Highly Sensitive People | The Burnout Queens

Tantrum or tiara moment?

May 3, 2014

So ladies who were raised and trained to burn out, time to share what’s purcolating under that crown of yours….

If you read our newsletter “Who should we blame for burnout? Mum of course!” (http://bit.ly/1hHLpD6) you’ll want to answer our question…

When you put your foot down to say NO or set limits for others, do you feel it’s a tantrum or tiara moment? Do you feel you are stamping your feet to get what you want, or…do you feel like you are claiming your personal power?

Leave us your opinion…it’s important to us.

The Burnout Queens

Best thing to recover from burning out

April 10, 2014

The best indicator that burnout is on it’s way out is to regain a sense of humour. A sense of fun, light-heartedness is the antithesis of feeling life is beating you up and wearing you down.

Here’s a great example from our burnt out business owner’s email autoresponder–proof that burnout is fading and excitement is returning….”Thank you for your email. Please note I will be away from the office wearing Mickey Mouse ears from…. Happy Spring Break!”

Brilliant surprise to receive this.

Change it UP!

April 1, 2014

Change it up!

Liberation from burnout is in large part about embracing change as an absolute constant in life.

When most of us think about change we think about changing stuff: habits, things, relationships, work.

But change is spiritual; it requires faith, trust, courage, beliefe, honesty, and love.

Change makes you reach inside yourself and be alone with your desires and your fears.

You have to find the courage to step off into the unknown if you want a new beginning.

You have to begin trusting and listening to yourself, rather than others.

You have to reach inside yourself and surrender to some guiding force, intuition, inner whisper or set of beliefs you can count on.

Change makes you confront the truth about your wants and dreams, your shortcomings and your strengths.

Then you have to reach inside yourself and take responsibility for it all.

Change means having the courage to let go of the outcome, be open to the unexpected, and as a consequence find serenity, strength, and eventually yourself.

Change doesn’t have to be scary, it is the process of constant renewal. When you discover that, you discover the point of being alive.

To Be (perfect)…or not to be?

March 18, 2014

Seems like we hit ANOTHER highly sensitive nerve with our last posting! For many the £1 Million question is where to be perfect and where not to be? Now, obviously I use the phrase ‘be perfect’ with tongue-in-cheek since we all here know that perfect is not attainable…we do all know that, right? Good…moving on….

Make yourself a list of areas or things in your life where you want to pursue your perfectionism. Yes, you heard it right…you are allowed to pursue your perfectionism! Look over your list and question your values around each point and then add-in the realism factor.

Can you achieve perfection on any given point, have you the time to do that, is that important to you? If you find a task that you still want to do ‘perfectly’, go for it. Just set your limits and know ahead of time what is ‘perfect’ to you. Make so called ‘perfect’ work for you not against you.

ONE GREAT TIP: Don’t let others convince you that it is wrong to have a fabulous trait, like striving for perfect! Own it, love it, redefine it, and work it!

Whoosh, did we hit a highly sensitive nerve!

March 4, 2014

Well the talk about perfectionism really struck a chord with many of you.

It’s true, given the ‘right’ upbringing, pretty well anyone can become a perfectionist, but highly sensitive and creative women naturally tend toward perfectionism. Striving for ‘perfect’ is kind of part of the package that is ‘normal for us’.

No it’s not a flaw in the wiring! It is what we call an artifact of some other fabulous traits we have. First off, HSPs are exquisitely perceptive and sensitive to communications. So as children we often pick up messages about being perfect where others wouldn’t. Highly sensitive kids ‘read between the lines’, as I like to tell parents, however, they are kids so can just as easily get the message wrong. As a parent you may not mean “do it perfectly or you won’t be loved”, but that unfortunately can be what the HSP child ‘hears’.

Here’s another thing, as HSPs we are often ‘overly’ reliable, conscientious, and concerned about pleasing others. We have a tremendous focus on detail, are good at processing, thinking, and ruminating about almost anything and everything. We keep everything we do under a microscope and are pretty consistently hard on ourselves. As one HSP client put it, “I look for the flaws in my life where others tend to look past my flaws”. Exactly.!

HSPs are so cautious about making mistakes, one could even say terrified of making mistakes, that they believe they should do anything ‘only once and do it right’. What a trap this is since all learning is, in essence, built on trial and error.

The intensity that we HSPs bring to everything we do, be it trivial or major, combined with perfectionism can put us on the fact track to burnout.