Today is for living, you can rest tomorrow. -Dr. Bev McLagan-
perfectionism
Monday Mantra… Feel your Energy
Suffer From “End-Of Holiday Worry-Talk” ?
Holidays are one of the few times we get away and leave all the ‘worries’ behind, unless you are a ‘Sunday night worrier’ like me! From the time I started school this HSP (that’s Highly Sensitive Person for any newbies) would spend the last day of weekends worrying about Monday. Then came Summer holidays and I would fret through August as I watched ‘back to school’ tv ads! Ditto for the Christmas hols! So why should I be any different as an HSP adult? I’m not.
During the last couple of days of any holiday thoughts and worries about work, obligations & responsibilities flood my mind. My bet is some of you endure the same ones! “How much work has been left on my desk? What problems am I returning to? How many emails are waiting? Did that sale go through? Will clients remember me after the Holiday? Did I book the vet visit for January?”
Doesn’t seem to matter what I’m doing or where I’m working, the same worry-talk shows up.
The mind chatter appears, the worries kick-in and the fretting starts: tension, anxiousness, pressure, and dread. Personally, I get knots in my stomach, feel like I can’t relax or have fun and usually suffer a night or two of restless sleep.
It’s easy to feel tired at the very thought of juggling it all again.
Well, it’s time to get proactive and stop being bullied by your worries! The first thing you need to do is become aware that this is a worry pattern you regularly fall into. (Could be as regularly as every weekend!) Once you see the pattern for what it is start to identify specific worries, like: ‘When I think about getting back to work I start to worry about…or, I stress-out about…when I think about the Holidays ending’. It doesn’t matter how big or trivial you think your concerns are, if they worry you, they count!
Take time to ponder each one. (Don’t you just love that word ‘ponder’?) Are they typical you-type worries? Have you handled similar situations in the past? What’s your track record been? We just know that it’s highly unlikely you’ve been an outright failure at handling them! So, if you generally handle such pressures pretty well, chances are you’ll deal with them all at least as well as you did all the other times.
Now, if you honestly believe you don’t handle such stresses well, figure out ahead of time (which is why we are sending this out early in December!) what you need to DO to overcome the stress or the problem. Put a plan of action together that you will follow when you get back. Write it down.
You need to look at the reality of your worries and stresses in the context of your past performance. Then carry that truth forward. Most of us have a nasty way of under-estimating our ability to handle problems or pressures. The clearer you are about your ability to problem-solve and take care of business, the quicker your end-of-holiday worrying will subside.
We don’t want you spoiling those precious remaining vacation days by fretting unnecessarily! You’ve been here before! You’ve done all this before! You’ve solved it all before!
So, no big surprises except, hopefully, the gift-wrapped ones!
Here’s one great tip!
‘Tis the season of gift giving so here are a few tips to keep you jolly!
- Assign worrisome tasks or situations to a trusted co-worker or assistant to keep an eye on things while you are away.
- Plan your first week back before leaving. Have a ‘to do’ list ready so you know exactly where to start when you get back to work.
- Let everyone think you are returning a day later than you are. Use your first day back in the office to get re-oriented to what has to be done.
- Grab your calendar for the New Year and book yourself some vacation time! (Yes, right now!)
Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!
I’m calling time on myself
December is a truly sh*tty time of year for me. The loss of both my parents within a week of Christmas a few years apart has made it almost impossible to face the Season. Having said that, each year I have gamely approached December telling myself that ‘it’s going to be different’. Problem is, however, the losses live so deeply in my psyche that just when I think I’m in the Christmas groove, I hit the scratch in the record! (Now that shows you how old I am!).
Last year I declared (mainly to myself) that I wasn’t going through it another year. I was not going to work in December, just focus on taking care of myself and getting through. What is that saying about the ‘best laid plans’? So this year what do I find myself doing? You got it, working like a crazy lady!
Till last night when I found myself thinking “this is nuts!” (and variations on that theme!) I decided today with the complete agreement of Dr B (the other Burnout Queen) that all bets were off…and so were all deadlines!
I’m done. Well, until the New Year. I am going to rest, relax, and even embrace the Christmas Spirit with my niece and her family who are arriving from Canada to spend the Holidays. This surprise visit has us over the moon! It’s been quite a few years since we have felt the warmth of family.
There will be a few more things in the pipeline up to the end of the year. Thank goodness for being organised. But for the most part I’m backing away from the computer, away from the deadlines, away from all the worrying and researching. For the next couple of weeks it is going to be way more likely to find me baking! (Yeah, my soul is dancing!)
Then look out 2015! Have we got plans for you: they are still cooking but they are going to be great.
Love Dr T
Hello from London… December 6
Seriously, what happened to this year?!!! December is upon us once again, although you would never know it from the mild weather we have been having. Luckily morning walks in the park are still sunny and dry. That’s important when you have short dogs!
It’s going to be a very different December for us, that’s for sure! Our niece and her fabulous family are visiting from Canada. They will be in London for Christmas and New Year’s and we are going to do the town. Christmas lunch is booked at a 18th century pub just up the road.
We are looking forward to being able to stop, breathe and have some fun since we’ve been so busy over the Autumn with Masterclasses and designing programmes that will be rolled out in 2015.
Of course we did stop to hop across the road (literally across the road, we aren’t kidding !) to see the Christmas fair and the lighting of the Village lights. It’s not everyday you get to see a camel in the middle of the Square! And the 3 Wise Men were there to complete the set! That would be the Village vet, a real estate agent and a shopkeeper…the neighbours…need we say more!
Have an absolutely fabulous Holiday Season! The next time we say “Hello” it will be 2015! Wow! Oh, and before you go…
As a special free gift for a happier Holiday Season, we’ve recorded a fantastic video (mp4 complete with slides) called “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Chaos”. It’s full of info & strategies for surviving the holiday madness with sanity intact! So, sign in to get the private link, grab an extra eggnog, turn up the volume! https://theburnoutqueens.com/xmas-chaos
Till next month, Embrace Life!