Time (ime, ime, ime) is on my side…really?
Thank-you Rolling Stones for your reassuring words. In all truth, I have never felt at ease with time. Oh how I wish I did. From the moment I wake up until the time I go to sleep I feel ‘as if’ I’m at war with time. Strangely, my time tension has nothing real or practical to do with time.
If you are also an HSW (Highly Sensitive Woman) you may know exactly what I am talking about. Regardless of what you call it: time urgency, time pressure, chronic time stress, or time tension, it feels like “the wolves are at the door”. The pressure cooker of time makes me believe that I am never going to accomplish enough of anything.
Time tension, when unchecked, leaves me drained and breathless in a spiritual kind of way.
Time tension simply exists within me. It has nothing to do with a clock ticking, deadlines or even the ultimate fact that there are 24 hours in a day and nothing is going to change that. No, time tension reflects a lived experience of time: instead of feeling that time can flow easily I experience a squeezed anticipation of time. There aren’t a lot of real emotions associated with time tension, it’s just there. It feels like being in a race with no finish line in sight. If there were a real deadline at least I could worry, but my time tension is an illusion.
Today is a perfect example: no scheduled appointments, no expected interruptions (hopefully the planets are all aligned!), only 3 things on the ‘get done’ list, and yet as I write about time tension I feel it covertly settling into the armchair in my office waiting there for the opportunity to leap onto my back and intimidate me with time. It’s only purpose is to throw me into a tizz or make me freeze with fright. Time raises the spectre of disasters and failures; of not getting done what I need to get done. Thing is, it’s not true, I usually get done what I need to get done. I make a point of not over-tasking myself. There are no secret time disasters lurking in the shadows.
I think this exaggerated fear of time comes from a mix of nature and nurture. I was born with a ‘hummingbird temperament’ (no insult intended to the bird world, I love hummingbirds) it is natural for me to do everything fast, fast (attested to by my many bumped heads, bruised knees, and slightly chopped fingers!) Then I grew-up with parents who never ‘wasted’ time. I was ‘late’ getting up by 8:30 in the morning having wasted half the day! I marveled at how Mum could accomplish six things at once, bake 3 things simultaneously, welcome whoever arrived at the door for tea with a smile and always fresh baking. Super woman in my child’s eyes. However, from my rather advanced vantage point now (ah hmm) I can see that she was always in a state of time tension, she didn’t necessarily do everything perfectly as I once thought, and rarely took any time to stop, relax and enjoy life. It was always a buzz.
Constantly arm wrestling with time eventually harms your health, happiness and success.
What the use of time management if time is the enemy? When you are caught in the net of time urgency no amount of time management or prioritising is going to make a difference. That is not what time tension is about. You simply can’t run fast enough to outrun the pressure of time. It’s the way we relate to time that creates the stress and urgency. Sadly, the outcome of time tension is most often anxiousness or avoidance, procrastination and indecision. We all know where that leads…more stress, tension and pressure.
At this point I’m supposed to offer you at least 5 tips on how to overcome time urgency (…thinking…) Ok, time’s up! I don’t have 5 tips. I have thought and thought about this over the last few days and I have only one tip, the only one that works for me. Here it is…
To stop the anxiousness and the avoidance we have to acknowledge the creepy little time monster lurking in the dark corner. Go ahead and yell BOO at it! Send it running. Sure it will creep back in, maybe each and every day, but you no longer have to give it the time of day.
By now you probably, intuitively know if you engage in this war with time, but in case you are still wondering here are a few signs of time tension:
- finger tapping, knee or foot jiggling
- doing several things at once
- having a hard time sitting still to do nothing
- fidgeting
- facial tension or tautness
- eating fast and never just dawdling at the table
- during conversations thinking about other things or what’s next
If any of these tip-offs ring your alarm bell, don’t hit the snooze button and pull the covers over your head! Wake up to the knowledge that your relationship with time isn’t about minutes, or hours, it’s all about perception! The time tension you feel doesn’t truly exist. Don’t let it determine the mood of your day, after all…
Time (ime, ime, ime) is on YOUR side. YES IT IS!
PS. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.