Dr Toby | The Burnout Queens

Don’t Become a Boring Betty

June 12, 2015

Do you feel like you are sleepwalking through your day…maybe your life? Maybe that’s because you have fallen into a routine of the same old-same old. What’s wrong with routine? Nothing, absolutely nothing, except that most women fear that routine will turn them into Boring Betty! We believe it is the opposite. At the Burnout Queens we are BIG believers in routine. Why you ask? That’s easy!

Having a solid foundation of routine in your life lets you shake it up!

You can turn the hourglass upside down, paint your nails neon pink instead of shell pink, and go for the espresso instead of the decaf, soy latte, hold the syrup! Routine gives you the break-out factor. If you already have that foundation of routine quietly and unobtrusively laying the groundwork in the background you’re free to go ahead and do the unexpected and your life will not fall apart, not even fray around the edges.

Did you seriously think that we would advocate living a dull, monotonous, uninspired and routine-heavy life? How could we! These Burnout Queens just packed up their entire life once again and moved it to the seaside! Just the other day in a quiet reflective HSP moment I found myself asking myself (something like this…) “Self, how do we do it? How can we just pack up our lives, move on and carry on really not missing a beat? Come on Self, what’s our secret?” (Yes, to answer your question, I do often muse with myself this way).

Well, here’s our secret, we live a cultivated life. I borrowed the word ‘cultivated’ from Thomas Moore author of ‘A Life At Work’ (which, by the way, if you haven’t read, you must). I love the word ‘cultivated’ because I think of a garden, a cared for and well tended garden, not perfect, but not overrun; a garden that is healthy and thriving, you can tell it is loved and nourished by the way it shows its beauty. As a gardener, I know you cannot ask a garden to flourish without routines. You could see the watering and weeding as ‘boring’ or you could experience them as ‘soul-ful’.

‘Cultivated’, yes that is the perfect word: planned, prepared, instructed, nourished, tended, cultured, created and cherished. That kind of perfectly describes the life we set out to create post-burnout. Our life has this bedrock of quiet routine that gives it a rhythm and equilibrium. Sometimes that rhythm sound pop, sometimes its Latin jazz, sure throw in some rap, and maybe an aria or two. So, far from making life dull, mundane, predictable or boring we use that quiet rhythm of routine to connect us to our life whether it is watering the patio each evening, Sunday breakfast out, early morning dog walks or doing the daily coffee run.

Sometimes simple routine things give you the freedom to defy ordinary!
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If you feel like you are sleepwalking through your life don’t blame the mundane, no no no, shake it up, take chances, make choices, expect the unexpected and have adventures. Shake up your attitude and embrace routine. Cultivated your life and wake-up to what you want, desire, and dream of creating.

Here’s one great tip:

What things that drive you batty over the week? Make them routine.

Say…grocery shopping, what a hassle! Make it routine. What if you stopped on your way home on Friday evening (yes even as tired as you are)? That means food for the weekend, no Saturday morning crowds to fight, instead enjoying that extra morning cuppa along with a lovely weekend treat you picked up on your now routine Friday shop!

Let’s take another, something I always forget to do, scheduling self-maintenance (haircuts, manicures, pedicures, facials, dental or medical appointments) well in advance. So much easier than scrambling last minute with an already squeezed calendar!

Once you start browsing through your week or month to see where you could start creating that gentle foundation in your life you will be amazed at what you can easily make routine and how it frees you up to enjoy!

One last thing to make an absolute routine…time to dream about all the adventures you will now have time for.

Add your wise words to the mix. Share your gentle routines with us all on the Facebook space below.

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

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Hello from Brighton & London: 6 June 2015

June 6, 2015

Happy June! It’s not long until summer arrives darling, so get your sunblock, sandals and sunhat ready for the seaside.

The Burnout Queens are on a quest to live a rich and thoughtful life. So each month we build in opportunities to feed our souls. Whether physical, emotional or spiritual in nature, these opportunities keep us on track so we don’t get all lopsided with all work and no ease.

The burnout pups are always a priority. First stop show them the sea (short dachie legs means lots of bench time)! Second step find a new vet (shhhhh! they get their checkups & jabs Monday). You just never know what you will find here, on one of our pups outings we came across the most bizarre garden centre ever (we think you’ll agree)!

London is just a short train ride away. When we arrived at the station close to VE (Victory Europe) day we were met with this lovely salute to all the soldiers. Beautiful isn’t it? Then off to shop and ‘coffee’ in Chelsea, our favourite neighbourhood.

What do you do when you have lots of ‘things’ to display and can’t be creative enough to make it look stylish? Call in Paulie, our local, brilliant florist whose shop windows & flowers we love to admire. She came and spent several hours transforming our mess into a masterpiece! (Florian the Florist)

Can’t forget to take Dr T to a birthday tea celebration. Off we went to Royal Brighton Pavilion for a tour and tea in their tea room. What a place to sip tea and have cake. Fit for a queen!

Brighton Fringe Festival took place all of May and that included Art Open Houses (over 200 of them). Each Open House (studios, galleries, and private homes & gardens) was bursting with sculptures, paintings, jewelry & crafts. We just walked and enjoyed each weekend and it was a great way to get to know all the city districts (not to mention peeking inside homes).

No festival is complete without food and we weren’t disappointed. Baking, vegetables, herbs & ‘camp’ cooks made for a fun Sunday morning. Even Dr B got into the spirit of planting! (at this rate perhaps we’ll eat our bounty next year!).

Don’t let anyone tell you work isn’t fun when you have a photoshoot booked with Caroline True (http://www.carolinetruephotography.com). We spent the day enjoying Brighton, The Lanes and just being silly on Brighton Pier! A day of laughing, posing, singing to 70’s music & just hanging around the city. Too fab, too fun to call it work!

What will June bring? We’ve already started!

Till next month, Embrace Life!

Today I will do something luxurious

June 4, 2015

Embrace Ease

June 2, 2015

Turn Stress On Its Head

May 30, 2015

Seriously, this last month I wanted two of me (or perhaps three if you include the one who just wants to ‘do tea’ and doddle in the garden) but I’d settle for two. I’m sure you have weeks (or months) like that as well when you just can’t figure out how to get it all done. Well there I was, mid yoga stretch (relax, breathe into the pose, let it go…) when it hit me, I could fret it or fight it but ultimately what I really need to do is simply turn stress on its head.

Relax and breathe into that daily stretch
called life.
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Most of us want to make our lives more flexible, relaxed and harmonious, but it feels impossibly hard to do that with all the daily pressures, challenges, demands, not to mention the constant time squeeze we all feel. Fact is, we cause lots of that daily stress by going too fast, cramming too much in, jumping when everybody else clicks their fingers, stretching in too many directions, way too many directions, and sometimes when life just gets in the way of life! (Like right now when I settled down to finish this newsletter for you all and the security firm arrived to test all the fire alarms! Ah Life…)

Now in the past my reaction to the pressure would have been to get all tensed up, annoyed and worried. In turn I’d furiously attempt to get more focused, work faster, add another task to my list (duh go figure that one!), in short dig in and push harder. Hey, that’s what made me the perfect Burnout Queen! Of course, none of this proved remarkably effective, instead it simply added to my sense of overwhelm.

I love the idea of breathing into life; deeply inhaling all life has to offer (yes, stress and all, that’s why it’s called life) then relaxing on the exhale while you let it all go. Imagine (no, seriously, close your eyes and imagine…) not feeling the resistance, not feeling the pressure, not feeling squeezed. Could it be that we could actually stretch further, be more flexibile, experience more flow in life and at the same time gain in strength and resilience? Now that’s turning stress on it’s head and that’s exactly what comes from accepting that life can be simpler, more breathable so to speak.

Imagine replacing resistance with harmony and peace.
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We can all stretch and reach farther than we ever thought we could without encountering the chaos and overwhelm of tension, stress and ultimately burnout. Take that full breath in, breathe out and let your body, mind and your soul fill and flow with new ideas, new dreams, new directions, or maybe a whole new way of being.

Be cool with life…

Here’s one great tip:

The next time the ‘alarm bells’ ring in your life do the opposite to your natural reflex of digging in and working harder. Stop what you’re doing, walk away from it and breathe. Everytime you exhale…let it go. It’s life.

Until next time…Grab Life by the Crown!