I was nose deep in the Oxford dictionary (a childhood habit I still secretly indulge in) looking up a word that I and many other HSPs frequently use, and that word is DRUDGERY.   Most often it is used in association with work.  However, I was thinking how sometimes that same feeling of drudgery goes beyond work, way beyond a job.  There have been times in my life when I felt like I was drowning in drudgery!  So what is going on when LIFE starts feeling like drudgery?  Here’s the dictionary scoop on drudgery…

Drudgery refers to dull and hard work.  Yes, that simple.  I admit I was expecting more.  Now, I’m confused.  You see I don’t mind hard work and occasionally I even relish dull work (it gives my overactive brain a rest, like folding socks).  No, drudgery doesn’t quite capture the experience of feeling like someone has turned the lights out on your life.  Back to my old friend Oxford!

Now here’s a word, TRUDGE:  to walk with slow and heavy steps.  Yes, that definitely describes what some days feel like when you are not enjoying life, but simply going through the motions.  Life definitely feels like this when you are in the process of burning out.  (I used to describe this feeling as walking through wet cement).  Then it hit me!

It’s TRUDGERY!

Trudging is existential.  When I am trudging I am lost.   I am caught in the minutia of life.  One day blurs into the next.  I’m exhausted and totally unsatisfied.  I am just doing and don’t know why.  (Hmmm, sounds a lot like burnout!)  I don’t know where I’m going, I have no idea why I’m going, but I’m going.  The thing about trudgery, you can be fully in motion and still feel meaningless.

“Sorry don’t have time to sit down and think about where I am going, you see I’m trudging.”  Trudge trudge trudge… Next stop, burnout.

Right, now I’m going to confuse you even more!  (Never let me loose in a dictionary!)  Seriously I can’t even remember why this word jumped out at me, but it did and behold it made perfect sense.  REDEEM.   Now there were a few variations on this theme, but one made total sense: to regain possession of something in exchange for payment.  BINGO! 

We have been “trudging towards redemption!”  Walking with slow and heavy steps through the dull and the mundane (don’t forget tedious!) in order to regain possession of something which you have come to believe you are paying for day in and day out with monotony, boredom, lack of enthusiasm, loss of energy and ultimately with what feels like selling your soul!  And in this moment of enlightenment we have our solution.  Right here right now we are writing off your debt!

You don’t have to ‘make payment’ for who you are, how you live your life, the work you want to do, your creative soul, or just being YOU!

Say it out loud, “ I will not trudge through my life.  My days of trudging are over.  (We can’t hear you! Louder!) My days of trudging are history!

We know that sometimes it’s ‘easier’ to trudge than to be all paid-up and ready to move on.  “Oh no, move on where?”  You don’t need to know where right now, or even how.  You just need to know that deciding not to trudge is a one time decision that is yours to make.

Swearing off trudging is one of those big life U-turns!  In an instant everything is different. 
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Oh, we know it’s not always that simple and it doesn’t automatically mean your relationship will get an instant make-over or your job won’t be drudgery come Monday, but it really isn’t as complex as you think.   Here’s what you need to do…

Each and every morning when your feet hit the floor, recommit to your present and your future.  Remind yourself that you will no longer ‘trudge towards redemption’.

• You are free NOW to walk your own path, or dance it if you dare!
• You are free NOW to do the work you love to do.
• You are free NOW to pursue your dreams and desires.
• You are free NOW to live as boldly and as bravely as the very unique, sensitive, creative YOU chooses to!
• You are free NOW to live life, your life, as YOU.

Don your crown, are you ready?   The Burnout Queens declare!  You are redeemed.  No more trudging.

You are free NOW to defy ordinary!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!

P.S.  The BOQs would love to hear from you!  Leave your wisdom and comments in the box below. 

Stuck, stuck, stuck…just think of the possibilities, possibilities galore! 

Having said that, we admit, it’s a pretty awful feeling, feeling stuck, feeling like you are getting nowhere.  In fact it terrifies the boldest amongst us!  That’s because there is this idea, or ideal, that we must always be getting somewhere, anywhere, even if we don’t know where.  As long as we believe we are moving, we’re ok, approved of, and accepted.

I was about to write that feeling stuck is real, but you know I would be lying.  There is no such feeling or emotion as ‘stuck’.  However,  I will bet if you are ‘stuck’ you are feeling unsure, confused, uncomfortable, hesitant, and most definitely fearful.  The result of all these feelings is, well yes being stuck, but becoming what is commonly experienced as anxious, defensive, resistant, panicked, and powerless to change it.  These ‘stuck’ reactions all come from being afraid: afraid to take the next step, afraid of change, afraid of staying the same, afraid of becoming someone new, afraid of your dreams and your desires.  So you tell yourself you don’t know what to do…you are stuck.

Well, my loves, knowing you are stuck, being stuck, can herald the biggest step you will ever take.
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Here’s what stuck is… one foot on one edge of what feels like a precipice, one foot on the other side, and being too afraid to shift your weight.  If you move an  inch you believe you are going to fall into the abyss, into the unknown.  When you are in that dire head-space  you can’t take in new possibilities and you can’t let go of old and tired ones.   You are stuck.  You feel like the natural rhythm of your life has stopped. You feel frozen in some part of your life, maybe in your whole life.  But what if there is no abyss to take a header into?  What if, that next precarious step you take, you know that dangerous one, is the one that sets you on a whole new path?

Feeling stuck means something is ending, or already ended, but we don’t want to admit it.
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Oh, we probably know it’s ended, we just pretend we don’t know.  That way we can stay put, dig in, hold tight, stay the course, and moan.  While this is all very noble and valiant it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore your Inner Queen  shouting  “It’s over ma’am, move on!”  (You always must address a Queen as ma’am!)  

So, have you ever considered that as something ends, at that same moment in time, something new is beginning?  Fascinating!  So instead of becoming stuck life opens to new options and discoveries.  And a Burnout Queen never stops discovering. 

Here’s a little visualisation to try on yourself (indulge me please).

Picture yourself (or go ahead be brave and physically do it) sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor.  You cannot move left or right,  You can only twirl around on your bottom.  A friend walks in the room and asks:

What are you doing?   You reply…I’m stuck.  Why?  Are you hurt?  Do I need to call an ambulance?  No, you reply, I’m stuck.   What do you mean, can’t you get up?  I could, you reply, but I’m stuck.

Your friend starts looking puzzled or suspicious (like you’ve been smoking something funny)

I’m confused, your friend says.  Me too, you reply, that’s why I’m stuck.  Why don’t you come over here and sit on the sofa and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea?  your friend offers lovingly.  I would love that, you say, but I can’t, you see [altogether everybody] I’m stuck!

We could keep on going but you get the picture…you’re stuck.  However, you are not super-glued to the floor!

What’s keeping you stuck is your mind, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and fears.

Indeed being stuck is a point of opportunity.  At the very point you feel immobilised you need to engage your imagination because being stuck means that for once there are no obvious goals or limits (self imposed or other imposed) to get in the way, not a  boundary in sight!  Hoorah!  You are finally free to move on, and all because of this blessed state of being stuck!

So when you hear yourself declaring “I can’t –  I’m stuck!” Time to shake your head, (then for sure secure your crown) take a deep breath and repeat after me out loud (no louder)  …

I am stuck, I am strong, and I can!  I am ready for adventure because I am a Burnout Queen!

Until Next Time…Grab Life by the Crown!