burnout

What is burnout; information and understanding of the experience of burning out

True story of a smart highly sensitive woman

October 20, 2016

I was reminded of #19 the other day and the power one little action step can have in a person’s life.

Helen (a member of The Realm) wrote Dr T & I about a fire that happened in her home. She said it would have been so much worse if she hadn’t taken this one little action step (taken from our free guide Be The Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected…60 fabulous tips to help you live with less pressure and more ease). Here’s what she wrote:

Hello lovely ladies – Bev and Toby one of the reasons we were ok and that we didn’t lose the roof was that last weekend I decided to try calm and collected no. 19 -clear out! Previously there had been lots of IKEA toys in the roof space just above the seat of the fire, we cleared these last weekend and took them to a charity shop. The fire investigator said had they still been in situ dripping molten plastic and toxic fumes would have spread the fire and endangered the life of anyone attempting to put out the blaze – I.e. me and hubby. Following your advice saved me from being a burnt to toast queen! Thank you so much xx

And here’s #19 for you to take action on. This could just make you the Queen of calm, cool and collected too.

#19 Clear out and get clear!

When your overwhelm button gets pushed…declutter. A good tidy-up makes you feel back in charge in a flash. (And it’s soooo productive!) Go ahead and pick a closet, a drawer, a handbag, your desk or a filing cabinet and get going. Choose your strategy: recycle, sort, shred, donate, sell or simply bin it. Use that unwelcome moment of overwhelm to clear up the junk in your life…literally and figuratively!

I absolutely love that our tips and solutions are so profound in making a woman’s life simpler, easier and in Helen’s case, safer. Thank you for sharing this with us Helen, you deserve tea and cake!

Why not be like Helen and grab our free guide Be the Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected. Just enter your details in the box below. You will thank yourself at some point, we guarantee it.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Castles, business and the steep climb

October 18, 2016

This summer I had the good fortune of visiting two castles in the SE of England. They are both beautiful ancient structures that require a bit of legwork to take advantage of magnificant views from the top of what’s called ‘the castle keep’.

I didn’t climb the tallest, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity at Lewes Castle’s Keep which is the remaining structure still standing from the 1060’s (think about this for a moment)! To say the view is breathtaking over the South Downs is an understatement.

It was a 35 step climb (I can be OCD on these things) and while I was on my way up I thought this is just like building a business. Bear with me, my mind can jump into biz mode when least expected.

I climbed the first flight not knowing how far up it would go and it landed me in an open space where I could catch my breath and look at a view much higher than where I had started from. Next flight got narrower, steeper and I was a little winded (and relieved) by the time I reached the next plateau. The view was amazing and now, although I could see the ultimate steepness of the last flight to the top, I was eager to go. I could sense the excitement of climbing out onto the top of the Keep, although I didn’t know exactly what to expect. The last climb was hard and left me breathless, but I was so glad I didn’t turn away and descend before I had challenged myself on the last leg of the staircase. The reward was worth every moment.

It really is like building your business. You start at the bottom and you don’t know where the top is. Each climb gets you to a new plateau, giving you new knowledge and perspective on what you are doing and why. You plan the next phase and then it’s time to take action by stretching yourself further. Each time you stretch and climb you need that little extra muscle, energy and focus to reach the top…even when you don’t know what is waiting.

I love a learning curve and I love discovery. 35 steps to the top may seem small, but when it’s an ancient ruin full of tiny stone steps, a steep climb and openings narrow enough to barely accommodate a bow and arrow those 35 steps are profoundly magical.

Ready to climb?

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

10 Years Stronger and loving it

October 4, 2016

The Realm’s weekly postcard with it’s assignment arrived in my inbox this past Sunday. It made me think about the question and how I would answer it, and so I posted in our private facebook page.

Then I thought, this is important, so I’m sharing it here as well.

The assignment for this week’s The Realm postcard asked our members to think not about their age, but about what or how age has changed them for the better over the last 10 years. So here was my answer….

” 10 years on and I am stronger and more able to say NO to people and things that aren’t right for me. How did I come to this? After several ‘crazy and manipulative’ people in my life pre UK and here as well, I can clearly and quickly see the train wreck coming towards me, so I say NO and get out. It may look like I’m a rude or unfriendly person, but having experienced prolonged relationships with friends, colleagues and family members who were not good for my health and mind, I have learned I have a choice to look after me.”

Here are my examples (and feel free to leave yours in the comments below)

If someone blames me for something they clearly did themselves…they are banished quickly (my new Burnout Queen rules)
If someone undermines, smears or belittles me and what I know in order to bolster their own inadequacies…they are banished immediately.
If someone wants to talk only and always about themselves, and never asks about me…they are given a few chances…and then they are banished forever!

Some people will judge this as b**chy (and believe you me they have and on several occasions convinced me I was) but I don’t mind because 10 years on, my heart is in the right place and I am firm about what I have learned the hard way.

Life post-burnout is ‘very’ different thankfully.

Love, The Burnout Queens xx

Rest for the Soul

September 28, 2016

We awoke to a great new research study being talked about on BBC Breakfast earlier this week. It’s called The Anatomy of Rest and perhaps you’ve heard about it by now. If not, let us share some of the findings with you.

We are talking about REST, which is not to be confused with Sleep. There has been plenty of research conducted on sleep patterns, amount of sleep, sleep deprivation, etc, etc, etc. For the first time there is a study on rest. 18,000 people from 134 countries took a Rest Test by BBC Radio 4 and Wellcome Collection’s researchers Hubbub. What do you think they found?

The findings are bang on with what we at The Burnout Queens and all our community of highly sensitive and exhausted women know all too well. We need and want more rest!

2/3 of the people in this study said they wanted more rest. When asked what would rest look like, it came in different forms, everything from sleeping, sipping coffee, sitting in front of the TV and doing ultramarathons. The top ‘rest activity’ came as a surprise to the research team… Reading. The other top activities were ‘being in nature’, music and being alone. It seems the majority of us need and want regular solitude to rest and restore ourselves.

So why don’t we rest more? The report showed we feel guilty when we squeeze out time for ourselves. I don’t think this is surprising to women. We feel selfish and self-centred (which means our guilt and stress rises) when we take time away from everything and everybody else in our lives to have a quiet moment for us. Women are already living in a state of exhaustion and don’t think they have the ‘time’ to recoup. We have to turn that notion on it’s head. The ultimate gift we can give ourselves is to consciously and deliberately create an inner calm that will make us more resilient to the outside world.

Now here’s the easy part. The Burnout Queens have designed a fast, simple and extremely effective group of 21audios and videos that help you create that inner calm and resilience needed in your everyday life. Quiet the Buzz of Everyday Life…creating calm for the Highly Sensitive Woman can be done anywhere, anytime; walking, shopping, waiting for the kids, on your break, waiting for your latte. Promise.

Why not see for yourself and solve the dilemma of rest, calm and quiet within yourself?!? Watch our video about Quiet the Buzz and get yourself started now

Embrace the calm!

With love, The Burnout Queens

5 Things That Frustrate Me!

August 8, 2016

These ‘things’ I’m about to list truly get my blood pressure rising…and quickly….

See if any of these hit a nerve for you too.

1. Technology (like the keyboard on this blogsite) that jumps around the page, erases my words without my permission and doesn’t load the pictures I want it to!

2. Technology having a language all to itself, so that when I go to order a new mobile (cell) phone, I can’t properly discuss what giggabytes, megabytes, little bits, big bits that are needed with the sales guy on the other line.

3. Ordering technology. If you want to order over the phone then trying to find a contact number is like finding a needle in a haystack. Why do I have to order ‘online’ all the time. What ever happened to the personal touch.

4. Using technology to talk to someone long distance. Why is it that every time I am set to speak to a client via Skype (I have a paid subscription) Skype decides it’s time for them to update my system. Really, you are getting in the way of my calls!

5. Technology security updates everything on my desktop during the day (lovely feature that my computer guy installed)…but if I’m in the middle of writing something out on my computer, it slows everything down until it’s done.

Let me add a final note here. I don’t like being controlled by my computer! I will never get used to this and I don’t think I want to either. After all personal control should be something that is under my control…shouldn’t it?!?

Now that I’ve had my say, I think I will find some peaceful place to sit…far away from technology…and let nature control things for a bit. I believe in ‘her’ more than I will ever believe in technology.

Love, Dr B (a frustrated Burnout Queen at this moment)

PS: Then I’m off to re-read Be The Queen of Calm, Cool & Collected. Have you got your copy as well?

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