Dr Toby

Co-owner, The Burnout Queens

I need directions to Happy

happy bowlerIf you’ve been searching for Happy for awhile now, it appears Happy is found within ourselves, rather than being a destination or a group of acquired things.

Darn! that means we might have to put some effort into getting ourselves Happy then.

If that’s the case, I know some women who would much rather go bowling than work at it.  (hint: another way of saying NO to yourself)

To narrow your search for Happy, we thought we’d give you 10 qualities of happy women.  See if you can relate.

1. believing in yourself

2. knowing your true north

3. taking personal responsibility

4. having courage

5. being altruistic

6. embracing optimism

7. being proactive

8. appreciating life

9. being wise and sharing your wisdom

10. persevering

So how did you react to the list?  Are some points true for you?  Are some currently under review? 

It seems how you approach your life makes a qualitative difference in finding happiness and being happy.  And this search needs to be an inside affair.  So The Burnout Queens say reflect deeply, embrace what you have, and change what you can.

And in the meantime….bowling ladies?

xx The Burnout Queens

(list derived from What Happy Women Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Change Women’s Lives for the Better. 2008 Dan Baker, Cathy Greenberg & Ina Yalof

What was that word again? I keep forgetting…

woman wonderingMore often than not women forget one little word that can save so much time and energy and change our days and weeks considerably.  It’s such a simple one, but it just does not roll off the female tongue easily or naturally.

What a shame.

Do you know what word we are talking about?  Of course you do, but we know you’re hesitant to use it because it makes you feel mean, anxious and/or guilty.  The word we are talking about has two letters AND is a full sentence.

Have you guessed it yet?  Yes…no…maybe so.  Well it definitely is one of these three options and if you are a Burnout Queen you need to learn to say NO fast.  There we said it!

This is a vital communication skill both at work and in your personal life.  By learning to say No, you set limits for yourself and others.  Say No out loud if…

— you are taking on more than you can manage

— your deadlines are unreasonable and unrealistic

— you feel stretched to be in 3 different places at once

Come on give it a go and learn to say No.  You’ll end up saying YES TO SANITY!

The Burnout Queens xx

The Burnout Pups Weekend Wisdom

a caring hug1Happy Friday from our little Burnout Pup who has been under the weather these past few days… he has an important question for you.  If  you’re the one always looking after everyone else’s needs, desires and health he wants to know…

“When you’re sick & can’t care for your people…who cares for you!?”

Love from the Burnout Pups xx

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