Life is untidy, real life that is, not the ‘edited’ version that everyone shares nowadays. Now, because we specialise in encouraging, and hopefully inspiring, women to tame their burnout monster and embrace the life they dream of, it is often assumed that the BOQs life is ‘perfect’ and (we love this one) ‘easy’! Well, my darlings we hate to burst your bubble, but…
Ours is a layered life, as opposed to a balanced one.
It is calm and hectic, complicated and simple, spontaneous and yet organised, interesting and yet pleasantly boring, unexpected and at the same time deliciously ordinary.
Our life is anything but perfect. It is most definitely well lived in. There are even times when it feels like chaos, but it’s our creative chaos and when we embrace that we, like you, are free to ‘wing it’.
In the interest of sharing let me just say it’s been a week, or two or three. One thing after another the interruptions and disruptions just keep on coming. Now, we’re not talking earth shattering catastrophes, no, just life’s bits and pieces; irritations, hassles, interruptions, disruptions, unexpected dilemmas, sudden changes, and a couple of crises thrown in to boot, which is exactly why this article is a week late. (Let me just say, I hate late, I don’t do late, not in my DNA to be late, but there you are it’s late.) Here’s a sampler…
Multiple tech meltdowns made it appear as if our systems had been hacked. Don’t worry, and don’t rush to unsubscribe, they hadn’t. We assure you no one is at risk, but it sure put our schedule behind. Then, more tech…
Our mobile phone network deactivated our phones (don’t ask, never ask, they just did). After hours of mind-numbing calls with off-shore call centres we cancelled the account. Little did we know they just cancelled our numbers! So we are slowly getting reconnected to our world even though our world doesn’t know we are disconnected cause they don’t have our new numbers. Next…
We were gardening (to offset the tech stress) and the pups were barking at our new neighbours’ cats (a new found entertainment) and the littlest one ended up with a sprained leg. Why does this always happen on long weekends? We set up an emergency visit but a few hours later she was ok so we were to monitor her. Then she stopped eating. That’s when we discovered a loose tooth! Emergency dental surgery was scheduled for the next day. Draw a line through any plans for that week! Seven lost teeth later (she is down a total of 10) she is back in form but gumming her food and limping from time to time. We have since discovered she has a bad hip, geez! Then there were…
Deliveries for all the things we have realised we need (yes need not want) like a lawnmower since moving into a house. Every day was something different: some deliveries arrived and some didn’t: some were found, some weren’t. The best one was the ‘delivery boy’ who couldn’t find the parcel in the back of the van, didn’t seem to speak a word of English except to say “I’m going” and drove off! Really?
Of course in between all the ‘glitches’ (to call them something polite) there is work and everything that is still being sorted from the recent move (oh to be able to find my shoes). There have been days where life has felt dizzying!
I unapologetically confess that I prefer an ‘expected’ day-to-day existence.
I like to be able to predict my day on the most mundane levels. I do not particularly like my schedule being turned on its head at a moment’s notice. Yes, I definitely get frustrated, irritated, and in the case of the last couple of weeks stressed when my well planned plan gets tossed out the window.
Sometimes there’s not a lot you can do about it. I cursed a few times, demanded answers from the Universe, threatened to quit (although not sure exactly what I am quitting) and of course told myself that I ‘should’ be able to pick-up where I left off after each and every interruption, get my head down and get it all done. Yeah right!
So I went for the next best ‘other option’. What’s that you ask? Get creative, tear up the plans, and change directions. Instead of moaning, “What am I going to do now, my day is ruined, ruined!”
Don’t think ruined, think different.
These Burnout Queens gardened, we went exploring, we organised the office, we ate cake, we went shopping!
Believe me we both spent years stressed to the gills, exhausted beyond repair, angry, frustrated, resentful, stuck, and losing steam trying to hang on to perfection, predictability, consistency, reliability, and (I admit it) sameness. All this led to was tension and pressure alongside of frustration and crankiness, and let’s not forget that ‘yucky’ (that’s a clinical term) feeling of someone other than you pulling the strings of your life!
Well, we are definitely wiser these days (ok wiser and older!) so now we embrace the creativity of the unexpected. Instead of getting our knickers all in a knot we ‘wing it’, go with the flow, roll with it, and sometimes simply take a few deep breaths, chant ‘Om’ and accept it. But here’s the real secret to living in a way that leaves us free from the ravages of burnout…
We understand the values that underpin our life, our ‘ground rules for living’ so to speak. (If you are wondering what these are join the Realm, our free member’s club, and get your copy of The Burnout Queen’s Desiderata. The rules are all there and they are not complicated.) By having this foundation we can make on-the-spot choices and decisions that we know will get us through all the twists and turns that ordinary life brings.
When you ‘get’ your life, when you truly understand what makes it hum or sing out loud, you can ‘wing it’ whenever you want or need to without fear.
So, it’s almost Friday and I find myself thinking, “Next week, I can get a fresh, calm start next week”, it’s kind of like ‘starting the diet on Monday’ thinking, but I know better, it’s life. What are we always encouraging you to do?
Embrace life, my darlings, no matter how chaotic, quirky, cluttered, creative, or ordinary…
‘cause when you wing it you are free to fly.
