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Dr Toby
Co-owner, The Burnout Queens
Exchange stress for the warm fuzzies!
Use these violent and uncertain times to count your blessings.
When you feel squeezed and pressured by life stuff, remind yourself of how rich (and safe) you are and give: give something small, give something big, give some time, or recycle something you no longer need but have been holding on to far too long.
Charities really hurt during economically tough and disastrous times. Find one you believe in and say a great big thank you for what you have in your life, while you give in order to make someone else’s life that little bit more tolerable.
Feeds the soul and feels good. With love, The Burnout Queens
Can I have a new brain please?
“Should’a…could’a…would’a!” Don’t waste your precious energy regretting past decisions. It’s easy to get caught up in the “I shouldn’t have” trap, but what’s the use…you did!
So if your mind chatter is all about, “You shouldn’t have bought the new car, shouldn’t have taken that holiday, shouldn’t have left your job, shouldn’t have bought the new boots”…well, move on! It’s done and over. No sense losing sleep regretting. That kind of stress just keeps you stuck.
Ask yourself, “Would I make a different decision tomorrow given the same circumstances?” If the answer is, “YES” identify what decision you might make today and keep it in your bag of tricks for next time. If the answer is “NO”, enjoy and stop the senseless worrying.
Until next posting…Grab Life by the Crown! The Burnout Queens xx
Tuesday tip for a happier you
If the day-to-day grind is getting you down, try this little trick. Give yourself a time-out. Mini breaks can punch holes in the tension that builds up during your day. Get up and…
- walk around
- chat with a co-worker
- grab a breath of fresh air
- stretch for a minute or two
Mini breaks leave you less stressed and more productive and that adds up to a Happier You
The Burnout Queens
The Bad Mood Syndrome
Lately we’re noticing how peoples’ bad moods are spilling over onto other peoples’ living. So more of us are at risk of being on the receiving end of negativity, aggression and ill will. We’ve all experienced the blast of a car horn, the shout of an irrate motorist, or worse, the gesture (you know the one I mean)!
Just the other day we were told to ‘go back to where you came from’ (Canadian accent didn’t sit well with this young english girl), a dogwalking friend was told she was a liar by a complete stranger, and a colleague was accused of starting a fight she wasn’t even present for. These things just leave you scratching your head and wondering “What the h…!”
To us it is just gratuitous aggression and it’s really on the rise! Oh, sooner or later the media will call it something like The Bad Mood Syndrome, and have experts on the couch telling us why it happens. Really, who cares! In short it is rude, obnoxious and highly unintelligent behaviour.
However, if you are the recipient of someone’s bad mood or tantrum it hurts, it throws you off your game and generally sends a bright and calm day into a total spin.
When you are highly sensitive it takes time and energy to shake-off the nastiness. We questions ourselves whether we brought it on (“did I say something, do something, look funny at them”) and never come up with a definitive answer because there is none. We become cautious of who we speak to and how we speak to them. It’s always a massive shock to be mistreated by strangers while minding your own business. We even refrain from sharing our experience with friends in case they think ill of us too!
These attacks are particularly hard on highly sensitive people. HSPs (and that certainly includes us) don’t expect to be treated in this way. We never ‘ask for it’, and would never dream of treating other people in such a manner! Which is why we are always so taken aback!
In short, we can’t control the surprise attack, but what we can control is the amount of time and energy spent trying to understand what we did or didn’t do.
All you need to do is remember one thing and one thing only…It’s not about you, it’s all about them!
PS: One more thing to do, don’t lose your gentleness, your sensitivity, and your caring way of treating others. It takes faith I know, but we don’t need more of ‘them’ in the world. We need more of ‘us’
In peace…The Burnout Queens xx