overwhelm | The Burnout Queens

Finally, I had arrived…but where?

August 2, 2026

I’m sitting here totally frustrated! My laptop has decided on work to rule and my printer won’t communicate with my laptop! This is all due to an ‘upgrade’ that would be faster, better, quicker, easier. It’s not. I yearn for the ‘old days’ (that would be last week) when all was working just fine and plenty fast enough to get everything done.

So, I ask you Universe (‘cause you can’t talk to a human in the same country) in all sincerity and bewilderment, why does everything have to be quicker, faster, better. Just so you know, I’m not some old fuddy-duddy who wants to go back to the days of dial-up (and before you ask, yes I do remember them but only for a very short time).

We have decades in our lives that are defined by achieving, moving up, doing more, setting one bigger goal after another. I admit I remember when 18-hour days were a badge of honour. I’d arrived…but where? For me it was the land of burnout!

As we get older nature naturally begins to slow us down. Not in some scary way but in a way that encourages us to pursue more relaxation, leisure, softer values, and maybe even eventually retiring from the busyness of work-life.

We can stop trying so hard, pushing through and simply be. We can retire from busyness, hurrying just for the sake of hurrying, saying yes to please others, giving everything to our job (when did work become everything?), putting everyone else’s needs first, or doing things that don’t really matter to you.

As we find a different style of living we go through lots of changes. Some of these changes feel uncomfortable (like playing ‘hooky’ from school) but many of these changes are a welcomed breath of fresh air. With age we have the chance to reflect on what we truly want to do.

Redefining aging, and retirement, means reengaging with newness, change, reflection, beauty, quiet time, friends that ‘get you’, activities that resonate with who you are, new discoveries, adventures, creativity, old dreams, and new dreams.

The big surprise was how easy it was to make these changes, not all at once, but gradually, slowly, savouring each and every new sense of freedom.

The thing I want you to take from this is knowing that in order to find something new you always have to leave something old behind. For me it was a burnout lifestyle.

Cheers, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka The Burnout Queens)xx

Be The Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected! (tip 10)

January 17, 2017

If you are ready to “Be The Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected!”, you will certainly have to try this great little tip….

(excerpt from Be The Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected! 60 fabulous tips to help you live with less pressure and more ease! by The Burnout Queens)

Tip No 10:

Go ahead and giggle! Laughter relieves tension, makes us breathe more deeply, releases ‘happy’ brain chemicals (legal ones), relaxes our muscles, and makes us feel more relaxed overall. How perfect!

Highly Sensitive Women sometimes forget to laugh out loud so purposely look for things that make you laugh.

Plan lunch or coffee with that special friend who always has you in stitches.
Turn on the comedy station instead of the news.
Watch a classic comedy that makes you laugh even when you know what’s coming.

Good for the face, good for the heart and great for the soul!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Ready to Leap?

April 18, 2016

Then by all means…Let’s Leap!

Two years ago this month, we decided our work needed to take a major leap forward, much like we did with our whole life 7 years ago when we moved from Canada to London UK. A good, dare we say GREAT (of course we dare!) rebrand requires leaping and landing in a totally new place, and that is what we have proudly done. Two years ago, The Burnout Queens made the royal leap and we have not looked back!

Everything, everyone, is soooo results oriented these days, it’s numbers this and numbers that, you know, ‘how many followers, how many likes, how many tweets, how many programmes, how many clients’. If you love excel sheets and counting it all up then that’s wonderful. But really the massive reward for us is always in the leap itself.

When you Leap you get to have fun and find yourself all over again: a new way to look at things, present things…a whole new voice! Leaping is invigorating, fun, scary, challenging, and creative! We were absolutely on board for this.

But we practice what we preach! Too too much hard work makes The Burnout Queens tooooo boring, so a day at the Seaside watching someone else take the ‘leap’ was just what we needed before we roll out even more fabulous newness!

Refreshed and Ready…we’re about to leap!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

4 Ways You Don’t Know Something

April 8, 2016

Why do I always have to know what the answer is!?!

If you find this question familiar. If everyone always looks to you to know the answer to something. And if you don’t want to know something for once in your life…. here are 4 super ways to decline knowing and not feel the guilt. Repeat after me!

4 Ways to Decline Knowing Something (no guilt)

BEATS ME!
YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE!
HAVEN’T A CLUE!
NOT MINE TO KNOW!

Put them in your little vocabulary book and the next time you’re exhausted and still someone wants you to come up with the answer, start repeating…

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

(excerpt from The Burnout Queens’ Postcard from The Realm) If you would like to receive more of The Realm’s wisdom every Sunday and learn to Defy Ordinary in your life, you are invited to join our free global women’s group by registering here. The Realm membership

Assertiveness For HSPs!

March 24, 2016

As a highly sensitive, intelligent and creative woman you may have a natural HSP tendency to ‘pause-to-check’. Brief overview, ‘pause-to-check’ comes from our need for a little caution.

We can use this to our advantage by turning it into what we call ‘pause-to-respond’ moments and banish the regret of not getting across your idea clearly. This way, when you do speak up you are heard perfectly! Here’s how:

5 quick ways to power up your pause-to-respond skill.

Buy time – Need a longer pause, be assertive with, “I’ll get back to you on that”.
Ask Self – Take your ‘pause’ moment to consider what you really want to say.
Silence can be golden. Maybe, just maybe, a non-response is the right way to go. Silence speaks volumes.
Own what you want to say – If you have already responded, but had second thoughts (or 100^th thought if an HSP!) return and re-say. “I’ve been thinking about what I said, and what I would have liked to say or truly meant was…”.
Respond thoughtfully – Take your time and don’t be rushed. You may feel like it’s forever, but it will only take you seconds longer to speak thoughtfully and mindfully.

If you found these 5 quick responses helpful and want more of our HSP-specific gems all you have to do is become a member of The Realm! and enjoy your postcards every Sunday.

The Realm!, is a free club for women who want to Defy Ordinary. We are creative, sensitive and ‘very’ global. Register here and receive your instant member’s access information.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx