Dr Bev Dr Toby Silverton McLagan Coaching frazzled exhaustion overwhelm women’s health work-life balance perfectionism. symptoms of burnout

Soul Burnout: Being an HSP in Painful Times

Soul Burnout: Being an HSP in Painful Times

“What is this world coming to?  What has happened to humanity?  I don’t understand…”

These days we are hearing these sentiments from oh so many of our Highly Sensitive Burnout Queens.  The anger, suffering and pain in the world, the apparent lack of love, the disbelief that human beings can be indifferent to each other, and we would add the way some humans treat animals with such disregard, and let’s not forget our poor planet!  Well it makes us all very sad and weary.  Sigh…….

Maybe you are experiencing something similar, a sense of disillusionment, a loss of faith in humanity, the feeling that nothing makes sense anymore.  And you know, all that makes us feel insecure, kind of nervous, anxious and uneasy.  To say it is disappointing is a massive understatement, the international events of the last few weeks leave many of us feeling totally disheartened to say the least!

At times you may feel that there is nothing left to believe in…there is.

We see this as a kind of ‘soul burnout’.  When you are Highly Sensitive it can feel like the weight of the world, the pain of the world, resides within you.   Sometimes you just don’t know what to do with it and end up feeling powerless and, yes, definitely hopeless.  So what can you do?

Well, crowns off to those courageous and bold souls who head off into dangerous places to offer aid and care to both humans and animals in need.  My heart swells with joy and gratitude with the knowledge that such brave individuals exist!  Then there are the rest of us…

We may not be ready to take a heroic stance, but we can live with Everyday Spirituality.  Everyday Spirituality doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t necessarily encompass grand gestures, it doesn’t even have to be called anything specific with a Capital Letter.  We believe that everyone can embace life and live each and every day with meaning and purpose.   Oh don’t get all worried about ‘finding your purpose’ (that’s way too heady for us!) all you have to remember is to…

Live your life in the pursuit of compassion, kindness, beauty, understanding and love in your own unique way

Shine your HSP light into the world.  Do not live in fear.  Always strive for your Highest Dream regardless of how futile it can sometimes feel in this shocking world.

Imagine. Create. Believe.

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

PPS!  Won’t you join The Burnout Queens for Afternoon Tea this month?  Exclusive member only event. 

 

Afternoon Tea & Talk in The RealmThe Realm is having an Afternoon Tea Talk on November 30th, 2015.  Dr Toby and Dr Bev will be discussing what it means to Defy Ordinary, how to actually do it, and answer all your questions.  It doesn’t matter where you live on the planet, it’s on video so you won’t miss a thing.  The video will be viewed online with a private link…but you must be a member to join us.

Ready to create a bigger, better and bolder you?  Join us for tea and talk

NOW is the Capital City of Aware! (How to Get Present)

How to get present

“I want to be more present, I want to live in the now!”  No problem!  No, seriously, it’s time to stop making ‘presence’ a problem in your life or something else you consider yourself not very good at.  You can’t get this one wrong!  It’s simple (now you know The Burnout Queens like simple) all you have to do is to turn up your awareness because…

You are already living in Now!

It all goes terribly ‘wrong’ when you think you should, ought to, or need to be present.  You can’t think your way to being present!  So, what does ‘being present’ or as we prefer ‘living in Now’ actually mean?

Well lovelies, Now is simply a state of being conscious and aware.

Living in Now is to be experienced, not thought about or analysed, and Now is definitely not about doing.  In fact our cultural obsession with doing takes us away from Now.  You are right here in Now, even right now so to speak!  All you have to do is learn to pay attention on purpose!

Many of you want to know ‘how’ to live in Now, so here is the one really important thing to remember, you must pay attention without judgement!  Oh we can hear you groaning, but it’s not as hard as you think.  The minute you hear yourself editorialising about your experience you’ve left Now and travelled into the land of should of, could of, would of, if only or what if…none of which have anything to do with Now.  When you start time travelling, ask yourself…

What’s happening right Now?  What’s real right Now?

Sometimes it’s difficult realising how ‘in Now’ we really are because we get lost by constantly running off into the future or into the past.  If you want to enjoy living today you have to stop ruminating and worrying about what’s happening tomorrow or next week or resenting or regretting what did or didn’t happen yesterday.

We can remember the past and plan for the future, but the only place we can live in is Now!
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Living in Now is not a difficult skill.  It’s not going to take years of learning some new philosophy or form of meditation.  It takes a bit of extra effort to pay attention at first, like anything new, and you have to have patience with yourself.  Beyond that, we know that as soon as this idea ‘clicks’ for you it will become pretty natural.

Try any of these tiny, simple ways to entice your consciousness back to Now.  For instance, while sitting at my desk right now I can,

♦       Take a big deep breath (instantly brings you into your body)

♦       Ask, ‘Am I physically comfortable or stiff and achey?’

♦       Look out the window and actually see the weather, trees, birds

♦       Ask, ‘Am I hungry or thirsty?’

♦       Check, ‘Has my office become too cold or warm?’

♦       ‘Tune in’ and listen to the classical piece on the radio.

These are all about pausing and cueing yourself to the present by observing ‘how’ you are at that particular moment in time.  With consistency this way of staying aware will literally become a no-brainer.  It will, in fact, become automatic and natural.

You can also practice being more actively aware in small ways.  For instance I can stop and:

♦       Run my hands over the arms of my chair and feel of the wood.

♦       Quietly watch my breath rise and fall for a few minutes.

♦       Look around my desk and observe… the antique lamp I love, the ‘smiling pig’ birthday card, my ‘goal’ post it note to self, and my Grandpa’s old letter opener.

The secret to being present is believing that whatever you are experiencing or doing at this very moment in time, big or small, is important.

Living in Now, starts as a skill that needs a bit of practice and then blossoms into a beautiful natural way of being in your world.  Here’s my confession, I am a true thinking, reflecting, analysing HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) so it’s pretty easy for me to drift off into my thoughts and ideas.  So whether it’s gently bringing myself back to a conversation or task or staying in touch with my physical, emotional and spiritual self, living in Now is something I actively and consciously practice and enjoy each and every day.

Here’s another little secret, many of our Burnout Queens talk about needing more focus in their day or in their lives in general.  Well, live in Now and you ARE focused!  Plain and simple!

You may have noticed that we have capitalised Now, kind of like it’s the capital city of Aware!  Well, that’s because we want you to consider it a wonderful place to BE, think of it kind of like the emerald city of Oz.

For it to work in the world of the Burnout Queens it has to be simple, practical, inspirational, and yes quirky!  We want you to be able to simply say to yourself ‘Go to Now’.  After all, when you live in Now,

Now IS now!

So click your ruby red heels and BE there…or be square!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

The Burnout Queens | Dr Toby and Dr Bev

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

PPS!  The Burnout Queens have a special invitation waiting for you…

We would love you to be part of our exclusive members only club for women, The Realm!

the-realm-invitation

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