symptoms of burnout | The Burnout Queens

Good things come in small packages!

April 13, 2016

Well, The Burnout Queens always say, if you’re waiting for the BIG things in life to make it worthwhile, you may be waiting a long time.

This beauty bundle arrived in a cardboard box today. We totally expected to get our order of teas from the department store we love (Fortnum & Mason) in London. It’s one of the little pleasures and indulgences we allow ourselves. We’ve been having it delivered to our seaside home for over a year now and was just expecting to unpack the box of teas.

Surprise and delight…this little beauty box was thrown in unannounced and unexpected. What do they say, good things come in small packages. Well F & M delivered. A little box of truffles…a small bit of luxury in an otherwise ordinary workday.

We are convinced more than ever, that it’s the small everyday events that add up to a pleasurable life.

Someone put the kettle on, we’ll all have tea!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

4 Ways You Don’t Know Something

April 8, 2016

Why do I always have to know what the answer is!?!

If you find this question familiar. If everyone always looks to you to know the answer to something. And if you don’t want to know something for once in your life…. here are 4 super ways to decline knowing and not feel the guilt. Repeat after me!

4 Ways to Decline Knowing Something (no guilt)

BEATS ME!
YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE!
HAVEN’T A CLUE!
NOT MINE TO KNOW!

Put them in your little vocabulary book and the next time you’re exhausted and still someone wants you to come up with the answer, start repeating…

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

(excerpt from The Burnout Queens’ Postcard from The Realm) If you would like to receive more of The Realm’s wisdom every Sunday and learn to Defy Ordinary in your life, you are invited to join our free global women’s group by registering here. The Realm membership

Ditch the bucket list…get a jar

April 7, 2016

I am Fed Up with hearing everyone talk about their ‘bucket list’. This highly sensitive woman is asking you, “can we have a nicer image than a bucket for our visions, hopes and dreams?” As soon as I hear that word I have a fingers down a chalkboard moment! Buckets do not inspire me, nor do they motivate me to make any sort of list.

If you have ‘things you want to do before you die’ then a bucket list is helpful. You can tick them off, say you did them, show the snapshots, hopefully have a good time while you’re doing them. In my opinion these ‘things’ just add up as a fun to-do list that you can share or competitively compare with your family and friends.

Great for some, not for moi. I’m looking for something more meaningful and purpose-driven. I’m looking to expand ‘who’ I am, not ‘what’ I can do before the end of my life. And as a very visually inclined sensitive and creative woman I want it to ‘look beautiful in my mind’ so I get excited and inspired by the notion.

So what’s my alternative?

A Jar.

I can’t take credit for this brilliance (it was suggested in one of my women’s group) but it certainly made more sense and spoke to me in a way a bucket list never has.

Here’s how it works. As you experience things in your life that involve yourself, other people or occurences that enhanced you, changed you, made life happier, and you became wiser in the long term, then they get written on a piece of paper and put in your beautiful jar (vase, box, whatever place you wish to cherish your bliss). At the end of the year you can sit down with eggnog, champagne, or cup of tea and remember that your year had times of great meaning, connection and personal enhancement. You know, your accomplishments. It’s that simple, and that deep!

To me, a jar of meaningful experiences does more than a list of ‘things’. Don’t get me wrong, I know some of the papers will have ‘things’ I have done, but I will be remembering them as part of cultivating a well-lived life. My inner evolution!

Embrace Life, with love The Burnout Queens xx

Abandoning Myself to Pleasure

April 6, 2016

When I go to the theatre, I go for the full entertainment value: plot, costumes, songs, sets. From moment I enter the lobby, it’s the mood, the architecture, the decor and drinks, that transport me out of my real world and into the world of fantasy. It’s a lovely way to forget the biz, kids, worries and abandon myself to pleasure.

Sadly, others don’t share my experience and abandonment. It makes me sad to see them ‘bring their world’ with them, seemingly unable to let it go, even for a moments pleasure.

When they take their seats they look at the tiny screen in their hand instead of the beautiful architecture, or speaking with their companion. When the lights dim and the curtain starts to part, they are still sending their last minute text, email or photo instead of feeling the anticipation of what’s about to happen. At intermission they whip out their screens to catch up, reply and browse the world, instead of watching the audience, sipping a drink or enjoying their strawberry and ice treat (this is something I truly cannot comprehend).

At the end of the performance, I walk away having enjoyed myself, having experienced something new, having lived in the moment, having forgotten the outside world. Their experience is a very different story to mine.

I’ve learned to consciously embrace these moments. It’s one of the ways I live a burnout-proof lifestyle. I find it such a shame others cannot do the same…yet (I always hold out hope)!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Assertiveness For HSPs!

March 24, 2016

As a highly sensitive, intelligent and creative woman you may have a natural HSP tendency to ‘pause-to-check’. Brief overview, ‘pause-to-check’ comes from our need for a little caution.

We can use this to our advantage by turning it into what we call ‘pause-to-respond’ moments and banish the regret of not getting across your idea clearly. This way, when you do speak up you are heard perfectly! Here’s how:

5 quick ways to power up your pause-to-respond skill.

Buy time – Need a longer pause, be assertive with, “I’ll get back to you on that”.
Ask Self – Take your ‘pause’ moment to consider what you really want to say.
Silence can be golden. Maybe, just maybe, a non-response is the right way to go. Silence speaks volumes.
Own what you want to say – If you have already responded, but had second thoughts (or 100^th thought if an HSP!) return and re-say. “I’ve been thinking about what I said, and what I would have liked to say or truly meant was…”.
Respond thoughtfully – Take your time and don’t be rushed. You may feel like it’s forever, but it will only take you seconds longer to speak thoughtfully and mindfully.

If you found these 5 quick responses helpful and want more of our HSP-specific gems all you have to do is become a member of The Realm! and enjoy your postcards every Sunday.

The Realm!, is a free club for women who want to Defy Ordinary. We are creative, sensitive and ‘very’ global. Register here and receive your instant member’s access information.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx