There is no escaping it, there is a lot of real stuff to feel unhappy about these days. There’s the whole global mess: conflicts, unemployment, terrorism, crime, economics, and, dare we forget, politics! On an individual basis we all have challenges and worries to deal with: jobs, children, health, relationships, finances, and general life woes. There is no denying it, there is definitely enough unhappiness to go around. Being Highly Sensitive means we take it all to heart and some days it feels like a stretch to believe in ‘good’. Now that’s gloomy, but I have good news…
You, my love, were born ready for happiness.
Now, I have to be honest and say that I am a convert to happiness. When I was little I didn’t fit my family’s definition of happy. I was quiet, shy, introverted, and creative. I wasn’t a boisterous child, I was happiest with my nose in a book or daydreaming while I watched the clouds. I grew up being told that I was ‘unhappy’ and I believed it. So I was always kind of confused about happiness, what exactly was it and where could I get some?
Many of us who are Highly Sensitive feel the elusiveness of ‘happy’ and worry that they can never ‘find’ it. Some get caught up “chasing” happiness hoping to find it in more money, new things, new jobs, new relationships, or physical perfection. Others even find themselves chasing happiness down rabbit holes with alcohol, drugs or even medications. Needless to say, you’re not going to find happiness there. Still others sigh and give up believing it’s just not in the stars for them.
It’s only when you stop running after happiness that you can simply allow yourself to be happy. Happiness is never found ‘out there’ it quietly resides deep within you, at the very centre of your being.
Happiness doesn’t come and go.
Happiness is always there.
The idea of happiness as a constant has some backup. It has been suggested that we have a set-point for happiness, a thermostat if you like. Regardless of what goes on in our life, regardless of our age, our basic level of happiness stays relatively constant. Yup, we are happy whether we know it or not! Even when life stuff happens and your ‘happy thermostat’ takes a hit, it will reset!
It’s about belief. If we believe that being happy is a natural state we are more likely to allow ourselves to experience a sense of joy. If you are ‘rusty’ at being happy you may have to make a conscious decision each and every day to experience happy. You don’t have to work hard at it, so no groaning about having to add something else to your list, you simply have to remember that you were born to be happy. Maybe it’s as simple as taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect on the ‘happy moments’ you have had.
I’m not saying that you are going to ‘be’ happy all the time. Goodness knows, being Highly Sensitive makes you more aware of the many not so happy things going on all around you and that has a definite effect on your psyche. However, we can still view the world, make decisions, and act from a place of happiness just as much as we can from a place of fear.
Only you have the key to your unique style of happiness. You can’t be wrong with happiness! Just remember, happiness is not found in what you do, what you have, how you look, who you are with, or where you live. Happiness is found in you.
Let happiness happen.