inspiration

Castles, business and the steep climb

12-lewes-castle

This summer I had the good fortune of visiting two castles in the SE of England.  They are both beautiful ancient structures that require a bit of legwork to take advantage of magnificant views from the top of what’s called ‘the castle keep’.

I didn’t climb the tallest, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity at Lewes Castle’s Keep which is the remaining structure still standing from the 1060’s (think about this for a moment)!  To say the view is breathtaking over the South Downs is an understatement.

It was a 35 step climb (I can be OCD on these things) and while I was on my way up I thought this is just like building a business.  Bear with me, my mind can jump into biz mode when least expected.

I climbed the first flight not knowing how far up it would go and it landed me in an open space where I could catch my breath and look at a view much higher than where I had started from.  Next flight got narrower, steeper and I was a little winded (and relieved) by the time I reached the next plateau.  The view was amazing and now, although I could see the ultimate steepness of the last flight to the top,  I was eager to go.  I could sense the excitement of climbing out onto the top of the Keep, although I didn’t know exactly what to expect.  The last climb was hard and left me breathless, but I was so glad I didn’t turn away and descend before I had challenged myself on the last leg of the staircase.  The reward was worth every moment.

It really is like building your business.  You start at the bottom and you don’t know where the top is.  Each climb gets you to a new plateau, giving you new knowledge and perspective on what you are doing and why.  You plan the next phase and then it’s time to take action by stretching yourself further.  Each time you stretch and climb you need that little extra muscle, energy and focus to reach the top…even when you don’t know what is waiting.

I love a learning curve and I love discovery.  35 steps to the top may seem small, but when it’s an ancient ruin full of tiny stone steps, a steep climb and openings narrow enough to barely accommodate a bow and arrow those 35 steps are profoundly magical.

Ready to climb?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Our Hearts Are Cold With Fear

helen and boris

Three months ago we heard that a friend had gone missing. At the time we had no idea what could have happened to her.  It was widely reported that she may have simply ‘disappeared from her life on purpose’.  She wouldn’t have done this; she was an intelligent, accomplished, savvy, gentle soul and would not have hurt the people around her like this.

Our hearts were cold with fear because we knew from all our many years of education and practice in the field of women’s studies and women’s psychology that the sad but still true fact is the mere fact of being a woman puts you at risk.

Yesterday we found out that the police had arrested a man she had come to trust in her life on suspicion of murder. They have still not found Helen.  We feel sick with our own personal grief but we also feel angry.

The majority of women who are killed are killed by trusted males in their lives. Domestic violence is still one of the leading causes of injury and death for women.

It’s not only the ‘night’ that we need to take back, we need to take back our world.  It isn’t right that we have to even think about, let alone worry about, going out alone at night, what you are wearing, how you are looking, what you say, who you flirt with or even who you live with.  It’s just not right.

For decades we have asked, oh let’s be truthful, begged women to read this brilliant book and then to give it to their daughters, granddaughters, sisters and nieces and then friends daughters, granddaughters, sisters and nieces. The book is called:

gift of fear book

The Gift of Fear. Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence by Gavin De Becker.  Published by Little, Brown and Company in 1997.

(sadly I’ve been told to add this one line…we are not receiving any payment for promoting this book)

 

We have to start somewhere to take back our world, this book offers all of us a good starting point.

So in honour of Helen, our lovely Helen and her mini-dachs Boris, please take care of yourself, please read, please please trust your intuition and protect yourself. And then…live the fullest life you can.  We can all do this for Helen.

In love and light, The Burnout Queens xx

My Reality, Your Reality, Our Reality

perspective2We all have a way of looking at things in our life.  It’s called perspective.  There’s nothing wrong with having your own perspective on things, it is after all how your eyes see the world…your reality.

 

 

perspective3

Others see the world, (their reality) through their own eyes and perspective.  We can all look at the exact same thing and see it very differently, depending on our view.  One is neither right, nor wrong, it simply is!

 

 

perspective4

Too often in my therapy practice I would hear couples and individuals question their own perspectives, as if their reality was ‘wrong’ and it needed to be put ‘right’.  Not so.   What we need to learn is the tolerance of differences that gives breathing room for all our personal realities.

 

My truth may not be your truth…but it is still Truth.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Women, Bodies & Baggage

love my body

Women’s bodies come with a full set of baggage.  We worry about how fat or thin, tight or saggy, tall or short, young or old,  beautiful or ugly we are.

It all comes down to our bodies and the relationship we have with it.  Whether it’s loving or spiteful we are stuck with it.  It is something we are born with and changes with or without our permission over a lifetime.  It changes, it grows, it develops, it moves, it gets strong, it gets weak and all manner of things in-between.

So how do you treat this ‘thing’ that holds you up and moves you through the world.  Perhaps because of that very fact alone we should learn to like it more.

Here are 8 ways you can take good care of that ‘thing’ you already love, are getting to love or have hated for years.

  1. Like her more by not comparing her to another woman
  2. Feed and water her regularly
  3. Put lotion on her and let her glow
  4. Massage her to help her move with ease
  5. Take her for a walk, bike ride, swim
  6. Sit her down
  7. Let her sleep
  8. Limit the stress and strain you put her under

Showing respect for your body will help you respect your Self and THAT darling, results in you becoming the radiant Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected you were truly meant to be.

With Love,  The Burnout Queens xx

 

 

 

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