Huffington Post

Spring Cleaning HSP-style

spring clean

When Spring arrived,  everyone was talking about spring-cleaning the house, the garden, washing the car, mending the curtains and fixing the fence!  All of that sounds lovely and inspiring and encouraging.  It will make us feel better to put the new paint on the walls, get the old out and make room for the new.

Of course, that got me thinking.  All those make-overs outside ourselves will make us happier and feel more organised, but dear one, what if we take that concept and apply it just to little-old-you!  Have you spring cleaned your life yet?

Yes, let’s spring clean you!  Whoosh that sounds kinda weird, but before you get offended, why not try freshening your ‘self’ up this spring.

Spring may be the perfect time to take stock of yourself and give a heave-hoe to the old stuff and a welcome mat to the new!

Here are 8 challenges that will give you and your life a fresh-air newness.

  1. Challenge your brain.  Make a new routine to your day.
  2. Challenge your emotions.  Create new rituals (not chores) that you enjoy.
  3. Challenge your spirit. Clear your energy by saying kinder things to you and others (get rid of the swearing and cursing, it doesn’t become a queen).
  4. Challenge your perspective. Look for positives in your life and bin the negatives.
  5. Challenge your heart.  Send your outworn styles to charity.  Give some other woman less fortunate the opportunity to feel beautiful.
  6. Challenge your creativity.  Make a beautiful space, even if it’s a little corner or small surface.  Air freshener that makes you smile, candle that calms, colours you love, most classy-comfy armchair to curl up in.
  7. Challenge your self.  Take pictures of yourself and see what others see.  If you don’t like what you see, change her!
  8. Challenge your desire.  Start a piggy-bank for anything you want it to be for.  Keep investing in your dream, who knows when that little piggy will crack!

Remember you need to put yourself on the spring clean list every year, along with all the household cleaning.    What better way to ensure you feel alive and invigorated again.  After all, isn’t that what Spring is all about?

Challenge You.  Clear the clutter and feel the freedom!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Fail with Flair! | The Power of Failure

Fail with Flair | The Power of Failure

We just bet that you never thought the Burnout Queens would be talking about failure.  After all, we are known to be ‘glass half full’ kind of women.  Promise, we won’t disappoint, we shall remain optimistic even in the face of failure.

Failure is inescapable and necessary.  Seriously, failure is actually good for you!  It gives you practice for life ‘cause after all, life is all about trial and error.  Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we simply don’t.  So, as far as we can see…

If you don’t know how to fail,
well you don’t know how to live.
{tweet this}

We all have the skill to fail and make the most of it.  Did we say “skill to fail”?  Mon Dieu!  Oh sure, you can be a sloppy mistake maker but that’s not Burnout Queen style.  We prefer you fail with flair and you can do that.  Just embrace the Power of Failure and you come away bigger and bolder.

Failure expands your repertoire.

To make failure work for you, you have to understand it.   There are a few different ways in which you can fail, for instance, idea-wise.  Maybe your original idea is flawed or weak.  The more you work on it the more you realise it’s going nowhere.  Now this is a good thing to know because you can get out while the going’s good!  (You won’t believe how many articles get zapped with the ‘delete’ button!)

Then there are times you can suffer a failure of judgement!  Oh yes, we have all had moments when better judgement eludes us!  Maybe you trusted someone else’s judgement over your own or maybe you didn’t listen to your inner knowledge.  Whatever the reason, cringe and move on!

You know sometimes we ‘fail’ just because we haven’t got the necessary skill or ability to pull something off.  Easy two options…outsource or upgrade your skills.  No failure in that!

Now here’s another important confession about failure…it hurts!  No denying it, failure is ‘icky’ (that’s a clinical term by the way!).  It is frustrating and it can be embarrassing.  So go ahead, sit down and nurse your insults with cake and chocolate then get over it.  It is life, and failure is going to happen again…and again…and, yes likely, again.  Be human, give yourself permission to goof-up and even look foolish.  Then learn from it.  That’s the best way you get your courage back if failure has made you lose your nerve.

You have to defy failure if you want to defy ordinary!
{tweet this}

Remember, many of our failures exist only in our gorgeous heads!  Private failures so to speak.  Go ahead and have as many of these as you can.  Stop thinking of them as ‘wrong or misled’ and think of them as ‘first tries, first drafts, or first kick at the can!’  Ideas have to evolve and ripen before they see daylight.  Dress them up any way you want ‘cause no one but you sees them!

The experience of failure is profoundly personal.  One person’s failure is another’s success!

There are really only a couple of responses to failure; stick with the old or try something new.  You don’t need a perfect solution to every problem, you don’t even need to fix every failure.  One of the joys of failure is that you can literally wipe it away with a grande gesture and start afresh.  And that’s why…

Failure can be energising!  In fact if you let it, failure can be the messenger of great change.  When you recognise where and when you have tried and ‘failed’ you will begin to see new opportunities to try again or maybe try a totally new direction in the future.

With failure you can release the status quo and create newness in your life.

Understanding that we can fail with strength is important to both Burnout Queens and Highly Sensitive Women (often one and the same)!  When we are highly sensitive we tend to weight the ‘failure’ side or our life equation much more heavily than the success side.  We need to balance that scale…or burnout.

Fail privately.  Fail publicly.  Fail as many times as you want, but never, ever, apologise for failing.  Fail with pizzazz!  Own your failure proudly, then dust yourself off, straighten your crown and elegantly stride on!

Hey do you hear that noise?

That’s The Universe applauding your boldness!

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

Divine Madness | Love Your Work!

divine-madness-banner

The Burnout Queens love Love; big Love, small Love, puppy Love!  Of course we are talking about Love today, check the date!  (There are times we love to be predictable!)  In past years we’ve ‘done’ Love (with a capital L), we’ve definitely talked about self-love and yes we have even explored the steamy kind, but love of work, loving what you do, is not necessarily the dot that gets connected to hearts and flowers.

Plato referred to love as ‘divine madness’ and Freud believed that two of the most important aspects of life were love and work.  So is it madness to believe you need to love your work to be healthy and happy?  The Burnout Queens don’t think so!

We have a very real need to love what we do… our work, the product, our art, our contribution and our success.
[tweet this]

If we connect love with work we should expect big moments of passion, true calling, momentous insights, or at least a big ‘kissy fest’ with our colleagues all the time…right?   Not necessarily so.

It can be a challenge to notice signs, big or small, of the kind of love that means your work is engaging your soul.  These signs often hide in the everyday, the mundane, the tedious and the commonplace.  So what exactly are you looking for?

Well, when you work with mindfulness you begin to identify signs of loving what you do: a moment of pride for a well done job; a rush of warmth, understanding or caring toward a co-worker;  the comfortable familiarity of an everyday task; the old books on the shelves in the boardroom; taking a moment to ‘see’ the painting you love on your office wall, the view outside your window; knowing you are doing ‘good’ work or providing for your life and family.

Here are some moments of love in my work:

black-heart15Typing this draft with my soul-dog on my lap (not great for my posture but fab for my heart),
black-heart15Receiving a ‘Hello here’s what I’m up to!’ from a long-ago (but never forgotten) client,
black-heart15Having an ‘ah hah moment’ when two seemingly diverse ideas collide and become something new...BIG LOVE!
black-heart15Writing that flows from the heart.
black-heart15A hot cup of tea and biscuit on the corner of my desk.
black-heart15Being ‘told’ to take a break by a ball dropped on my foot or thrown down the stairwell followed by barking!
black-heart15Receiving baby pictures, pet pictures, family pictures from clients new and old.
black-heart15Taking a brain-break by editing something already written (ah relax).
black-heart15Dropping a quick “Thinking of you” to a client for no reason other than to connect.
black-heart15Hearing the birds in the tree outside my window.
black-heart15Looking up to see the picture of Dad on my bookshelf.
black-heart15Stopping to read the Burnout Queens Desiderata (You mean you haven’t got one? Join the Realm Darlings!)

Let’s be honest we can all lose the love of our work from time to time! 

There will be days you don’t feel like showing up, but don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you don’t love what you do!

Stress, pressures, deadlines, dreaded tasks, the evil boss or conniving colleague, or just the tedium of the everyday can trick even the most enlightened and sensitive amongst us into missing (or possibly avoiding or ignoring) many opportunities to connect with the love of what you do.

In the BIG picture we all want to be happy at work.  We want our work to be engaging, pleasurable and fun at times.  We truly want to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the wellbeing of others in the world.  That sense of contributing is love personified.

Yes there are times when we drag ourselves ‘to the office’ moaning, but there are other times when maybe life is in turnoil that work becomes a place of refuge, a sanctuary.  Just the other day a client whose world has been turned upside down said it so clearly, “Thank goodness for my work, it’s keeping me sane!”  There was a time that my office became my retreat, my haven of peace, from family illness, crises and loss.  It was physically a peaceful and serene place, I loved my clients, and when ‘in session’ I was unavailable to the outside world!  What’s not to love.

Even if you aren’t currently in your ideal job or career, allow yourself to love aspects of what you are doing.

Finding love for what you do in the present doesn’t mean you can’t dream about the future and embrace change when it comes.
[tweet this]

Love for your work, in whatever nooks and crannies you can find it, opens up your imagination, your creativity and awakens your soul.

Being a highly sensitive woman means you were delightfully designed to find work you love but first you have to find love in your work. 

 

From our hearts to yours…Happy Valentines Day!

 

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

Time to take a break when…

sleepy puppy1It was definitely time to take a break…

 

The Burnout Queens took a week out to drop off the work scene.  It was definitely time!  If it’s one thing I have learnt over my long career it’s time to take a break when…

    1. I want to stay in bed and  pull the duvet up over my head
    2. I want to do anything but sit at my desk
    3. I want to do anything but speak with my dear clients
    4. I want to retire and move to a quiet beach (oh wait I’ve done some of that!)
    5. I find myself crankie at the dogs for everything (even when they are being cute)
    6. I find myself dreading ‘calling home’ to speak to my 99 year old mother
    7. I can’t catch a train to London because of weather or no petsitter (no cultural play makes me very grumpy)
    8. I can’t stand being around people and noise (my Dietrich moments)
    9. I can’t focus for more than a few seconds (unless it’s a puzzle and I’m obsessed)

 

I’m sure you get the idea.  And I’m doubly sure you recognise many of these for yourself!  Better to take a break and gather my steam again so that I can be creative, present and enjoyable to be around.  Of course, breaks are always announced to clients after looking at the calendar, asking them to change their call dates (seldom do this, but…) and clearing the decks of responsibility.

I’m pleased to say that I didn’t decide to pack a million and one things into 7 days, but I did some very pleasant sightseeing and tea sipping at my leisure.  You could say a curative rest.  It was a good plan and the feedback from my community says Dr T and I are great role models for taking care of ourselves and not burning out.  Well that’s the idea anyway!

Next time you find yourself feeling the same way, take yourself away and rest up.  Take it from these 2 docs, “You could just prevent yourself from  burning out!”

Love, Dr B (The Burnout Queens) xx

1 2 3 4 … 23

Photography: Caroline True Photography | Illustration by Veronica Miller | Site Design: Kim McDaniels | Disclaimer