Dr Toby

Co-owner, The Burnout Queens

Go Ahead and Change It! (and we don’t mean your hair colour)

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We love change; small change, big change, change that is truly exciting and at times change that makes us go weak at the knees. Sometimes we embrace change without giving it a second thought, and then there are times…oh yes there are those times…we think it through until we drive ourselves nuts (that’s a clinical term by the way!).

Change is not necessarily easy, but oh (!!!) it is empowering.

Mostly when people think about ‘change’ they think about changing stuff: habits, things, hair colour, work, shoes. Anybody can change stuff, but if you find yourself thinking or saying, “I want to change my life! I want to change who I am!” then you are talking about a bolder, braver, bigger kind of change. This kind of change needs a real shift in belief and a willingness to stretch waaaaay beyond the familiar.

Change like this lifts you up and makes you defy ordinary.

To us change is a spiritual journey because it takes a lot of trust, courage, belief, honesty, faith and love.

  • You have to reach inside yourself and be alone with your fears.
  • You have to reach inside yourself and find the courage to step off into the unknown.
  • You have to reach inside yourself and find the strength to trust yourself.
  • You have to reach inside yourself and surrender to some guiding force, intuition, or set of beliefs you can rely on.
  • You have to reach inside yourself and confront the truth about your desires and dreams.
  • You have to reach inside yourself and acknowledge your shortcomings and your strengths.
  • You have to reach inside yourself and dare to take responsibility for it all.
  • Then you have to count to 3, hold your nose and JUMP! Now that takes real faith.

Once you are ready to do that you are ready to Defy Ordinary!

So as this year draws to a close and we all peak around the corner of the New Year in anticipation of what is to come, we invite you to join us as we Defy Ordinary in a year of change. Why not join us for the adventure?

Cheers until 2015!

Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!
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Suffer From “End-Of Holiday Worry-Talk” ?

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Holidays are one of the few times we get away and leave all the ‘worries’ behind, unless you are a ‘Sunday night worrier’ like me! From the time I started school this HSP (that’s Highly Sensitive Person for any newbies) would spend the last day of weekends worrying about Monday. Then came Summer holidays and I would fret through August as I watched ‘back to school’ tv ads! Ditto for the Christmas hols! So why should I be any different as an HSP adult? I’m not.

During the last couple of days of any holiday thoughts and worries about work, obligations & responsibilities flood my mind. My bet is some of you endure the same ones! “How much work has been left on my desk? What problems am I returning to? How many emails are waiting? Did that sale go through? Will clients remember me after the Holiday? Did I book the vet visit for January?”

Doesn’t seem to matter what I’m doing or where I’m working, the same worry-talk shows up.

The mind chatter appears, the worries kick-in and the fretting starts: tension, anxiousness, pressure, and dread. Personally, I get knots in my stomach, feel like I can’t relax or have fun and usually suffer a night or two of restless sleep.

It’s easy to feel tired at the very thought of juggling it all again.

Well, it’s time to get proactive and stop being bullied by your worries! The first thing you need to do is become aware that this is a worry pattern you regularly fall into. (Could be as regularly as every weekend!) Once you see the pattern for what it is start to identify specific worries, like: ‘When I think about getting back to work I start to worry about…or, I stress-out about…when I think about the Holidays ending’. It doesn’t matter how big or trivial you think your concerns are, if they worry you, they count!

Take time to ponder each one. (Don’t you just love that word ‘ponder’?) Are they typical you-type worries? Have you handled similar situations in the past? What’s your track record been? We just know that it’s highly unlikely you’ve been an outright failure at handling them! So, if you generally handle such pressures pretty well, chances are you’ll deal with them all at least as well as you did all the other times.

Now, if you honestly believe you don’t handle such stresses well, figure out ahead of time (which is why we are sending this out early in December!) what you need to DO to overcome the stress or the problem. Put a plan of action together that you will follow when you get back. Write it down.

You need to look at the reality of your worries and stresses in the context of your past performance. Then carry that truth forward. Most of us have a nasty way of under-estimating our ability to handle problems or pressures. The clearer you are about your ability to problem-solve and take care of business, the quicker your end-of-holiday worrying will subside.

We don’t want you spoiling those precious remaining vacation days by fretting unnecessarily! You’ve been here before! You’ve done all this before! You’ve solved it all before!

So, no big surprises except, hopefully, the gift-wrapped ones!


Here’s one great tip!

‘Tis the season of gift giving so here are a few tips to keep you jolly!

  • Assign worrisome tasks or situations to a trusted co-worker or assistant to keep an eye on things while you are away.
  • Plan your first week back before leaving. Have a ‘to do’ list ready so you know exactly where to start when you get back to work.
  • Let everyone think you are returning a day later than you are. Use your first day back in the office to get re-oriented to what has to be done.
  • Grab your calendar for the New Year and book yourself some vacation time! (Yes, right now!)

Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!
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