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Divine Madness | Love Your Work!

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The Burnout Queens love Love; big Love, small Love, puppy Love!  Of course we are talking about Love today, check the date!  (There are times we love to be predictable!)  In past years we’ve ‘done’ Love (with a capital L), we’ve definitely talked about self-love and yes we have even explored the steamy kind, but love of work, loving what you do, is not necessarily the dot that gets connected to hearts and flowers.

Plato referred to love as ‘divine madness’ and Freud believed that two of the most important aspects of life were love and work.  So is it madness to believe you need to love your work to be healthy and happy?  The Burnout Queens don’t think so!

We have a very real need to love what we do… our work, the product, our art, our contribution and our success.
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If we connect love with work we should expect big moments of passion, true calling, momentous insights, or at least a big ‘kissy fest’ with our colleagues all the time…right?   Not necessarily so.

It can be a challenge to notice signs, big or small, of the kind of love that means your work is engaging your soul.  These signs often hide in the everyday, the mundane, the tedious and the commonplace.  So what exactly are you looking for?

Well, when you work with mindfulness you begin to identify signs of loving what you do: a moment of pride for a well done job; a rush of warmth, understanding or caring toward a co-worker;  the comfortable familiarity of an everyday task; the old books on the shelves in the boardroom; taking a moment to ‘see’ the painting you love on your office wall, the view outside your window; knowing you are doing ‘good’ work or providing for your life and family.

Here are some moments of love in my work:

black-heart15Typing this draft with my soul-dog on my lap (not great for my posture but fab for my heart),
black-heart15Receiving a ‘Hello here’s what I’m up to!’ from a long-ago (but never forgotten) client,
black-heart15Having an ‘ah hah moment’ when two seemingly diverse ideas collide and become something new...BIG LOVE!
black-heart15Writing that flows from the heart.
black-heart15A hot cup of tea and biscuit on the corner of my desk.
black-heart15Being ‘told’ to take a break by a ball dropped on my foot or thrown down the stairwell followed by barking!
black-heart15Receiving baby pictures, pet pictures, family pictures from clients new and old.
black-heart15Taking a brain-break by editing something already written (ah relax).
black-heart15Dropping a quick “Thinking of you” to a client for no reason other than to connect.
black-heart15Hearing the birds in the tree outside my window.
black-heart15Looking up to see the picture of Dad on my bookshelf.
black-heart15Stopping to read the Burnout Queens Desiderata (You mean you haven’t got one? Join the Realm Darlings!)

Let’s be honest we can all lose the love of our work from time to time! 

There will be days you don’t feel like showing up, but don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you don’t love what you do!

Stress, pressures, deadlines, dreaded tasks, the evil boss or conniving colleague, or just the tedium of the everyday can trick even the most enlightened and sensitive amongst us into missing (or possibly avoiding or ignoring) many opportunities to connect with the love of what you do.

In the BIG picture we all want to be happy at work.  We want our work to be engaging, pleasurable and fun at times.  We truly want to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the wellbeing of others in the world.  That sense of contributing is love personified.

Yes there are times when we drag ourselves ‘to the office’ moaning, but there are other times when maybe life is in turnoil that work becomes a place of refuge, a sanctuary.  Just the other day a client whose world has been turned upside down said it so clearly, “Thank goodness for my work, it’s keeping me sane!”  There was a time that my office became my retreat, my haven of peace, from family illness, crises and loss.  It was physically a peaceful and serene place, I loved my clients, and when ‘in session’ I was unavailable to the outside world!  What’s not to love.

Even if you aren’t currently in your ideal job or career, allow yourself to love aspects of what you are doing.

Finding love for what you do in the present doesn’t mean you can’t dream about the future and embrace change when it comes.
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Love for your work, in whatever nooks and crannies you can find it, opens up your imagination, your creativity and awakens your soul.

Being a highly sensitive woman means you were delightfully designed to find work you love but first you have to find love in your work. 

 

From our hearts to yours…Happy Valentines Day!

 

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

Soul Burnout: Being an HSP in Painful Times

Soul Burnout: Being an HSP in Painful Times

“What is this world coming to?  What has happened to humanity?  I don’t understand…”

These days we are hearing these sentiments from oh so many of our Highly Sensitive Burnout Queens.  The anger, suffering and pain in the world, the apparent lack of love, the disbelief that human beings can be indifferent to each other, and we would add the way some humans treat animals with such disregard, and let’s not forget our poor planet!  Well it makes us all very sad and weary.  Sigh…….

Maybe you are experiencing something similar, a sense of disillusionment, a loss of faith in humanity, the feeling that nothing makes sense anymore.  And you know, all that makes us feel insecure, kind of nervous, anxious and uneasy.  To say it is disappointing is a massive understatement, the international events of the last few weeks leave many of us feeling totally disheartened to say the least!

At times you may feel that there is nothing left to believe in…there is.

We see this as a kind of ‘soul burnout’.  When you are Highly Sensitive it can feel like the weight of the world, the pain of the world, resides within you.   Sometimes you just don’t know what to do with it and end up feeling powerless and, yes, definitely hopeless.  So what can you do?

Well, crowns off to those courageous and bold souls who head off into dangerous places to offer aid and care to both humans and animals in need.  My heart swells with joy and gratitude with the knowledge that such brave individuals exist!  Then there are the rest of us…

We may not be ready to take a heroic stance, but we can live with Everyday Spirituality.  Everyday Spirituality doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t necessarily encompass grand gestures, it doesn’t even have to be called anything specific with a Capital Letter.  We believe that everyone can embace life and live each and every day with meaning and purpose.   Oh don’t get all worried about ‘finding your purpose’ (that’s way too heady for us!) all you have to remember is to…

Live your life in the pursuit of compassion, kindness, beauty, understanding and love in your own unique way

Shine your HSP light into the world.  Do not live in fear.  Always strive for your Highest Dream regardless of how futile it can sometimes feel in this shocking world.

Imagine. Create. Believe.

Love, Dr Toby & Dr Bev xx

PS.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

PPS!  Won’t you join The Burnout Queens for Afternoon Tea this month?  Exclusive member only event. 

 

Afternoon Tea & Talk in The RealmThe Realm is having an Afternoon Tea Talk on November 30th, 2015.  Dr Toby and Dr Bev will be discussing what it means to Defy Ordinary, how to actually do it, and answer all your questions.  It doesn’t matter where you live on the planet, it’s on video so you won’t miss a thing.  The video will be viewed online with a private link…but you must be a member to join us.

Ready to create a bigger, better and bolder you?  Join us for tea and talk

NOW is the Capital City of Aware! (How to Get Present)

How to get present

“I want to be more present, I want to live in the now!”  No problem!  No, seriously, it’s time to stop making ‘presence’ a problem in your life or something else you consider yourself not very good at.  You can’t get this one wrong!  It’s simple (now you know The Burnout Queens like simple) all you have to do is to turn up your awareness because…

You are already living in Now!

It all goes terribly ‘wrong’ when you think you should, ought to, or need to be present.  You can’t think your way to being present!  So, what does ‘being present’ or as we prefer ‘living in Now’ actually mean?

Well lovelies, Now is simply a state of being conscious and aware.

Living in Now is to be experienced, not thought about or analysed, and Now is definitely not about doing.  In fact our cultural obsession with doing takes us away from Now.  You are right here in Now, even right now so to speak!  All you have to do is learn to pay attention on purpose!

Many of you want to know ‘how’ to live in Now, so here is the one really important thing to remember, you must pay attention without judgement!  Oh we can hear you groaning, but it’s not as hard as you think.  The minute you hear yourself editorialising about your experience you’ve left Now and travelled into the land of should of, could of, would of, if only or what if…none of which have anything to do with Now.  When you start time travelling, ask yourself…

What’s happening right Now?  What’s real right Now?

Sometimes it’s difficult realising how ‘in Now’ we really are because we get lost by constantly running off into the future or into the past.  If you want to enjoy living today you have to stop ruminating and worrying about what’s happening tomorrow or next week or resenting or regretting what did or didn’t happen yesterday.

We can remember the past and plan for the future, but the only place we can live in is Now!
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Living in Now is not a difficult skill.  It’s not going to take years of learning some new philosophy or form of meditation.  It takes a bit of extra effort to pay attention at first, like anything new, and you have to have patience with yourself.  Beyond that, we know that as soon as this idea ‘clicks’ for you it will become pretty natural.

Try any of these tiny, simple ways to entice your consciousness back to Now.  For instance, while sitting at my desk right now I can,

♦       Take a big deep breath (instantly brings you into your body)

♦       Ask, ‘Am I physically comfortable or stiff and achey?’

♦       Look out the window and actually see the weather, trees, birds

♦       Ask, ‘Am I hungry or thirsty?’

♦       Check, ‘Has my office become too cold or warm?’

♦       ‘Tune in’ and listen to the classical piece on the radio.

These are all about pausing and cueing yourself to the present by observing ‘how’ you are at that particular moment in time.  With consistency this way of staying aware will literally become a no-brainer.  It will, in fact, become automatic and natural.

You can also practice being more actively aware in small ways.  For instance I can stop and:

♦       Run my hands over the arms of my chair and feel of the wood.

♦       Quietly watch my breath rise and fall for a few minutes.

♦       Look around my desk and observe… the antique lamp I love, the ‘smiling pig’ birthday card, my ‘goal’ post it note to self, and my Grandpa’s old letter opener.

The secret to being present is believing that whatever you are experiencing or doing at this very moment in time, big or small, is important.

Living in Now, starts as a skill that needs a bit of practice and then blossoms into a beautiful natural way of being in your world.  Here’s my confession, I am a true thinking, reflecting, analysing HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) so it’s pretty easy for me to drift off into my thoughts and ideas.  So whether it’s gently bringing myself back to a conversation or task or staying in touch with my physical, emotional and spiritual self, living in Now is something I actively and consciously practice and enjoy each and every day.

Here’s another little secret, many of our Burnout Queens talk about needing more focus in their day or in their lives in general.  Well, live in Now and you ARE focused!  Plain and simple!

You may have noticed that we have capitalised Now, kind of like it’s the capital city of Aware!  Well, that’s because we want you to consider it a wonderful place to BE, think of it kind of like the emerald city of Oz.

For it to work in the world of the Burnout Queens it has to be simple, practical, inspirational, and yes quirky!  We want you to be able to simply say to yourself ‘Go to Now’.  After all, when you live in Now,

Now IS now!

So click your ruby red heels and BE there…or be square!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

The Burnout Queens | Dr Toby and Dr Bev

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.

PPS!  The Burnout Queens have a special invitation waiting for you…

We would love you to be part of our exclusive members only club for women, The Realm!

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Photography: Caroline True Photography | Illustration by Veronica Miller | Site Design: Kim McDaniels | Disclaimer