London
Ding Dong! Can Someone Else Get The Door?
Familiar with that old saying, the more things change the more they stay the same? Oh yeah! We started writing about ‘overwhelm’ almost a decade ago when we were seriously in the overwhelm loop and so were many of our clients. Fast forward to 2015 and has it changed? Uh uh, nada, nope….
Back then I called being overwhelmed the ‘curse of the 21st century’ this past 2 weeks has reconfirmed my opinion! In between everyday ordinary life and work stuff we have been dealing with leaks from the terrace, workmen (don’t get us started on this one it’s not pretty…I said don’t!), tech issues, a pup with a spider bite, and major projects with deadlines. Did you hear that overwhelm buzzer go off? That’s what I called it way back then and, you know, it still works. To me it sounds like one of those loud obnoxious buzzers on a game show! Multiple times this week that buzzer was about to sound!
Now, Dr B and I consider ourselves pretty good at handling stuff, in fact, we both are what we call ‘Super-Copers’ (more about that in upcoming feature articles!) like our clients who are professional, super-savvy women as well. We all probably share one thing, we feel embarrassed, like we are failing, or even ashamed to admit getting overwhelmed, after all we are supposed to be able to do it all without breaking a sweat and while smiling. The thing we need to get over is not the overwhelm it’s the shame. Say it after me…
I AM WOMAN!
Sometimes I am fed-up, tired woman, yes, even overwhelmed woman and…I’m cool with that.
Being overwhelmed is simply a feeling, a temporary, albeit unpleasant, fleeting feeling. Well, actually it is more like a torrent of feelings and thoughts all hitting at the same time. Picture this…the doorbell rings and you go to answer it expecting a single person who you will effectively and efficiently (as per usual) deal with. Now picture this (come on play with me here)…buzzer rings, you open the door,(yikes!) there’s a mob of people on your doorstep all yelling and pushing and shoving and trying to get your attention all at once! Feelings and thoughts, needs and wants, expectations and obligations all falling over each other! That’s overwhelm. So what’s a Burnout Queen to do?
Walk away. You heard it right and you heard it here…close the door on the noise and walk away. (It’s ok go against character and be rude!). Don’t worry you won’t walk forever, just 20 minutes.
Walk away from overwhelm, nothing will happen,
the world will not end.
Next? Declare it out loud, “I am overwhelmed!” (Whew, that feels better already!) There you’ve said it and the paparazzi didn’t jump out of the bushes to snap a picture of you in your shameful overwhelmed state! Now what?
Take a brain break. When in overwhelm you are in overdrive, so shift down a couple of gears and idle in neutral for 20 minutes. Make a cuppa, call a friend (only if they are in a good space or you will end up listening to them! You see we know you!), play with the goldfish, go outside, get a breath of fresh air, pick some flowers (yes even if it’s the neighbours), or take yourself out for a quick coffee at the local cafe.
Stop saying ‘I can’t take a break, I can’t stop,
I’ve got too much to do!’ Yada yada, us too!
We’re not being unsympathetic to your plight, just realistic. It’s true, when you are overwhelmed you will accomplish nothing. Once you have had 10 minutes of absolute chill time (doing nothing, saying nothing, thinking nothing) and your brain has stopped smoking, get out a pad of paper (yes good old paper and pen, or pencil if you fear certainty, no technology allowed you need tactile) and write down the first thing you need/want to do. Only one thing, more is not better. Now decide (yes you can) on one small step you will take to unblock this task. Stay focused (take another gulp of coffee or tea) figure out the next small step (no no no, don’t look any further ahead that’s where overwhelm lurks.) simply focus on your toes, one step at a time. You got it! Keep doing this and you are out of overwhelm.
There is an ongoing problem. When you live on the edge of burnout, as we know so many of you do, you invite more and more overwhelm moments into your life. We give it to you, life is hectic, we all live in a 24/7 world. So what’s the answer?
Easy, you don’t have to join. If you give-up living your burnout lifestyle and start living with more ‘enlightened balance’ in your life (notice we said ‘enlightened’ not perfect balance, another mythical monster!) you will still be successful, hey probably more successful, and you will stay sane!
Our solemn promise to you is to keep writing about all of this stuff so you can do what we did, give up burnout and live to defy ordinary! It’s way more fun.
So, are you ready? Next time that overwhelm buzzer goes off…let someone else get the door! You’ve got better things to do…you are a Burnout Queen!
Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!
P.S. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below.
Hello from Brighton & London 29 August 2015
September is here already…really?! How did that happen. September is always a great time to get back to school, work, or university; or to simply start something new and intriguing in our lives (well that’s the hope anyway).
We’ve spent time exploring more of our seaside city with it’s quirky districts, architecture, and beaches. Taking it all in while our pet sitter is away on holidays and London tube strikes disrupt our London daytrips!
August is festival, festival, festival time here, so we took some of it in (if you read our blog ‘The parade, the evacuation and poached eggs’ you’ll get it came with an unexpected scare).
End of summer is always time when the little projects get done. The pups viewing stand was assembled on the roof terrace (they feel ever so ‘big’ thrusting their heads through the slats) and Dr B’s veggie garden is ripening (don’t laugh there are loads more on-the-vine waiting to munch) And Dr T finally got a chance to finish her art project, but not before buying cake for evening dessert (the best millefeuille)!
We’re looking forward to more unexpected adventures while daytripping in London in September. We’ll be sure to snap a few pics to share.
Till next month, Embrace Life!
Knee Socks At 40? Oh My!
Now if knee socks is your style, we just want to say Brava to you, work it all the way! On the other hand, if you have just gotten busy, distracted, or waylaid over the last few decades, knee socks at 40 could be a clue that it is time to update your self-identity! It might just be time to rethink the ‘Who Am I?’ question…as well as your wardrobe (“Just saying” as our lovely American assistant would chime in!)
When you think about who you are you give yourself permission to reflect on the Big Picture: Where am I headed? What’s important to me? What do I want for my life? What is my life work?
Now, that’s pretty heady stuff because your answers form the core, the foundation, of how you are in the world, your way of being. Your answers hint at how you face-up to the pressures, challenges, and demands in life. It would be sad if life was just about pressures and challenges, the Burnout Queens believe wholeheartedly that life is about adventure, discovery, and change. It goes without saying…
When you know who you are you can embrace the beauty, opportunities, and possibliities that arise in life to surprise and delight you.
If you have forgotten (or avoided) hitting the ‘refresh button’ on your self-definition chances are you’re not wearing matching socks. You see, when your outside doesn’t ‘match’ your inside it causes no end of confusion, for you and for others. You know where I’m going with this right, without consistency and congruency in your self-definition the ensuing confusion leads to mistakes about who you are, misunderstandings, and misjudgements! There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that those of us who are highly sensitive, quirky, creative (or just dancing to our own melody) hate more than being misunderstood or misjudged. It’s exhausting! We end up explaining ourselves till everyone glazes over, and that is…well boring! (If you get stuck in that ferris wheel of explaining yourself over and over, read our feature article ‘You Are the Jewel in Your Crown’ so you can get off that ride!)
My Darling, ‘boring’can never be included in the
‘Who Am I?’ of you!
Alright, so we have to talk knee highs again. You know you don’t only figure out the ‘Who am I?’ agenda one time when you’re 13 and that’s that! Even though I must say my 13 year old self had a pretty bold sense of style, it was the swinging 60s! (Do you know in recent years I have actually seen some of my very own teenage outfits in fashion retrospectives in museums! It certainly gives one pause…) Anyway I digressed, back to the plot…
It’s essential to keep uncovering, rediscovering, and recreating your knowledge and understanding of yourself.
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Every stage of life, each new decade, brings many many opportunities to update your self-definition. It doesn’t matter how ‘old’ you are! We need to embrace them all, good and bad, because the truth about who you are changes from decade to decade based on these life experiences, how you understand things differently, and from your ever expanding perspective of the world, hey the universe!
Now maybe your self-definition will only require a few tweaks, or maybe you will want to do a whole new re-do! Brand new answers to brand new questions! Marvellous! Fabulous! Now that is completely Burnout Queen style!
You know as you let go of the old, outworn bits of you, those beyond their ‘best by’ date, you open-up space in your life to create new aspects of yourself. You create room and energy for the new you to flourish.
If you want to stay inspired you need to stay fresh!
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It’s all you, my love, evolving, learning, changing, growing…you thriving and flourishing. Yes, it is of paramount importance to keep your self-identity up to date! If you don’t well, what can I say, that’s when you end up wearing knee socks at 40 (and, shhh, between you and me, not a good look!).
Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!
P.S. The BOQs would love to hear from you! Leave your wisdom and comments in the box bel
Push yourself! Try one new thing
