on that time away from work and other usual obligations to catch our breath and quietly think (in our HSP way) about dreams of the future and plans for the year to come.

In December we had stripped our vision board of last year’s memorabilia ready to embrace these new dreams, ideas, and plans.  Surprisingly, the board remained blank and every time we walked past it, it glared accusingly at us…

“Come on, fill me up with dreams and ideas,
you know you want to!”

We did want to, we had a plan, or so we thought.  In truth, it turned out we were as blank as that board!  Tellingly, the only thing that remained on our board was one of our favourite signs, it reads…

“Tear Up The Plans”

And so we did.  What had seemed so right, now simply didn’t.  It’s inevitable sometimes we know and sometimes we don’t.  We change, we grow, we get wiser, gain clarity, and sometimes we gain confusion.  And you know what?  It is all OK.

It’s OK to not know.  It’s OK to feel unsure.
It’s OK to take time till you know.

We were at that proverbial fork in the road and couldn’t decide on the ‘right’ direction!  So we did what we tell our clients to do, sit down in the middle of the road and wait.  Pushing pause on plans gives you time and space to ask yourself some probing questions, lots and lots of questions.  You know us, we love questions more than we love answers!  Questions like:

What do I feel is missing?  What would make me bounce out of bed in the morning?  What view do I want to see when I look out my kitchen window?  What don’t I relish about life these days?  What could I do without right now?  What can’t I do without?  What do I wish I had done before now?  What do I imagine myself doing in the future?

It’s not about regretting, it’s about discovering a new starting point.

Our original plan was actually going to put us behind rather than move us forward so the plan had to go.  We were disappointed although relieved.  We still occasionally groan that we, “should have pushed onwards” but only because pausing the plan is different from our usual ‘fear be damned’ response! To an HSP wired for burnout (but too wise to go there) it feels a bit like plodding, a bit like we gave-up, even if I’m to be truthful, a bit like failing.  But I know it is none of that!  It is using our HSP intuition, creativity, and smarts.

Arriving at a fork in the road can be brilliant!  It’s a sign.
It’s an opportunity to Tear up the Plan.

So that is where we are at.  And, you know what?  New plans are already forming.  Life never stands still.  So, if you are at your own fork in the road like we are and you feel confused about which direction to choose (we are there with you sister!), sit down and have a think.  The future is not going anywhere.  It could be time for you to tear up your plans and stage your own creative revolution.  Want our advice?

Take your time, be open to the unexpected,
and have a nice cup of tea…with cake of course!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

Am I Burnt Out?

AM I BURNT OUT?

 

I am struck by how many women these days easily say, “oh I’m just so burnt out”.  Sadly, I believe it’s a statement most of us seem to relate to in this fast-paced world today. Many of our clients come to us feeling down, depleted, and utterly overwhelmed…and you guessed it, they all say, I think I might be burning out.

 

What is this thing called Burnout?

We often ask people, ‘do you really know what burnout is’.  We hear a variety of common responses some accurate, some not.  Bottom line, if the information is not correct women don’t seek help and things get worse.  It’s the way Burnout takes hold.

When people hear you say you’re burned out, they usually reply that everyone is stressed.  If you think you are suffering from burnout and hear this, you walk away feeling foolish and inept for making a fuss, even though you feel about to drop from exhaustion.

Others talk about ‘being burned out’ in a manner that sounds like a fad or trend or something ultra-light.  They are the ones who seemingly act like the ‘every-ready bunny’ and keep going, hardly skipping a beat.  It makes it hard to believe they feel like you do, because you are struggling to keep up with everything.  So you lie awake wondering what’s wrong with me that I can’t cope.

This would be a good moment to give Burnout some serious thought.  What is it really and what does it look and feel like.  The best medicine is to arm yourself with proper knowledge so that you can make decisions in aid of your well-being.

The Burnout Queens have put together this Simple Symptom Checklist for Burnout to help you identify whether or not you are burning out.  See if you recognise any of the emotional, physical and mental changes for yourself.

 

Get immediate access to this Checklist

CLICK HERE:

 

 

 

 

Don’t dismiss your feelings and emotions.  If it’s just stress it can’t be that bad, right?  And if it’s really bothering you that much you must be depressed, right?  Perhaps not.

Burnout is not stress and it’s not depression, although you just might ‘feel’ depressed and stressed when you keep trying to juggle all your responsibilities and never feel you get enough reprieve to feel well.  If you are burnt out you keep trying to ‘keep going’, but with depression you just want to hide under the duvet forever! 

Let’s nip burnout in the bud.   Start by downloading our Simple Symptom Checklist for Burnout.  This is the best and simplest way to check if you are actually burning out.

If you love downloading, you will love our Learn From Us page.  Feel free to save and read as many of our resources that you think will help on your road to living a burnout-free lifestyle.

 

 

To your health!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Visions of Sugar Plums | Are you ready for your future?

Visions of Sugar Plums | Are you ready for your future?

This is the perfect time of year to ask you to imagine.  If you believe in angels, elves or magical sleigh rides then you are ready to dream.

What do you imagine your life to be…someday?

We are talking about the Big Picture, not plans or goals.  Oh, plans and goals are helpful when it comes to making things happen but they go nowhere without your imagination, your desire to dream big.  Whatever you choose to call your Big Dream (life vision, life dream, or wide angle view) we want you to indulge in imagining it in all its glory.

Now you know that the BOQs believe in inspiration, but we are also pretty ‘down to earth’!  We are not necessarily preaching the ‘dream it and it will happen’ school of thought, but we do believe that once you begin to dream your life in the future you breathe an energetic spirit into your dream and that is when it becomes a possibility.

Having a vision of your life in the future takes you beyond a place of limitation to a place of possibility and opportunity.

We all have times when we think about the future and wish or hope that things will be different.  Well, no one ever accused the BOQs of being subtle so here is what we believe…wishing is wishy-washy!  Wishing and hoping don’t make things happen.  Wishing is passive. ‘Wanting’ on the other hand encourages you to stretch and challenge yourself to realise your potential.  Wanting has energy.

To make things happen you need to want!

Still skeptical whether or not you have the ability to design a life vision for yourself?  Anyone can dream what is possible, dreaming and imagining is a natural process of our psyche.  Since the beginning of humanity every single achievement or invention began as a sparkle of an idea in someone’s mind.  Everything that exists was merely a thought once upon a time.

Allowing yourself to dream and design a life vision means getting a sneak preview of life to come.

We know that many of you, our darling readers, are looking for a new dream, a different direction, deeper satisfaction, new challenges, and definitely more time to laugh and love.  You only need an idea, a ‘wouldn’t it be great if…’ kind of idea.  The rest will unfold as you allow yourself to dream.  After all, what better time of year is there to believe?

There is plenty to come!

We send you our love and wishes for a gentle and loving holiday time.  We sincerely hope you will join us on this adventure called life next year as we unravel our new dreams along with yours. 

May we all pray in whatever way we do for Peace on Earth, there could be no greater gift.

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

AS EASY AS PIE! | Falling In Love With Energy the HSP Way

AS EASY AS PIE! | Falling In Love With Energy the HSP Way

This month is all about energy.  We spend it, we lament it, we curse it, and we desire it.  But…do we understand it?  Well, the Burnout Queens have some pretty simple ideas and solutions for nurturing your energy, so let’s get started.

First of all, there is no one infinite pot of energy to draw on, sorry but it’s true.  This came as a big shock to me when I was totally burned out.  I had always figured when I used up my energy from one pot I’d just switch to another and keep on trekking!  When I realised that I had only one pot of energy to draw from I began treating it like a pot of gold.

Energy is nature’s pulse.

Energy is one of our most basic needs.  Energy is nature’s pulse.  Think about nature and how we never question the shift between high energy and low energy, activity and rest; think of the tides and the seasons, think of plants and animals.  Well, us human beings also need that rhythmic movement between activity and rest.  We need to learn to spend and recover energy.

When we find ourselves out of energy, running on empty, it is usually because we have overridden that natural rhythmic pulse.  We work long hours, we work without breaks, we divide our energy by constant multi-tasking, we keep going even when we know we are exhausted, we get the minimum amount of sleep we can function on, we grab empty calories to stave off hunger, and if you are truly a highly sensitive Burnout Queen you put everyone elses’ needs before your own.

HSPs are in touch with their energy flow,
but often ignore it’s needs!

HSPs’ energy levels quite naturally have peaks and troughs, often big ones.  Some may say you need to get a handle on these and even them out, but not us.  We know these highs and lows of energy are important to you as a highly feeling and creative individual.  We wouldn’t dream of telling you to limit them, instead we suggest that you create/add buffer zones or equilibrium phases to your natural HSP energy cycles.  For example, if you have been enjoying a period of peak creative energy plan an ‘equilibrium space’.  Enjoy this shift in pace instead of seeing it in a negative light of being uninspired, lacking inspiration or motivation, even lazy…you get my drift!  Of course, you may experience a ‘depleted’ level of energy after finishing your masterpiece, that is part of the nature’s cycle of expenditure and restoration.  It’s about perception.  Respect the shift, savour the quiet energy, enjoy your downtime, and take care of simpler, slower aspects of life.

We all need times when we step out of the race, stop soaking up information, and shift our energy from doing doing doing to being being being.  We need downtime.  Downtime is productive time.

Downtime is time to think, to rest, to restore, to create, to
contemplate, to breathe, to love,
to find and refind your sense of Self.

Nurturing your energy flow doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult.  It doesn’t even have to take up much time.  What it does take is awareness and a simple question.

We promised you a simple, doable (dare we say inspiring…yes we dare!) inspiring way of nourishing and nurturing your energy flow.  We call it…P*I*E*S!

P is for Physical:  Protecting your fundamental sources of energy: food, fluids, breathing, and rest.

I is for Intellectual:  Keeping your mental energy up by challenging yourself with new learning.

E is for Emotional:  Staying in touch with your emotions and expressing them.

S is for Spiritual:  Living with Spirit means slowing down and listening to your inner voice.

Put it all together into one simple but life changing question to ask yourself on a daily basis…

Am I taking care of my energy needs Physically, Intellectually,
Emotionally, and Spiritually TODAY?   P*I*E*S

Now, there is one last thing I think we should talk about around this topic of energy and that is…AgingOk, there I’ve said it.  We lose our energy as we age, right?  Not necessarily.  Some women find they have more energy with age as they grow into being comfortable with who they are and freer to pursue and express their uniqueness.

As we age well our choices about how we spend our energy may undergo a complete renaissance.  We may choose to spend our energy differently; we may desire different things, pursue different activities, we may decide to change paths completely or live a totally different lifestyle.  Of course there may be a few more creaks and groans but each day as we age is an opportunity to initiate life changing choices.

Dance to your hearts content, but then catch your breath, find that
rhythm, and listen to your own wise voice.

Yes, my loves, with awareness, commitment, and a few simple changes you can fall in love with your energy.  Who would have thought it could be as easy as, you got it

P*I*E*S

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

P.S.S. We’re now on Instagram! Our handle is THEBURNOUTQUEENS, of course!

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