Here’s your focus for the week…BE GREAT!
with love Dr Toby & Dr Bev
The Burnout Queens
UK’s leading coaches for woman and burnout
The Bad Mood Syndrome
Lately we’re noticing how peoples’ bad moods are spilling over onto other peoples’ living. So more of us are at risk of being on the receiving end of negativity, aggression and ill will. We’ve all experienced the blast of a car horn, the shout of an irrate motorist, or worse, the gesture (you know the one I mean)!
Just the other day we were told to ‘go back to where you came from’ (Canadian accent didn’t sit well with this young english girl), a dogwalking friend was told she was a liar by a complete stranger, and a colleague was accused of starting a fight she wasn’t even present for. These things just leave you scratching your head and wondering “What the h…!”
To us it is just gratuitous aggression and it’s really on the rise! Oh, sooner or later the media will call it something like The Bad Mood Syndrome, and have experts on the couch telling us why it happens. Really, who cares! In short it is rude, obnoxious and highly unintelligent behaviour.
However, if you are the recipient of someone’s bad mood or tantrum it hurts, it throws you off your game and generally sends a bright and calm day into a total spin.
When you are highly sensitive it takes time and energy to shake-off the nastiness. We questions ourselves whether we brought it on (“did I say something, do something, look funny at them”) and never come up with a definitive answer because there is none. We become cautious of who we speak to and how we speak to them. It’s always a massive shock to be mistreated by strangers while minding your own business. We even refrain from sharing our experience with friends in case they think ill of us too!
These attacks are particularly hard on highly sensitive people. HSPs (and that certainly includes us) don’t expect to be treated in this way. We never ‘ask for it’, and would never dream of treating other people in such a manner! Which is why we are always so taken aback!
In short, we can’t control the surprise attack, but what we can control is the amount of time and energy spent trying to understand what we did or didn’t do.
All you need to do is remember one thing and one thing only…It’s not about you, it’s all about them!
PS: One more thing to do, don’t lose your gentleness, your sensitivity, and your caring way of treating others. It takes faith I know, but we don’t need more of ‘them’ in the world. We need more of ‘us’
In peace…The Burnout Queens xx
Be open to the unexpected
‘Putting off’ is a way of not giving to yourself.
Easy tip to stop worrying and get doing
I have a new writing project on my to-do list this week. Instantly my anxiety, self-doubt and worry rear their ugly heads; will I say it right, will it make sense, does it need to be said… and on and on I go erecting hurdles to make the task difficult. Unfortunately I haven’t even started!
This is such a typical hurdle for HSP’s gripped with mind chatter and performance anxiety (guilty as charged)
Here’s a tip I used that helped me get over myself.
I sent an email to my blackberry with a confidence boosting message + the 3 steps needed to get the project done: ‘we can do this: 1 topic–3 talking points–2 exercises’. While working, I glanced at it periodically just to stay on point.
Simple and it actually worked. Hope it helps you as well. Dr Bev xx