motivation | The Burnout Queens

10 Years Stronger and loving it

October 4, 2016

The Realm’s weekly postcard with it’s assignment arrived in my inbox this past Sunday. It made me think about the question and how I would answer it, and so I posted in our private facebook page.

Then I thought, this is important, so I’m sharing it here as well.

The assignment for this week’s The Realm postcard asked our members to think not about their age, but about what or how age has changed them for the better over the last 10 years. So here was my answer….

” 10 years on and I am stronger and more able to say NO to people and things that aren’t right for me. How did I come to this? After several ‘crazy and manipulative’ people in my life pre UK and here as well, I can clearly and quickly see the train wreck coming towards me, so I say NO and get out. It may look like I’m a rude or unfriendly person, but having experienced prolonged relationships with friends, colleagues and family members who were not good for my health and mind, I have learned I have a choice to look after me.”

Here are my examples (and feel free to leave yours in the comments below)

If someone blames me for something they clearly did themselves…they are banished quickly (my new Burnout Queen rules)
If someone undermines, smears or belittles me and what I know in order to bolster their own inadequacies…they are banished immediately.
If someone wants to talk only and always about themselves, and never asks about me…they are given a few chances…and then they are banished forever!

Some people will judge this as b**chy (and believe you me they have and on several occasions convinced me I was) but I don’t mind because 10 years on, my heart is in the right place and I am firm about what I have learned the hard way.

Life post-burnout is ‘very’ different thankfully.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Rest for the Soul

September 28, 2016

We awoke to a great new research study being talked about on BBC Breakfast earlier this week. It’s called The Anatomy of Rest and perhaps you’ve heard about it by now. If not, let us share some of the findings with you.

We are talking about REST, which is not to be confused with Sleep. There has been plenty of research conducted on sleep patterns, amount of sleep, sleep deprivation, etc, etc, etc. For the first time there is a study on rest. 18,000 people from 134 countries took a Rest Test by BBC Radio 4 and Wellcome Collection’s researchers Hubbub. What do you think they found?

The findings are bang on with what we at The Burnout Queens and all our community of highly sensitive and exhausted women know all too well. We need and want more rest!

2/3 of the people in this study said they wanted more rest. When asked what would rest look like, it came in different forms, everything from sleeping, sipping coffee, sitting in front of the TV and doing ultramarathons. The top ‘rest activity’ came as a surprise to the research team… Reading. The other top activities were ‘being in nature’, music and being alone. It seems the majority of us need and want regular solitude to rest and restore ourselves.

So why don’t we rest more? The report showed we feel guilty when we squeeze out time for ourselves. I don’t think this is surprising to women. We feel selfish and self-centred (which means our guilt and stress rises) when we take time away from everything and everybody else in our lives to have a quiet moment for us. Women are already living in a state of exhaustion and don’t think they have the ‘time’ to recoup. We have to turn that notion on it’s head. The ultimate gift we can give ourselves is to consciously and deliberately create an inner calm that will make us more resilient to the outside world.

Now here’s the easy part. The Burnout Queens have designed a fast, simple and extremely effective group of 21audios and videos that help you create that inner calm and resilience needed in your everyday life. Quiet the Buzz of Everyday Life…creating calm for the Highly Sensitive Woman can be done anywhere, anytime; walking, shopping, waiting for the kids, on your break, waiting for your latte. Promise.

Why not see for yourself and solve the dilemma of rest, calm and quiet within yourself?!? Watch our video about Quiet the Buzz and get yourself started now

Embrace the calm!

With love, The Burnout Queens

I Work Differently Now and Love It!

August 17, 2016

Over the last months we have been working, working, working on new programmes, by choice…but have to say…working ‘overtime’ certainly doesn’t resemble the past. Then it was 18 hour days; racing from office, to hospital, to university, to private practice, then home quickly to look after ill cats and aging parents. It was madness but necessary and unavoidable.

On the contrary, these days work often starts with a quiet dog walk to the park, a breakfast looking out the roof terrace at the English Channel, a walk to the local for bread and dinner dessert, a play time with dogs, and afternoon tea break to clear the head.

Sounds too good to be true? Sometimes it feels it! After living a life of unrelenting stress and strain and driving ourselves into the ground (literally) this new life of enlightened balance (aka burnout-free lifestyle) makes our hearts sing!

And that’s blissful!

Can you make a few changes to your usual routine to make life more enjoyable?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

My Reality, Your Reality, Our Reality

June 23, 2016

We all have a way of looking at things in our life. It’s called perspective. There’s nothing wrong with having your own perspective on things, it is after all how your eyes see the world…your reality.

Others see the world, (their reality) through their own eyes and perspective. We can all look at the exact same thing and see it very differently, depending on our view. One is neither right, nor wrong, it simply is!

Too often in my therapy practice I would hear couples and individuals question their own perspectives, as if their reality was ‘wrong’ and it needed to be put ‘right’. Not so. What we need to learn is the tolerance of differences that gives breathing room for all our personal realities.

My truth may not be your truth…but it is still Truth.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Women, Bodies & Baggage

June 15, 2016

Women’s bodies come with a full set of baggage. We worry about how fat or thin, tight or saggy, tall or short, young or old, beautiful or ugly we are.

It all comes down to our bodies and the relationship we have with it. Whether it’s loving or spiteful we are stuck with it. It is something we are born with and changes with or without our permission over a lifetime. It changes, it grows, it develops, it moves, it gets strong, it gets weak and all manner of things in-between.

So how do you treat this ‘thing’ that holds you up and moves you through the world. Perhaps because of that very fact alone we should learn to like it more.

Here are 8 ways you can take good care of that ‘thing’ you already love, are getting to love or have hated for years.

Like her more by not comparing her to another woman
Feed and water her regularly
Put lotion on her and let her glow
Massage her to help her move with ease
Take her for a walk, bike ride, swim
Sit her down
Let her sleep
Limit the stress and strain you put her under

Showing respect for your body will help you respect your Self and THAT darling, results in you becoming the radiant Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected you were truly meant to be.

With Love, The Burnout Queens xx