frazzled | The Burnout Queens

Finally, I had arrived…but where?

August 2, 2026

I’m sitting here totally frustrated! My laptop has decided on work to rule and my printer won’t communicate with my laptop! This is all due to an ‘upgrade’ that would be faster, better, quicker, easier. It’s not. I yearn for the ‘old days’ (that would be last week) when all was working just fine and plenty fast enough to get everything done.

So, I ask you Universe (‘cause you can’t talk to a human in the same country) in all sincerity and bewilderment, why does everything have to be quicker, faster, better. Just so you know, I’m not some old fuddy-duddy who wants to go back to the days of dial-up (and before you ask, yes I do remember them but only for a very short time).

We have decades in our lives that are defined by achieving, moving up, doing more, setting one bigger goal after another. I admit I remember when 18-hour days were a badge of honour. I’d arrived…but where? For me it was the land of burnout!

As we get older nature naturally begins to slow us down. Not in some scary way but in a way that encourages us to pursue more relaxation, leisure, softer values, and maybe even eventually retiring from the busyness of work-life.

We can stop trying so hard, pushing through and simply be. We can retire from busyness, hurrying just for the sake of hurrying, saying yes to please others, giving everything to our job (when did work become everything?), putting everyone else’s needs first, or doing things that don’t really matter to you.

As we find a different style of living we go through lots of changes. Some of these changes feel uncomfortable (like playing ‘hooky’ from school) but many of these changes are a welcomed breath of fresh air. With age we have the chance to reflect on what we truly want to do.

Redefining aging, and retirement, means reengaging with newness, change, reflection, beauty, quiet time, friends that ‘get you’, activities that resonate with who you are, new discoveries, adventures, creativity, old dreams, and new dreams.

The big surprise was how easy it was to make these changes, not all at once, but gradually, slowly, savouring each and every new sense of freedom.

The thing I want you to take from this is knowing that in order to find something new you always have to leave something old behind. For me it was a burnout lifestyle.

Cheers, Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka The Burnout Queens)xx

On the other side of Burnout

July 8, 2026

We want you to think and dream about the other side of burnout. Even though we talk about how Bliss can be yours after burnout, let’s be clear…Bliss doesn’t mean…

sitting on a beach with a fancy drink
a remote island where you meditate all day long
that enlightenment is just around the corner

And it certainly doesn’t mean that life can’t catch up with you and bite you in the… well you know!

Life is never a straight line, it’s more of a spiral path. There will always be ups and downs, new surprises and discoveries, and, of course decisions and problems to solve.

But with each step you take, each level you transcend you will have discovered how strong you are and how resilient you are. Even more than that, you will know what’s right for you and what’s wrong. You won’t be afraid to leave something behind in pursuit of something new. One step at a time, and you own each and every amazing step. You will believe in your path, YOUR path, down to your very gut.

On the other side of Burnout you will live life your way because, believe it or not, Burnout leads you closer to the real, true YOU.

Embrace Life!

Dr Toby & Dr Bev (aka: The Burnout Queens}

Travelling tips for our executive clients

December 5, 2017

We have a few of our Highly Sensitive Executives either in-flight or just returning from Conference Season in all parts of the globe. It’s not uncommon these days to hop the globe, a continent, or many continents all in one go. The time changes can be challenging to say the least.

We found this great ‘tips’ article in The Daily Telegraph’s Lifestyle section that may be just what these ‘doctors’ ordered as a good way to curb jetlag and still be sane at the end of your business obligations.

Enjoy and fly safe!

The Burnout Queens xx

READ THE ARTICLE HERE: 7 ways to outsmart jet lag.

Email skills up to snuff? Part 3

October 19, 2017

Here’s the third Email Mistake that makes all of us look unprofessional according to Inc.com. It’s easy to do when you are bombarded by inbox overload or are squeezed for time. However, this mistake can make the best of us steam with irritation (at least it does me)

Slow response or no response at all.

The Inc article makes it clear that you should acknowledge receiving an email from someone, even if you quickly answer ‘got it’. I am so happy that this is what our VA does each time I send work from the UK to the US. One word from her that it landed in her inbox allows me to just move on knowing the work will be handled. Bless her she’s a highly sensitive person as well, so she ‘gets’ the importance of replies.

However, (this is a big irritation to me and most HSP’s I know) if I send an email with substantial information, opinion or suggestions in it, if I send a client a personalised visualisation, if I email a colleague with a joint business idea…I want to hear that it was received!!!!!! (notice irritation growing.)

You can double my irritation (and confusion) if a colleague or client wants to book time with me, and I take quick action to reply and offer a time slot (time zones are a challenge when working globally) and then I wait for a no-or-slow response…! Nothing irks me more than being asked for something, delivering, and then waiting for confirmation! I am left thinking several things.

My email never arrived or is languishing somewhere in the Ethernet.
The request for my time wasn’t that important in the first place (but I am keeping a timeslot open which means it’s still on my mind).
The person is lazy or impolite because they aren’t checking their inbox…hello (either way I’m starting to steam)!
They feel they are too busy and oops, ‘sorry it went to the bottom of my to-do list’.

Regardless of the WHY of no-or-slow replies to emails, the article (and I totally agree) suggests we filter and prioritise our emails and always send a quick reply regardless of restraints…(got it, got this, will reply tomorrow, I’ll get back to you on this asap).

I always use these suggestions and I always appreciate when others do the same. Don’t you?

(hello…are you there)

(hello?)

Hmm, note to self, better check this article reached everybody!

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Check out the other 2 Email Mistakes that Make Us Look Unprofessional.

Email skills up to snuff?

Email skills up to snuff? Part 2

Too Exhausted for a Life Vision…think again!

March 24, 2017

The Burnout Queens know that most of our Highly Sensitive Women are tired, frazzled and pulled in every direction in their everyday lives. So to suggest one more thing for them to pack into their lives seems cruel. But…

A Life Vision is just what these doctors order for frazzled, fried and burned out women. We know that on any given day, plans can get interrupted, postponed and forgotten in all the details of ‘being and doing’ for everyone. THAT is precisely why having a Life Vision is so very important to cultivate at different stages of your life. When it all goes sideways, isn’t it better to be able to go back to the drawing board and know you have already drawn something to follow? When the chaos and busyness drop off, you can reconnect with yourself quickly and without much struggle.

Quickly and without struggle. Foreign words to busy women, but they can exist.

On our previous blog (Do You Have a Life Vision) we outlined two of our Ideas about Life Visioning to help you get started and not become overwhelmed. Today we’re offering another two for your consideration.

The Burnout Queens want you to stop struggling and actually think about what it is you want in your life. It’s easier to plan and achieve once the vision (the big picture) is clear. So try these:

Idea: Vision is different than purpose. However, the dreams you have for your life can reveal your purpose to you. Your life purpose is embedded in your life vision at the age of 12 or 20 or 50 or 80 or…

Idea: Dreams come from the realm of “what if” and having a vision or a dream requires truthfulness about who you are and what you want. Truthfulness in your vision does not have to lead to limitation. Vision is expansive, illusion is limiting. Vision lends itself to plans and goals, illusion is a dead end.

Come on Darling. Start dreaming and achieving a life you want to live for yourself. I bet you do it all the time for your family, your friends, your colleagues. It’s time for you to get the big picture for your life and step in!

(It may help to read our March 11th Feature Article: Seeking the Big Picture | Life Vision Means Living Burnout Free here:

Leave us a comment and share what your vision is. We’d love to hear.

With love, The Burnout Queens xx