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Overwhelm and Setting Limits, a BOQ response

August 28, 2015

vintage-burnout-queens-blk We had a request from one of our fabulous readers, about any materials on overwhelm and setting limits to ensure a less stressful and frustrating day, week, month. Well, let’s recap with these 3 articles we wrote.

Overwhelmed? Get a Manicure appeared April 25th on our blog https://theburnoutqueens.com/overwhelmed-get-a-manicure/

Another great article of ours in Huffington Post (April 9th/15) was about being so overwhelmed with various ‘things’ to be done that you end up doing nothing. We call this flatlining. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/…/burning-out-on-under-per…/

And finally another of our articles from Huffington Post (May 8/15) on the 4 Emotional Themes of Overwhelm which helps you understand what emotions we react to that press the overwhelm buzzer:https://theburnoutqueens.com/4-emotional-themes-of-overwhelm/

STAY TUNED, there are several more articles about to be published on the subject of overwhelm and stress coming to our readers this Autumn/Fall.

Hope this helps xx

Knee Socks At 40? Oh My!

August 22, 2015

Now if knee socks is your style, we just want to say Brava to you, work it all the way! On the other hand, if you have just gotten busy, distracted, or waylaid over the last few decades, knee socks at 40 could be a clue that it is time to update your self-identity! It might just be time to rethink the ‘Who Am I?’ question…as well as your wardrobe (“Just saying” as our lovely American assistant would chime in!)

When you think about who you are you give yourself permission to reflect on the Big Picture: Where am I headed? What’s important to me? What do I want for my life? What is my life work?

Now, that’s pretty heady stuff because your answers form the core, the foundation, of how you are in the world, your way of being. Your answers hint at how you face-up to the pressures, challenges, and demands in life. It would be sad if life was just about pressures and challenges, the Burnout Queens believe wholeheartedly that life is about adventure, discovery, and change. It goes without saying…

When you know who you are you can embrace the beauty, opportunities, and possibliities that arise in life to surprise and delight you.

If you have forgotten (or avoided) hitting the ‘refresh button’ on your self-definition chances are you’re not wearing matching socks. You see, when your outside doesn’t ‘match’ your inside it causes no end of confusion, for you and for others. You know where I’m going with this right, without consistency and congruency in your self-definition the ensuing confusion leads to mistakes about who you are, misunderstandings, and misjudgements! There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that those of us who are highly sensitive, quirky, creative (or just dancing to our own melody) hate more than being misunderstood or misjudged. It’s exhausting! We end up explaining ourselves till everyone glazes over, and that is…well boring! (If you get stuck in that ferris wheel of explaining yourself over and over, read our feature article ‘You Are the Jewel in Your Crown’ so you can get off that ride!)

My Darling, ‘boring’can never be included in the
‘Who Am I?’ of you!

Alright, so we have to talk knee highs again. You know you don’t only figure out the ‘Who am I?’ agenda one time when you’re 13 and that’s that! Even though I must say my 13 year old self had a pretty bold sense of style, it was the swinging 60s! (Do you know in recent years I have actually seen some of my very own teenage outfits in fashion retrospectives in museums! It certainly gives one pause…) Anyway I digressed, back to the plot…

It’s essential to keep uncovering, rediscovering, and recreating your knowledge and understanding of yourself.
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Every stage of life, each new decade, brings many many opportunities to update your self-definition. It doesn’t matter how ‘old’ you are! We need to embrace them all, good and bad, because the truth about who you are changes from decade to decade based on these life experiences, how you understand things differently, and from your ever expanding perspective of the world, hey the universe!

Now maybe your self-definition will only require a few tweaks, or maybe you will want to do a whole new re-do! Brand new answers to brand new questions! Marvellous! Fabulous! Now that is completely Burnout Queen style!

You know as you let go of the old, outworn bits of you, those beyond their ‘best by’ date, you open-up space in your life to create new aspects of yourself. You create room and energy for the new you to flourish.

If you want to stay inspired you need to stay fresh!
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It’s all you, my love, evolving, learning, changing, growing…you thriving and flourishing. Yes, it is of paramount importance to keep your self-identity up to date! If you don’t well, what can I say, that’s when you end up wearing knee socks at 40 (and, shhh, between you and me, not a good look!).

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box bel

It’s All About The Eyeliner!

June 26, 2015

Early morning start, dog walk, dog breakfast, human breakfast (never skip breakfast, a BOQ rule if you want to beat burnout), a quick second cup of tea with the news and it’s time to get myself ‘ready’ for the day. Feeling a little ‘morning lazy’ so thought “I’ll skip the eyeliner” but one last glance in the mirror made me think “ I look unfinished”. On went the eyeliner, ready to meet the world! (Now before you get huffy thinking ‘eyeliner doesn’t make the woman’ well of course you’re right, but red lipstick and eyeliner does it for me!). It’s absolutely not about the eyeliner it’s about that little extra effort that can raise your experience out of the ordinary.

There’s a problem here because as women we so easily get trapped doing ‘extras’ for others but not making that same effort for ourselves. When we don’t go that little extra distance for ourselves we subtly give ourselves the message that we aren’t worth the effort. Well, we are here to say…

It’s simply not right that we ‘make do’ while saving all the extras for others.
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Oh it may not always be convenient to find the time or the energy for that extra, but far too much of our world has become about convenience. Convenient doesn’t always mean better or easier and it certainly often doesn’t equate with beautiful or soulful. You need to get beyond a mindset of ‘this will do’ when it comes to you. You need to reflect your gorgeous energy into the world.

It’s time my darlings for you to become mindful of what you desire, what delights you, and what just plain feels good so you can make them your extras!

When you live from a place of positiveness, optimism and spirit… when you take the time and energy to add that little something extra (yes, like my eyeliner) you are saying to yourself (and to the world)…

What I have to offer is meaningful. I am an important part of the ‘bigger picture’.
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If you are feeling stuck in the mundane and ordinary…do something extra today! Your metaphorical eyeliner can spur creativity, open up new opportunities, and create wider vistas.

You will feel more powerful within yourself when you treat yourself like you matter. When you treat yourself with value. Your effort is a direct mirror of your self-worth and self-approval.

Are you ready for a Burnout Queen shout out? Let’s be heard Queenies…

“I take pride in myself. I have confidence. I am a serious contender. I will not settle for mediocre or mundane! It’s my time to make that effort. Time to defy ordinary!”

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

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Don’t Become a Boring Betty

June 12, 2015

Do you feel like you are sleepwalking through your day…maybe your life? Maybe that’s because you have fallen into a routine of the same old-same old. What’s wrong with routine? Nothing, absolutely nothing, except that most women fear that routine will turn them into Boring Betty! We believe it is the opposite. At the Burnout Queens we are BIG believers in routine. Why you ask? That’s easy!

Having a solid foundation of routine in your life lets you shake it up!

You can turn the hourglass upside down, paint your nails neon pink instead of shell pink, and go for the espresso instead of the decaf, soy latte, hold the syrup! Routine gives you the break-out factor. If you already have that foundation of routine quietly and unobtrusively laying the groundwork in the background you’re free to go ahead and do the unexpected and your life will not fall apart, not even fray around the edges.

Did you seriously think that we would advocate living a dull, monotonous, uninspired and routine-heavy life? How could we! These Burnout Queens just packed up their entire life once again and moved it to the seaside! Just the other day in a quiet reflective HSP moment I found myself asking myself (something like this…) “Self, how do we do it? How can we just pack up our lives, move on and carry on really not missing a beat? Come on Self, what’s our secret?” (Yes, to answer your question, I do often muse with myself this way).

Well, here’s our secret, we live a cultivated life. I borrowed the word ‘cultivated’ from Thomas Moore author of ‘A Life At Work’ (which, by the way, if you haven’t read, you must). I love the word ‘cultivated’ because I think of a garden, a cared for and well tended garden, not perfect, but not overrun; a garden that is healthy and thriving, you can tell it is loved and nourished by the way it shows its beauty. As a gardener, I know you cannot ask a garden to flourish without routines. You could see the watering and weeding as ‘boring’ or you could experience them as ‘soul-ful’.

‘Cultivated’, yes that is the perfect word: planned, prepared, instructed, nourished, tended, cultured, created and cherished. That kind of perfectly describes the life we set out to create post-burnout. Our life has this bedrock of quiet routine that gives it a rhythm and equilibrium. Sometimes that rhythm sound pop, sometimes its Latin jazz, sure throw in some rap, and maybe an aria or two. So, far from making life dull, mundane, predictable or boring we use that quiet rhythm of routine to connect us to our life whether it is watering the patio each evening, Sunday breakfast out, early morning dog walks or doing the daily coffee run.

Sometimes simple routine things give you the freedom to defy ordinary!
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If you feel like you are sleepwalking through your life don’t blame the mundane, no no no, shake it up, take chances, make choices, expect the unexpected and have adventures. Shake up your attitude and embrace routine. Cultivated your life and wake-up to what you want, desire, and dream of creating.

Here’s one great tip:

What things that drive you batty over the week? Make them routine.

Say…grocery shopping, what a hassle! Make it routine. What if you stopped on your way home on Friday evening (yes even as tired as you are)? That means food for the weekend, no Saturday morning crowds to fight, instead enjoying that extra morning cuppa along with a lovely weekend treat you picked up on your now routine Friday shop!

Let’s take another, something I always forget to do, scheduling self-maintenance (haircuts, manicures, pedicures, facials, dental or medical appointments) well in advance. So much easier than scrambling last minute with an already squeezed calendar!

Once you start browsing through your week or month to see where you could start creating that gentle foundation in your life you will be amazed at what you can easily make routine and how it frees you up to enjoy!

One last thing to make an absolute routine…time to dream about all the adventures you will now have time for.

Add your wise words to the mix. Share your gentle routines with us all on the Facebook space below.

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

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Turn Stress On Its Head

May 30, 2015

Seriously, this last month I wanted two of me (or perhaps three if you include the one who just wants to ‘do tea’ and doddle in the garden) but I’d settle for two. I’m sure you have weeks (or months) like that as well when you just can’t figure out how to get it all done. Well there I was, mid yoga stretch (relax, breathe into the pose, let it go…) when it hit me, I could fret it or fight it but ultimately what I really need to do is simply turn stress on its head.

Relax and breathe into that daily stretch
called life.
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Most of us want to make our lives more flexible, relaxed and harmonious, but it feels impossibly hard to do that with all the daily pressures, challenges, demands, not to mention the constant time squeeze we all feel. Fact is, we cause lots of that daily stress by going too fast, cramming too much in, jumping when everybody else clicks their fingers, stretching in too many directions, way too many directions, and sometimes when life just gets in the way of life! (Like right now when I settled down to finish this newsletter for you all and the security firm arrived to test all the fire alarms! Ah Life…)

Now in the past my reaction to the pressure would have been to get all tensed up, annoyed and worried. In turn I’d furiously attempt to get more focused, work faster, add another task to my list (duh go figure that one!), in short dig in and push harder. Hey, that’s what made me the perfect Burnout Queen! Of course, none of this proved remarkably effective, instead it simply added to my sense of overwhelm.

I love the idea of breathing into life; deeply inhaling all life has to offer (yes, stress and all, that’s why it’s called life) then relaxing on the exhale while you let it all go. Imagine (no, seriously, close your eyes and imagine…) not feeling the resistance, not feeling the pressure, not feeling squeezed. Could it be that we could actually stretch further, be more flexibile, experience more flow in life and at the same time gain in strength and resilience? Now that’s turning stress on it’s head and that’s exactly what comes from accepting that life can be simpler, more breathable so to speak.

Imagine replacing resistance with harmony and peace.
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We can all stretch and reach farther than we ever thought we could without encountering the chaos and overwhelm of tension, stress and ultimately burnout. Take that full breath in, breathe out and let your body, mind and your soul fill and flow with new ideas, new dreams, new directions, or maybe a whole new way of being.

Be cool with life…

Here’s one great tip:

The next time the ‘alarm bells’ ring in your life do the opposite to your natural reflex of digging in and working harder. Stop what you’re doing, walk away from it and breathe. Everytime you exhale…let it go. It’s life.

Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!

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