Dr Bev

Co-owner, The Burnout Queens

I Don’t Do Perfect When It Comes To Hoovering

hoovering

There I was hurriedly hoovering yesterday when I ran out of cord. Do I run up the stairs and move it down or….hmm, I thought, “Do I really have to reach every nook and corner down here?” To which my inner voice yelled a resounding “No!” Then I heard a surprisingly funny thought, “I don’t do perfect when it comes to hoovering!”

Next thoughts? “What can I do ‘perfect’ on then? When is ‘perfect’ allowable? Can I be a selective perfectionist?” (Yes, if you are wondering, I do often have conversations with my Self like this! It’s an HSP thing!)

This is what I came up with. I go for ‘perfect’ when I am editing or following a recipe, stuff like that. Of course it doesn’t necessarily mean it comes out perfectly. Ideas, for instance, are never perfect and the best of recipes can certainly fail.

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I gave up perfectionism decades ago! What a relief. However, I will unapologetically try for ‘perfect’ on some things, like making sure there are no typos in this article. (Now I know for sure some perfectionist out there is going to search for one…should I give them one?)

Now I decide pro-actively what I choose to be ‘perfect’ about. This is vastly different than believing from the bottom of my soul that I am not good enough unless I am ‘perfect’. Perfect at what? Perfect how? Perfect when? I never could answer these questions.

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Now I am a selective perfectionist. I put it down to having a good sense of ‘meaningful control’ in my life. This is one of our most helpful concepts when working with women, especially HSPs, who are burned out. This concept evolved from my own struggles with burnout and perfectionism in the past. Having embraced it also means I’m pretty ok with goofing-up because if you want to get something ‘perfect’, say choosing a paint colour for a room, then if you are anything like me, it might take a few tries! In the past, not finding the perfect colour on the first go would have been a personal failure. Now, I’m more likely to laugh or cringe. Hey…it’s just paint.

So, there is an upside to boring hoovering, it’s good for thinking about stuff… even unperfect ideas like this.

Here’s one great tip!

Our challenge for you is to be a selective perfectionist. Start by loving your ‘perfect’ side. Know what it’s great for!

Then make a list of no more than 5 things that you are happy to be ‘perfect’ about, even if it means doing it over and over again. Of course you will make mistakes, you can’t be perfect without them. Next list a few things off the top of your head that you vow you will never try to be perfect about again! There. that’s meaningful control.

Next time someone says “You shouldn’t try to do something perfectly”, just smile knowingly. Carry on and be perfect!

Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!
Dr Toby & Dr Bev

Will my workday ever end?

leaving workThis is one of the big woes for our clients–trying to get away from the office on time at the end of the workday

Leaving work is a tough call.  With the best of intentions, it just usually doesn’t happen the way you planned it.  You’ve got things to finish off, meetings to attend that you know will take you into your free time and make you late for something.  Or, you will feel guilty leaving on-time when others are staying behind to work.

No winning this is there!  There are consequences to this stressful time.  Staying late and leaving beyond the usual end of day, means you have a longer commute ahead of you, you’ll get home later, perhaps skip dinner, perhaps miss those moments with the family that count to you most!

This is far too common in our busy workday worlds.

So what’s an exhausted, stressed woman to do?  You may want to consider this (and you’ll get over the initial guilt surprisingly quickly when you see it works for you)

Plan to leave work at the end of the day.  (we think this would be the moment between work and overtime!)

-Make ‘the end of the day’ a distinct hour that is normal for your business, otherwise you don’t know what you are aiming for. (you know, the time it states in the employee manual)

-With the hour in mind, stop working 30 minutes beforehand.  Write it in your calendar, phone, anything that will ‘ring’ or ‘pop up’ on your computer to remind you when this time arrives.

-Start organising your desk and your to-do list for tomorrow, and then………..

GET OUT OF THERE…you might just give yourself enough time to enjoy your evening.

Now, repeat this each day for the next few weeks and you will quickly reap the rewards and benefits (and your business will too)

Always remember, Grab Life by the Crown!   with love The Burnout Queens xx

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