motivation | The Burnout Queens

Assertiveness For HSPs!

March 24, 2016

As a highly sensitive, intelligent and creative woman you may have a natural HSP tendency to ‘pause-to-check’. Brief overview, ‘pause-to-check’ comes from our need for a little caution.

We can use this to our advantage by turning it into what we call ‘pause-to-respond’ moments and banish the regret of not getting across your idea clearly. This way, when you do speak up you are heard perfectly! Here’s how:

5 quick ways to power up your pause-to-respond skill.

Buy time – Need a longer pause, be assertive with, “I’ll get back to you on that”.
Ask Self – Take your ‘pause’ moment to consider what you really want to say.
Silence can be golden. Maybe, just maybe, a non-response is the right way to go. Silence speaks volumes.
Own what you want to say – If you have already responded, but had second thoughts (or 100^th thought if an HSP!) return and re-say. “I’ve been thinking about what I said, and what I would have liked to say or truly meant was…”.
Respond thoughtfully – Take your time and don’t be rushed. You may feel like it’s forever, but it will only take you seconds longer to speak thoughtfully and mindfully.

If you found these 5 quick responses helpful and want more of our HSP-specific gems all you have to do is become a member of The Realm! and enjoy your postcards every Sunday.

The Realm!, is a free club for women who want to Defy Ordinary. We are creative, sensitive and ‘very’ global. Register here and receive your instant member’s access information.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Celebrating Women

March 8, 2016

The Burnout Queens are celebrating International Woman’s Day today, with a tribute to our pasts, our present and the wish of a brighter future for our next generation of girls and women across the globe.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Wateraid gives us feedback on caring

March 8, 2016

How absolutely lovely to receive a note from Water Aid on Mothering Sunday in the UK.

Great to know our Christmas Chaos Charity Campaign gifts of taps and bog cement is making a difference in a village birthing centre in Tanzania.

Just a special feeling and moment to know we all helped in a very small but powerful way in other womens’ lives on this planet. Embracing all your kindness and generosity this year.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Reaching 100 like Gwen!

February 24, 2016

Today Dr B’s mother is turning 100 years of age. For that accomplishment alone, we say brava and the happiest of days from across the pond!

She is receiving a message from the ‘real’ Queen today and it will mean so much to her. She is a daughter of the commonwealth and queen through and through.

I can remember (as can Dr T) many royal visits to my hometown of Vancouver, getting dressed up in my very best little dress and gloves and holding the union jack…waiting for the Queen to drive by. Yes I said gloves it was the 50’s! 3 generations of women in our family, grandmother (born in England), mother (born in Canada) and me (born in Canada now living in England) all waiting to catch a glimpse of this woman who wore crowns and gowns and to whom we sang God Save the Queen every morning at school, every baseball game, and every night as the television station signed off the air.

Enjoy the day, your year and the amazing accomplishment of reaching 100 years of age.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Divine Madness | Love Your Work!

February 13, 2016

The Burnout Queens love Love; big Love, small Love, puppy Love! Of course we are talking about Love today, check the date! (There are times we love to be predictable!) In past years we’ve ‘done’ Love (with a capital L), we’ve definitely talked about self-love and yes we have even explored the steamy kind, but love of work, loving what you do, is not necessarily the dot that gets connected to hearts and flowers.

Plato referred to love as ‘divine madness’ and Freud believed that two of the most important aspects of life were love and work. So is it madness to believe you need to love your work to be healthy and happy? The Burnout Queens don’t think so!

We have a very real need to love what we do… our work, the product, our art, our contribution and our success.
[tweet this]

If we connect love with work we should expect big moments of passion, true calling, momentous insights, or at least a big ‘kissy fest’ with our colleagues all the time…right? Not necessarily so.

It can be a challenge to notice signs, big or small, of the kind of love that means your work is engaging your soul. These signs often hide in the everyday, the mundane, the tedious and the commonplace. So what exactly are you looking for?

Well, when you work with mindfulness you begin to identify signs of loving what you do: a moment of pride for a well done job; a rush of warmth, understanding or caring toward a co-worker; the comfortable familiarity of an everyday task; the old books on the shelves in the boardroom; taking a moment to ‘see’ the painting you love on your office wall, the view outside your window; knowing you are doing ‘good’ work or providing for your life and family.

Here are some moments of love in my work:

	Typing this draft with my soul-dog on my lap (not great for my posture but fab for my heart),
	Receiving a ‘Hello here’s what I’m up to!’ from a long-ago (but never forgotten) client,
	Having an ‘ah hah moment’ when two seemingly diverse ideas collide and become something new...BIG LOVE!
	Writing that flows from the heart.
	A hot cup of tea and biscuit on the corner of my desk.
	Being ‘told’ to take a break by a ball dropped on my foot or thrown down the stairwell followed by barking!
	Receiving baby pictures, pet pictures, family pictures from clients new and old.
	Taking a brain-break by editing something already written (ah relax).
	Dropping a quick “Thinking of you” to a client for no reason other than to connect.
	Hearing the birds in the tree outside my window.
	Looking up to see the picture of Dad on my bookshelf.
	Stopping to read the Burnout Queens Desiderata (You mean you haven’t got one? Join the Realm Darlings!)

Let’s be honest we can all lose the love of our work from time to time!

There will be days you don’t feel like showing up, but don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you don’t love what you do!

Stress, pressures, deadlines, dreaded tasks, the evil boss or conniving colleague, or just the tedium of the everyday can trick even the most enlightened and sensitive amongst us into missing (or possibly avoiding or ignoring) many opportunities to connect with the love of what you do.

In the BIG picture we all want to be happy at work. We want our work to be engaging, pleasurable and fun at times. We truly want to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the wellbeing of others in the world. That sense of contributing is love personified.

Yes there are times when we drag ourselves ‘to the office’ moaning, but there are other times when maybe life is in turnoil that work becomes a place of refuge, a sanctuary. Just the other day a client whose world has been turned upside down said it so clearly, “Thank goodness for my work, it’s keeping me sane!” There was a time that my office became my retreat, my haven of peace, from family illness, crises and loss. It was physically a peaceful and serene place, I loved my clients, and when ‘in session’ I was unavailable to the outside world! What’s not to love.

Even if you aren’t currently in your ideal job or career, allow yourself to love aspects of what you are doing.

Finding love for what you do in the present doesn’t mean you can’t dream about the future and embrace change when it comes.
[tweet this]

Love for your work, in whatever nooks and crannies you can find it, opens up your imagination, your creativity and awakens your soul.

Being a highly sensitive woman means you were delightfully designed to find work you love but first you have to find love in your work.

From our hearts to yours…Happy Valentines Day!

PS. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.