The Burnout Queens are celebrating International Woman’s Day today, with a tribute to our pasts, our present and the wish of a brighter future for our next generation of girls and women across the globe.
Love, The Burnout Queens xx
perfectionism
HSP woman wants to build a wall
Yes I do, I want to build a wall!
Please don’t confuse me with that guy running for US president, but I actually do want to build a wall. You see, there’s just too much going on these days, and it’s driving me crazy. It’s grating on my nerves, making me irritable, and generally intruding on all my senses.
So what’s going on you ask? Open plan living! You know living, dining, terrace and kitchen all-in-one. Very hip, very modern, very NOW. So when I initially saw my new flat I was excited with possibilities. In my zest to decorate the space in my head, I neglected to consider how noisy it might become.
When I clock off work, I’m ready for my evening to begin. As a highly sensitive woman, there’s nothing more soothing than a little dim lighting, low hum and watching a bit of television while I get dinner. Well, my gorgeously decorated open living space doesn’t deliver…I want to build a wall!
As a highly sensitive woman yourself, can you guess where I’m going with this? The gas stove is on (noise), the fan for the stove is on (noise), the fridge is opening and closing (noise), the dinner is being prepared, chop, chop, chop (more noise), the water is being poured into saucepans (double noise), the microwave is beeping (noise) and the television is on (turned ever higher to actually hear the news or show, making it noise over the top). And don’t even get me started on the Burnout Pups playing ball, barking and generally under foot because work is done and playtime is NOW for them (and I’m not even going to start with the noise of after-dinner cleanup and the dishwasher)!
Humming, banging, barking, bright lights, clanking pots and running water… my now over-aroused and jangled system yearns for that beautifully quiet evening of rest and relaxation.
Suffice to say open plan living for this highly sensitive woman is not a match made in heaven. So I want to build a wall and call the space on the other side ‘my kitchen’. Old fashioned maybe, quiet most definitely!
Anyone else feel my pain?!?
Love, The Burnout Queens xx
Fail with Flair! | The Power of Failure
We just bet that you never thought the Burnout Queens would be talking about failure. After all, we are known to be ‘glass half full’ kind of women. Promise, we won’t disappoint, we shall remain optimistic even in the face of failure.
Failure is inescapable and necessary. Seriously, failure is actually good for you! It gives you practice for life ‘cause after all, life is all about trial and error. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we simply don’t. So, as far as we can see…
If you don’t know how to fail,
well you don’t know how to live.
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We all have the skill to fail and make the most of it. Did we say “skill to fail”? Mon Dieu! Oh sure, you can be a sloppy mistake maker but that’s not Burnout Queen style. We prefer you fail with flair and you can do that. Just embrace the Power of Failure and you come away bigger and bolder.
Failure expands your repertoire.
To make failure work for you, you have to understand it. There are a few different ways in which you can fail, for instance, idea-wise. Maybe your original idea is flawed or weak. The more you work on it the more you realise it’s going nowhere. Now this is a good thing to know because you can get out while the going’s good! (You won’t believe how many articles get zapped with the ‘delete’ button!)
Then there are times you can suffer a failure of judgement! Oh yes, we have all had moments when better judgement eludes us! Maybe you trusted someone else’s judgement over your own or maybe you didn’t listen to your inner knowledge. Whatever the reason, cringe and move on!
You know sometimes we ‘fail’ just because we haven’t got the necessary skill or ability to pull something off. Easy two options…outsource or upgrade your skills. No failure in that!
Now here’s another important confession about failure…it hurts! No denying it, failure is ‘icky’ (that’s a clinical term by the way!). It is frustrating and it can be embarrassing. So go ahead, sit down and nurse your insults with cake and chocolate then get over it. It is life, and failure is going to happen again…and again…and, yes likely, again. Be human, give yourself permission to goof-up and even look foolish. Then learn from it. That’s the best way you get your courage back if failure has made you lose your nerve.
You have to defy failure if you want to defy ordinary!
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Remember, many of our failures exist only in our gorgeous heads! Private failures so to speak. Go ahead and have as many of these as you can. Stop thinking of them as ‘wrong or misled’ and think of them as ‘first tries, first drafts, or first kick at the can!’ Ideas have to evolve and ripen before they see daylight. Dress them up any way you want ‘cause no one but you sees them!
The experience of failure is profoundly personal. One person’s failure is another’s success!
There are really only a couple of responses to failure; stick with the old or try something new. You don’t need a perfect solution to every problem, you don’t even need to fix every failure. One of the joys of failure is that you can literally wipe it away with a grande gesture and start afresh. And that’s why…
Failure can be energising! In fact if you let it, failure can be the messenger of great change. When you recognise where and when you have tried and ‘failed’ you will begin to see new opportunities to try again or maybe try a totally new direction in the future.
With failure you can release the status quo and create newness in your life.
Understanding that we can fail with strength is important to both Burnout Queens and Highly Sensitive Women (often one and the same)! When we are highly sensitive we tend to weight the ‘failure’ side or our life equation much more heavily than the success side. We need to balance that scale…or burnout.
Fail privately. Fail publicly. Fail as many times as you want, but never, ever, apologise for failing. Fail with pizzazz! Own your failure proudly, then dust yourself off, straighten your crown and elegantly stride on!
Hey do you hear that noise?
That’s The Universe applauding your boldness!
PS. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.
Burnout Pups have style too!
Well,
This little miss just turned 6 years old! She has style that’s for sure…she wouldn’t be one of The Burnout Pups if she didn’t. The neck scarf just can’t be worn around the neck, no no no, she’s too creative for that.
If you belong to The Realm of The Burnout Queens you have to be creative and quirky, so any neck attire automatically becomes a scarf. She has seen so many pictures of the real Queen to know her fashion.
Being the little nervous pup she is (a true HSP because they exist in the animal world) the ‘cute’ factor always hides her nerves and hood-winks admirers into thinking she’s very bold. It seems to work for her. Wonder what we can find to hide the nerves and show the boldness we truly possess!
Here’s to the birthday girl and teaching us style can be uniquely bold! xx
Love, The Burnout Queens xx
Divine Madness | Love Your Work!
The Burnout Queens love Love; big Love, small Love, puppy Love! Of course we are talking about Love today, check the date! (There are times we love to be predictable!) In past years we’ve ‘done’ Love (with a capital L), we’ve definitely talked about self-love and yes we have even explored the steamy kind, but love of work, loving what you do, is not necessarily the dot that gets connected to hearts and flowers.
Plato referred to love as ‘divine madness’ and Freud believed that two of the most important aspects of life were love and work. So is it madness to believe you need to love your work to be healthy and happy? The Burnout Queens don’t think so!
We have a very real need to love what we do… our work, the product, our art, our contribution and our success.
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If we connect love with work we should expect big moments of passion, true calling, momentous insights, or at least a big ‘kissy fest’ with our colleagues all the time…right? Not necessarily so.
It can be a challenge to notice signs, big or small, of the kind of love that means your work is engaging your soul. These signs often hide in the everyday, the mundane, the tedious and the commonplace. So what exactly are you looking for?
Well, when you work with mindfulness you begin to identify signs of loving what you do: a moment of pride for a well done job; a rush of warmth, understanding or caring toward a co-worker; the comfortable familiarity of an everyday task; the old books on the shelves in the boardroom; taking a moment to ‘see’ the painting you love on your office wall, the view outside your window; knowing you are doing ‘good’ work or providing for your life and family.
Here are some moments of love in my work:
 | Typing this draft with my soul-dog on my lap (not great for my posture but fab for my heart), |
| Receiving a ‘Hello here’s what I’m up to!’ from a long-ago (but never forgotten) client, |
| Having an ‘ah hah moment’ when two seemingly diverse ideas collide and become something new...BIG LOVE! |
| Writing that flows from the heart. |
| A hot cup of tea and biscuit on the corner of my desk. |
| Being ‘told’ to take a break by a ball dropped on my foot or thrown down the stairwell followed by barking! |
| Receiving baby pictures, pet pictures, family pictures from clients new and old. |
| Taking a brain-break by editing something already written (ah relax). |
| Dropping a quick “Thinking of you” to a client for no reason other than to connect. |
| Hearing the birds in the tree outside my window. |
| Looking up to see the picture of Dad on my bookshelf. |
| Stopping to read the Burnout Queens Desiderata (You mean you haven’t got one? Join the Realm Darlings!) |
Let’s be honest we can all lose the love of our work from time to time!
There will be days you don’t feel like showing up, but don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you don’t love what you do!
Stress, pressures, deadlines, dreaded tasks, the evil boss or conniving colleague, or just the tedium of the everyday can trick even the most enlightened and sensitive amongst us into missing (or possibly avoiding or ignoring) many opportunities to connect with the love of what you do.
In the BIG picture we all want to be happy at work. We want our work to be engaging, pleasurable and fun at times. We truly want to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the wellbeing of others in the world. That sense of contributing is love personified.
Yes there are times when we drag ourselves ‘to the office’ moaning, but there are other times when maybe life is in turnoil that work becomes a place of refuge, a sanctuary. Just the other day a client whose world has been turned upside down said it so clearly, “Thank goodness for my work, it’s keeping me sane!” There was a time that my office became my retreat, my haven of peace, from family illness, crises and loss. It was physically a peaceful and serene place, I loved my clients, and when ‘in session’ I was unavailable to the outside world! What’s not to love.
Even if you aren’t currently in your ideal job or career, allow yourself to love aspects of what you are doing.
Finding love for what you do in the present doesn’t mean you can’t dream about the future and embrace change when it comes.
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Love for your work, in whatever nooks and crannies you can find it, opens up your imagination, your creativity and awakens your soul.
Being a highly sensitive woman means you were delightfully designed to find work you love but first you have to find love in your work.
From our hearts to yours…Happy Valentines Day!
PS. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.